Andrew’s (Spring85sigma) BodyBlog

Those of you who have communicated with me on a regular basis, know that I am passionate about seeing people succeed in reaching their health and fitness goals. I admit to surfing BodySpace member profiles of people who are at all fitness levels just to see what and how people are doing (probably the doctoral student in me! LOL! ) One of the most common complaints I see concerns cardio–How much to do; don’t do it; don’t want to do it, when to do it; fasted or not; etc., etc. I am subscribed to a number of fitness e-zines and newsletters and from time to time like to share interesting and helpful articles. What follows is an article from David Grisaffi.

His website: http://www.FlattenYourAbs.Net 

His blog: http://www.flattenyourabs.net/blog 

I’ve found some useful information in his newsletters and his blog. Hopefully, those of you who are not ready to commit to heavy duty cardio, but need to get moving, will find this article useful.

How To Lose Weight With Walking
By David Grisaffi
www.flattenyourabs.net

Three universal goals nearly all of us share are: (1) to live longer,
(2) to live free of illness and (3) to control our weight.  Amazingly,
walking lets us achieve all three. In fact, walking may be your best
medicine for slowing the aging process, reducing your chances of illness
and slashing your body fat. For anyone out of shape or not athletically-
inclined, walking is the no-stress, no-sweat answer to lifelong
conditioning. All you need is a good pair of shoes, a little time, some
common sense, a few guidelines from a fitness professional and you’re
ready to go.

Unfortunately, there’s more misinformation floating around today about
fitness walking and weight loss than ever before. Some experts even say
walking is not effective for weight loss at all and they insist that
only higher intensity forms of cardio will do anything to improve your
body composition. Others fitness experts believe that you should not do
cardiovascular exercise every day - even walking.

There may be a little truth in each of those statements, however,
walking always was and still is one of the best exercises for
strengthening your bones, controlling your weight, toning the muscles in
your lower body, maintaining good posture and improving your self image.

Walking uses almost every muscle in the body, it improves circulation of
blood to the joints and massages the blood vessels, keeping them more
elastic.  Walking also helps you maintain muscle and an efficient
metabolism as you get older (not to mention keeping you young “in
spirit.”)

Walking is incredibly convenient too. Since you don’t need a gym or any
special equipment, you can walk any place, at any time and that allows
you to lose weight and get fit with little or no interruption to your
busy schedule.

People who diet without exercising often get fatter with time.  Although
your weight may initially drop while dieting, weight loss from low
calorie and especially low carb diets consists mostly of water and
muscle.  When the weight returns, it comes back as fat.  To avoid
getting fatter over time, you must increase your metabolism by
exercising daily.

To get the maximum benefits of a walking program, you need make it more
challenging than a leisurely “walk in the park.” Walking at a steady and
brisk pace burns more fat simply because it burns more calories. Just
remember to begin slowly to avoid muscle soreness, and increase your
pace over time as you become more fit.

To lose weight, it’s ideal to alternate your walking sessions between
high intensity and lower intensity days.  For example, on one day walk
for 30- 45 minutes as a steady and moderate pace. On the next day, walk
at a faster pace. You could even do “road work” like the boxers do,
where you break up your walk along the route with some sets of squats,
lunges, bench push ups or other body weight or callisthenic exercises to
make it a real cardiovascular and muscle blaster of a workout! It
doesn’t have to be boring or the same thing every day.  Make it fun and
keep it up consistently, leading an active life-style 365 days a year.

Slow and casual walking has benefits, but you will not get as much out
of walking at a very slow pace because we all have a built-in mechanical
advantage for walking long distances at normal speeds.

Our bodies, via the spinal column, muscle attachments and bony
structures, reserve energy in the musculoskeletal system and release it
back to us without asking for additional energy output. In other words,
as you walk, your spinal column keeps energy in reserve because of the
way you straighten and extend your spine during normal walking.

As you step, your spine is stretched, and as you take another step, the
energy reserved in the spine is used in propulsion. The spine acts very
much like rubber band as your walk, harnessing this reserve energy.

To get substantial cardiovascular, muscular and weight loss benefits,
this is why you must walk briskly or create extra movement patterns
beyond casual, slow walking in order to optimize your walking program
for weight loss and cardiovascular fitness.

Walking the right way will also improve your posture and tends to help
keep you upright (because you must see where you are going). Just hold
your chin up and shoulder slightly back.. Walk with your heels hitting
the ground first and your feet pointed forward. Swing your arms fully
and make lengthy strides.

To lose weight and achieve optimum health, exercise and diet are both
necessary and interrelated.  Exercising without maintaining a balanced
diet is no more beneficial than dieting while remaining a couch potato.

Carbohydrates are high-octane fuel.  They provide energy for movement
and help raise internal body metabolism.  They’re also satisfying.  The
key is to avoid adding high-fat and high calorie toppings to your
carbohydrates. Also be sure to focus on fruits and vegetables and do not
eat the majority of your carbohydrates from the starch category such as
bread, pasta, rice, and potatoes. These type of carbs can create an
insulin spike, which in turn feeds your fat storing system.

Fruits and vegetables are the ideal health, diet and fat loss foods for
many reasons.  They’re relatively low in fat and calories, high in fiber
and rich in essential vitamins and minerals. The National Research
Council recommends eating five or more servings of fruits and vegetables
a day.

Your everyday habits will determine your long term body weight and body
composition.  Make sure you get enough sleep, drink enough water to
expel toxins, avoid processed food as much as you can, eat your fruits
and veggies, eat organic when ever possible and work hard.

Just one last thought: taking a three-minute walk after each meal is
worth a four pound reduction in body fat in a year’s time.  Climbing two
flights of stairs a day burns off half a pound of body fat in a year.
On the other hand, one candy bar eaten daily will cost you 20 pounds
annually.

David Grisaffi
Firm and Flatten Your Abs
http://www.flattenyourabs.net

About The Author

David is the author of Firm And Flatten Your Abs an online best seller
which teaches you how to lose body fat and develop “six pack abs‘ while
improving strength, function and athletic power at the same time. You
can contact David or learn more about his programs at

http://www.FlattenYourAbs.net

Also visit my blog at
http://www.flattenyourabs.net/blog

Because of the recent illness of my grandmother, I hadn’t taken time to post my 11th Six-week workout cycle. Thank God she is better and staying with my aunt recuperating.

I also had a couple of requests for my Cycle 1 workout. I could not find that particular file. I did, however, reproduce the Cycle 1 workout as faithfully as possible. Finally, I am also attaching my workout sheet for my planche training if anyone is interested.

Please modify and use these in anyway that will be helpful to you. If you have any questions I will be glad to assist you. Also note that some exercises descriptions (particularly for the abs) are in my bodyblog.

 I AM FINDING THAT THE EDITOR IS NOT ALLOWING ME TO UPLOAD MICROSOFT WORD DOCUMENTS. SHOULD ANYONE DESIRE A COPY OF THE WORKOUTS, PLEASE SEND A  PM TO ME WITH YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS. i have updated the Cycle 11 workout on my BodySpace Homepage should you like to read it from there.

THE FILE NAMES ARE AS FOLLOWS:

Six-Week Workout-Cycle 11 

Six-Week Workout-Beginner

Cycle 11-Planche Training

For those who may be interested, if nothing more than for a template to organize your workouts, I am attaching my workout cycle 10. It is similar to Workout Cycle 9 with subtle differences. These differences are explained under "My Workout" on my BodySpace page. Furthermore, Cycle 11 will have to be changed significantly in some areas. I know I will have to cough up the $100.00 for 50 pound dumbells. I am doing 30 reps of exercises with 30 pound dumbells. I need to increase strength and get those reps heavier and lower. If you have any comments or suggestions, please feel free to contact me.

To download the attached file, simply click on the link below. This will open another page. Right click on the name of the file (top line) and select "save target as" and designate where on your computer you want to save the document (e.g. desktop or "my documents"). If you are having trouble downloading the file let me know.

SIX-Week Workout-Cycle 10.doc

WORKOUT Cycle 9

Sunday, February 15, 2009, began my Ninth Six-Week Workout Cycle. As usual, I’ve done some tweaking to the workout. I continue to dedicate one day each to working chest and back. This helped both bodyparts! My abs have not suffered from only doing the superset of exercises on my chest day, so that stays. I’ve retained my ab workout on Thursdays. This includes a lot of static positions which have helped with my planche push-up training (I have descriptions of the ab exercises posted in my bodyblog). In order to improve my recovery, I decided to keep all reps and cardio the same with the exception of my planche training which I will change times and reps every two weeks. Otherwise the odd weeks are the same workout and the even weeks are the same workouts. I will concentrate on form and intensity during this cycle and prepare for purchasing 40 POUND dumbells for Cycle 10! Please note that all lifts are currently performed with 30 POUND DUMBELLS! I removed lunges on leg day (not that effective for me)I added 1 minute hanging bicep curls on the odd arm/shoulder workout days. I also added inclined push-ups, inclined side planks, to my ab workouts. Additionally, I will do an additional 100 push-ups Monday-Friday before bedtime.

Planche push-up training will be on Sunday, Tuesday-Wednesday, and Friday. This will also allow for better recovery. I will continue concentrating on mastering the tuck planche during this cycle by working up to 25 seconds by the end of this cycle.

My distance running is going to remain the same—Monday, Wednesdays (Interval 3 miles with weights), and Fridays I will run 3 miles. Tuesdays and Thursdays I will run 2 miles and do some interval and other type of work as noted in the workout.

To download the attached file, simply click on the link below. This will open another page. Right click on the name of the file (top line) and select "save target as" and designate where on your computer you want to save the document (e.g. desktop or "my documents"). If you are having trouble downloading the file let me know.

SIX-Week Workout-Cycle 9.doc

Today I worked chest, did planche training, and did my ab superset. I’m still working on the next workout cycle and will post it when it’s completed. I’ve been looking at ways to be more efficient and intense. Many of the changes will be based on the "tweaks" I’ve made during this cycle. For example, putting back the push-ups was a great help for me and I will continue to do that. I also have to get more serious about stretching and have to find a way to do it systemically. My flexibility has increased, but I believe it could improve even more with a carefully thought-out and implemented plan.

For those of you trying to hang on to the New Year’s Resolutions, I would say sit down and revisit everything that you’ve done and do some tweaking to your workouts. Those things that are working, keep. Those things that are not revise or remove. Make sure you look at your goals and make sure that you have removed barriers to success. Manage your time wisely and KEEP MOVING!

Don’t give up!

Here’s is what I did today!

This is not really a blog. I am simply attaching a copy of my six-week workout cycle to this blog as an example for those who may want to use the format as a way to organize their workouts. I believe organizing my workouts this way has allowed me to be able to maintain focus, build in successes, and avoid injuries. The other strength is that I have a copy of my workout posted and am able to check each off as it is completed. This provides a sense of accomplishment.

If I find that I’ve progressed faster or slower in an element in any of the workouts, I simply adjust the element to provide more or less challenge. The last two weeks of this current cycle will be adjusted, for example, to continue to emphasize work on my chest.

To download the attached file, simply click on the link below. This will open another page. Right click on the name of the file (top line) and select "save target as" and designate where on your computer you want to save the document (e.g. desktop or "my documents"). If you are having trouble downloading the file let me know.

SIX-Week Workout-Cycle 8.doc

Starting The Change Process:  Removing Barriers

 
We sit on the cusp of 2009. The New Year appears to offer the promise of further economic and political uncertainty. Not a day passes by when there is some new disclosure concerning the declining state of our economy.  Tensions have flared anew in the Middle East as Hamas and the Israeli’s engage one another in the millennia old conflict.
 
The 2008 Presidential election appeared, in my opinion, to be directly related to fear and uncertainty.  We secretly hope that the promised “change” is more than a political buzzword or sound bite. I watched with fascination as people many people exhibited what I can only describe as “messianic fervor” concerning the election. My concern is that many people have sought a political solution to problems that have a moral and spiritual, dimension. Furthermore, much “change” can be accomplished at the individual, family, relational, and local level. We are bound to be disappointed if we do not seek to change those things that are within our power to change.
 
For many of us, the process of turning the calendar from one year to another offers the hope, which may or may not be fleeting, of changing our lives for the better. We have the chance to start anew; get a fresh start.  We make resolutions to change jobs, start or finish school, improve our personal relationships, and among the most popular resolution, to lose weight and/or get fit. 
 
We know from research, however, that most resolutions are abandoned by the middle of February. What appears to be the problem with most resolutions is the lack of planning for change. If you have read my previously posted blogs you know that I’ve written about two important components in the change process—goal setting and time management.  Once these components are in place, it is very important to remove “barriers” that might hamper your success.
 
One of the projects that I assigned my counseling and human services students was a “Personal Change Project.” I have Dave Hutchins, one of my former Virginia Tech Professors for the concept. His rationale for having “helpers” in particular work on their own projects was for them to understand how difficult it is to change ones own behavior and for them to gain an insight into what clients might be experiencing as they undergo the change process in the therapeutic or helping relationship.  One must complete the process of goal setting, managing ones time, AND for success to occur being vigilant and removing barriers which might impede progress. This brief blog discusses some common, but not all, barriers to successfully accomplishing ones goals. I will discuss Environmental, Financial, Mental, Relational, and Spiritual barriers.
 

Environmental Barriers

 
When we think about “environment” most of us probably think about our natural world with increasing levels of smog, pollution, erosion, industrial waste, and other problems. These things are always important, but what many of us fail to think about are other types of environments that may serve as barriers to our success.  We know, people in Tennessee have recently learned, that industrial sludge in the water has a very real impact on their quality of life. We seldom think about “environment” on a smaller scale. One of my graduate classes made me intensely aware of the notion of “smaller environments” can be “manipulated” or “designed” to induce or change certain behaviors. Use of color, seating arrangements, architectural features, lighting, and other factors can be used, for example. I had the opportunity to apply this information as I designed and ran a “non-alcoholic” nightclub while a graduate student at Virginia Tech.
 
Now given this information, is it any wonder that our immediate environment can serve as barriers to our reaching our behavioral and personal change goals? Here, I discuss briefly “Human” and “Living or Personal” space.
 
Human Space
 
I use the term “human space” to refer to environments where we as humans congregate in groups. To make this more precise, I’m thinking of spaces where the emphasis is more on human interaction and the quality of those interactions.  Those of us who have spent any amount of time working in “complex organizations” know that there are “organizational cultures,” those written and unwritten rules and norms that impact how people interact with one another. These interactions cause anyone in the particular culture to “feel” or “experience” an organization in a very specific way. Where one is situated in the organization may also impact his or her perception of the organizational culture. There is, however, usually a consensus as to how a particular “culture” is. Since the type of “humans” in it largely determines the “culture”, it is important to realize that not all “human spaces” are right for us. This would be particularly true of those spaces that emphasize negative behavior (e.g. gossip, substance abuse, arguing, toxic, competitive etc.). When we are trying to change behavior, we often need to change or “human spaces” or “cultural affiliations.”  If we don’t they may prove later to be barriers to effective change. As an example, I had a student whose personal change process was to loose ten pounds by the end of a 15-week semester. This was a very achievable goal. She developed her goals as they related to diet and exercise. She was NOT, however, prepared for the fact that she would have to do some changing to human environment. Her friends, who were thin and “loved her as she was” did not see the need for her to lose the weight. Being a very affluent school, kids had a lot of money to spend on eating out, and this was a large part of her social life. She was very upset one day in class as she reported on her progress. Although she wanted to go out and be with her friends, she realized that she could not eat the same menu items that she would have previously ordered, and maintain her plan to lose the weight. She found that she was pressured to order the high calorie entrees instead of the healthier lower calorie, lower fat choices. She also found that she was pressured to skip the gym to go shopping or on lunch dates. The solutions were simple in theory, but difficult for her to implement. She needed to change her “human environments.” This could mean changing the people in her environment by communicating how important her lifestyle change was to her and asking for their support. It could also mean reducing the time that she spent within this group of friends and spending more time with people whose goals were more congruent with hers. More drastically, it could mean totally abandoning her current peer group altogether. Finally, she needed to look at the “human spaces or environments” in which she did her socializing. Instead of restaurants and other eating establishments, she could encourage her group to meet at bookstores, bowling alleys, the gym, or other venues.
 
In summary, in order to change one must help those in ones immediate “environment” to get ready for change and to abandon human spaces and “cultures” that are not consistent with the changes one wants to make. It is easier said than done, but may play a major role in ones success or failure at reaching your goals. Find helpful people, groups, and healthy places that are supportive of your goals. Eliminate those that are not.
 
Living or Personal Space
 
What does your house, apartment, or room look like? Is it neat (not necessarily of the “neat freak” type neat)? Is it cluttered? If the space is cluttered, try to find a way to organize the space (e.g. shelving, storage units, getting rid of unwanted junk). Living in a cluttered space can, in some instances sap ones energy. In working with clients (mostly teenagers in this case), I’ve found that they want a clean room but have let the clutter build to such a point that they find it emotionally draining just to “think about” cleaning the room. In the meantime, parents are giving them grief about the clutter, which seems to impact them just knowing that the room is “dirty,” to use the parents’ word.
 
If nothing else, an uncluttered personal space can assist one in being more efficient. Knowing where things are and having “a place for everything” and “everything in its place” prevents time lost finding things or even “thinking about having to clean up the space.”
 
Another point, think about other people who might come into or who live in your space. Your clutter could have an impact on them as well. One of the classic college roommate problems is the “Neat Freak” versus the “Slob.” The pair may “like” each other, but cannot abide the “overly neat” or “overly sloppy” aspect of his or her roommate’s personality. One or the other predominates. In this case, the solution is either to split the pair or teach one roommate how to tolerate a lower level of neatness and the other roommate how to become neater and more organized.
 
To conclude this section, organize your space, get rid of old things that you don’t use, buy storage for things you want to keep, create a space for everything and systematically maintain your space, and get some help (e.g. a good friend, professional organizer, etc). Once you organize your space, you will be less likely to be distracted from accomplishing your larger goals. Remember, it doesn’t have to be “neat freak” neat, but organized and clutter free.
 

Financial Barriers

 
Times are tough economically.  Many of us tie our ability to create change in our lives to our financial status. While finances may prove to be a huge barrier, often we overwhelm ourselves with the “big picture” financially.  There may also be the tendency to overestimate the amount of money needed, if any, to start a major change process.  Try sitting down and breaking your goals down into smaller achievable sub goals. Try to assess the cost financially of achieving your goals. Can you get what you need by finding someone you know who can assist you? Do you have skills that you are not using that could assist you in making more money (e.g. computer whiz, personal trainer, artist, brick mason, etc.)? Do you really NEED to spend money to reach your goal?
 
My personal example is instructive here. I REALLY like going to the gym. I got very spoiled at Syracuse University and also had a membership at Gold’s. When financial disaster struck me I had to move back home, I lost everything (i.e. furniture, electronics, clothing, self-confidence, etc.), put my doctorate on hold, and generally felt like a failure. Once home in Virginia, I felt sorry for myself, ate like a mad man, got overweight (for me) and was feeling like crap.  I knew I needed to work out, but stubbornly held to the idea of joining a gym; the nearest one was 26 miles away and a rather expensive price for me, given the fact that I was and still am woefully under-employed L J! As the bones began to ache and fat accrued around the middle, I had to sit down and realistically ask whether or not I could get myself in shape without a gym. I knew I could NOT afford the gym based upon an honest appraisal of my finances (gym fees and gas), travel time, and wear and tear on my old clunker of a car.  I had an exercise ball, a 20-pound dumbbell set and my bodyweight. I reframed my situation and turned it into a challenge. I realized that I could more easily buy small bits of equipment by saving bit by bit rather than spending the money in gym fees. I researched the web, found exercise ball, dumbbell, and bodyweight exercises, developed a six-week program and began to implement it. The challenge has come in seeing my body change, spotting weaknesses, and trying to tweak my workouts. As workouts grew a bit stagnant, I stumbled upon the Bodyspace website  in my search for more bodyweight exercises. I toyed for months with the idea of putting up a page. There were so many people with great bodies. “My old butt would probably look ridiculous!” I thought. One crucial aspect of behavior change is to take risks (calculated well-thought out risks). I put the page up with a few pictures and was pleasantly surprised by the support and compliments. As I also had to run for the first-time without a treadmill, I also found an “Over 35 Runners’ Forum” on the site which has been a great source of support. In short, I changed my “human environment” as mentioned above. Although in cyberspace, I had found a group of people with similar goals who were supportive of my attempts to change. I have found that I attack my workouts with more energy and enthusiasm and actually like posting progress pictures and getting feedback in notes and in picture ratings. The process allowed me the opportunity to learn some new things about bodyweight exercises, get myself in shape, regain some self-confidence, and make a few new friends while saving a LOT OF MONEY!
 
When looking at financial barriers to change, sit down and really count the true costs. Break your goals down into very small achievable sub goals and assess the costs of achieving each of these sub-goals. You might find that you may not need as much money as you thought. Also in assessing your goals make sure that you carefully consider the time element. Which goals can be put off and, therefore, saved for? Which ones are more immediate and need some funding?  Be creative about those goals that you do need money for. Use a hobby or avocation to bring in some extra cash. Barter with friends and/or business associates. Find supportive “rich” relatives or friends (LOL!) who might loan or grant you the money. If in your analysis you find that there are some goals that don’t need financing, plan for those goals that might need financing in the future.      
 

Mental

 
For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: . . . (Proverbs 23:7)
 
My department chair at Syracuse asked me to provide clinical supervision to a master’s level student. This process requires that I keep process notes and tape my supervision sessions so that she could provide feedback to me concerning my supervision. This was one of the most nerve-wracking experiences in all of my doctoral education since this person wrote one of the leading books on the process of clinical supervision.  Not being able to avoid the process, I embraced it, although I thought I was “horrible,” I found out I wasn’t, but was given very constructive and personally tailored feedback which made me a profoundly better clinical supervisor. Now, if I could only find a job requiring those skills J! During the process, it was revealed to me that I was very “cognitive” in my approach to working with students.  I had never really thought about the fact that I really believe that how one thinks impacts how one behaves AND how one behaves impacts how one thinks—reciprocal process. I’m now aware that even if I have to use other therapeutic modalities in my work with clients, I very often come back to the “cognitive-behavioral” approach.
 
All too often, we “think” ourselves out of not only achieving our goals, but also attempting them in the first place.  Very briefly here, use your thinking process to research and develop your goals for change. Use your thought process to analysis your goals’ strengths and weaknesses and refine the plan, but do NOT use your thoughts to prevent yourself from attempting a worthwhile goal.
 
Will there be times when you will have to change or not reach your goals? Of course, this may simply be due to the fact that your goal was unrealistic or not the right goal. Although one may be disappointed, learn from the experience and move on to a modified or new goal. Do not spend a lot of time “thinking” about what a “failure” you are.  Thinking you are a failure can have you “acting” like one and that, indeed, is a huge barrier to overcome!
 

Relational Barriers

 
Our more intimate personal relationships can have a huge impact on our reaching our goals. If positive, they facilitate our success. If dysfunctional, they create huge barriers. I will briefly touch upon family, friendship, and romantic relationships as they relate to achieving our behavior change goals in this section.
 
Family
We don’t have any choice concerning our family of origins. What I know from study and experience living in my family and working with other families as a therapist is that all of our families contain a level of dysfunction.  Families have patterns of interactions, communication, dysfunction, strengths, and weaknesses that can be passed down through generations. While it is my hope that in spite of occasional dysfunctions, most families are loving and supportive, I know that this is not always the case. Families are systems and each member is connected. If the connections are positive, our efforts to change will be supportive and might even spur positive change in the family system. If not, one might experience hostility and even sabotage of our efforts to change our behavior and reach our goals. It appears to me that sometimes when a family member attempts to change his or her behavior positively, the family looks at this change as a reflection of a “weakness” inherent in the family. There can be a coalescing of the family unit against the “rebellious” member who wants change and enough peer pressure can be applied that the family member will give up his or her pursuit of the goal to preserve the peace of the family. What has happened, in essence, is the family has moved back to equilibrium or the status quo. Change is not easy. It is disruptive and uncomfortable. Some families find dysfunction more comfortable than change.
 
When facing this type of challenge, it may be best to try to explain to the family why you need to change try to find an ally within the system and reassure the family that the change is for your good.  Should this fail, seek support outside of the family by finding friends, peers, community leaders, online communities, clergy, and other people to assist you in reaching your goals.  Be courageous and continue to pursue your goals. Often once you have reached your goal the family unit will view your success differently and may be sufficiently “inspired” to make changes. Do not, however, use this as a motivating factor for your change. Change for yourself. 
 
Friendship
 
People seem genuinely surprised that their friendships can be “dysfunctional” when they come for therapy. Not all friendships are created equally. Indeed, some friendships should not be at all. People often choose friends to meet unmet needs, overlooking negative behaviors and personality traits for the sake of the friendship. Invariably, this leads to an imbalance within the relationship where one person feels used (Also sounds like romantic relationships).  Make sure that you are a good friend and that you have good friends. Good friends will want what is best for you and will support you in positive areas of growth and change. They will also, however, tell you when you are out of line and will “supportively” put you in your place ! Interestingly enough, I did not find my two best friends until I started college.  Both are very bright, sober, and thoughtful, with quick wits. Hopefully, they would say the same of me! LOL! Actually, we are close enough that we can tell by an e-mail or phone call when something is wrong.  We can go months without seeing each other and when we get together it is like we were never apart. We will, however, when needed be brutally honest with each other. This leads to interesting and spirited discussions, but never anger. They’ve both been suggesting that I leave my present profession which has been tough to hear, but has sunk in. They think I deserve more and have been honest in letting me know that. This, of course, necessitates a “change process” for me. I’ve agreed that completing my doctorate will assist me in the career transition, but am also about to pursue some other training to facilitate the transition.
 
A good friend support and sometimes spur you to change for the better. They will also have as high a standard for themselves as they do for you. Finally, good friends, because there is no blood tie (They love you for you.), can be more objective in their appraisal of you. Often when I have a particularly difficult problem, I will think about the problem and formulate my solution, and take it to my two friends separately. The vast majority of the time they will give the same advice even if different from mine. This is a valuable alternative opinion. On those times when we disagree, the spirited debate takes place. We work through the problem and then eat a good meal and knock back a few drinks. The beauty of this is that all of us fee that we can do this with each other. If this is NOT happening for you reconsider your friendships. Friends should not take you away from that which is positive in your life. If they do, there is a barrier to eliminate.
 
Romantic
 
Romantic relationships present some of the same problems that friendships do. However, there is a differing degree of intimacy that makes us vulnerable.  Certain types of intimacy can make us feel “loved” or “in love.” The biggest problem I saw when working with college students was this failure to understand the complex nature of romantic relationships.
 
The pursuit of unhealthy romantic relationships has derailed both male and female students academically and socially. Indeed this pursuit has derailed the lives of many of us.  We all want to feel loved and will often haphazardly pursue relationships that detract from our personal goals and development. How many of us know people in relationships where one person does all of the work while the other seems to “take”? What I’ve seen in therapy mostly are people who have given of themselves to marriage and family without having benefit of setting goals and pursuing some self-development. The children are grown and now there is a divorce looming. The person is without identity and has no clue about what to do.  There is a period of assisting the person in learning about him or herself (finding talents, gifts, likes and dislikes, attitudes, beliefs) and then learning a new paradigm for relationships and “being” in the world.
 
In short, look for a person who wants the best for you. Look for someone who is a “whole” person with interests, friends, hobbies, and a life. While this life does not exclude you it should afford both of you the opportunity to pursue some personal goals and interests that are not necessarily shared by the both of you. Anyone who does not want what is best for you is NOT for you.
 

I have a blog on my blackplanet page (http://www.blackplanet.com/spr85sigma). It is entitled, “What my clients taught me about relationships.” I list things I’ve learned from doing therapy with adults with issues around relationships. I list them below for your perusal and thought:

 -A relationship cannot fix your problems
-People will be “who they are” in a relationship…eventually
-Sex occurs much too soon in relationships
-It takes TWO people to make a relationship THRIVE or FLOUNDER
-One should know who one is BEFORE entering into a relationship
-Your “ideal” mate or partner might not be “ideal for you
-Your family of origin has a profound impact on how you function in relationships
-Pick your friends (and mates or partners) carefully!
-People are afraid to be alone!
 

Read the full blog for my discussion of each point.

Spiritual

 
Finally, I believe the best goals are those that conform to the will and laws of The Creator. Make sure that your goals are not only good for you, but are in accordance with that which He deems best for you. Doing this assures the absence of barriers. Take time to read and study the Word. Pray that you learn His will for you. Is this not the ultimate GOAL?
 
Ideally, your goals should be a blessing to not only you, but to others. As I watch the world get more dangerous and crueler by the day, it is my sincere wish that those of you who read this blog set a goal to help someone else live a better life. Mentor a child, visit the elderly, give someone a ride, help someone workout, take someone to worship, share a meal, or simply ask someone what you can do to be of service. Apply the Golden Rule. As we bless others we are blessed.
 
I end this blog by wishing you and yours a safe, productive, healthy, and blessed 2009!

A lot of my colleagues on here are fighting food cravings. They crave certain foods during certain times, for example. They often feel guilty about having "fallen off the wagon." As a therapist, I must say that when one is working toward a goal, that is changing behavior, often there are times when we may have setbacks. The important thing to do when these setbacks occur is to find out WHAT triggered the setback, assess the setting, your emotional state (e.g. lonely, bored, sad, depressed, etc.), any "activating events," (e.g. trauma, argument, celebration, etc.), who were you with, etc. After this is done make sure that you remove barriers, develop "safeguards" and or preventive strategies, and/or change settings to minimize the chance for the setback occurring again. With food cravings, it is often best to not have "tempting" foods in the environment. Once a craving occurs, if one can distract onself for about 5-10 minutes the craving will usually subside. Another strategy is to plan when you are going to eat something that is less than healthy. Have some of the food and then get back to your healthy diet.  Also make sure that there are family, friends, and other supportive people who understand your struggle who will encourage you to stick to your eating plan and NOT sabotage it. Remember, it takes about 21 days to change or acquire a new habit. Be patient with yourself.

I found an article by Jeff Anderson, "The Muscle Nerd" which summarizes some of what I’ve mentioned above. I hope this assists those of you who are continually fighting food cravings. The URL for the article is as follows:

http://www.undergroundbodybuildingtips.com/article_details.php?aid=38

Here is the text of the article:

How To Conquer Food Cravings!
By: - The Muscle Nerd - Jeff Anderson Mmmmmmm!  My wife is baking cookies as I write this article! 

Do YOU have insatiable food cravings? Everyone does, right? 

Maybe for you it’s CHOCOLATE…or POTATO CHIPS…or LIME JELL-O! Whatever it is for YOU, food cravings are one of the reasons so many diets FAIL. 

After a few weeks of depriving yourself, you mindlessly scarf down your “secret sin” food and then wallow around in self-guilt. Sound familiar? 

Well, here are 4 TIPS TO CONQUER YOUR FOOD CRAVINGS… Food Craving Tip #1:  Time Your Indulgence 

The best time to eat your “guilt foods” are shortly after training. This is when your body can actually USE the common insulin spike from eating sugary foods to help your muscles recover from your workout. 

That helps you build or maintain muscle which will in turn help you burn more fat. Food Craving Tip #2:  Find Healthier Alternatives 

Eating the WRONG foods isn’t an “all or nothing” ordeal. So many people say, “If I’m gonna blow my diet, I may as well blow it BIG!” 

Wrong answer! Choose low-fat eggnog over full fat 

…dark chocolate over milk chocolate …bake without the lard, full fat butters, or hydrogenated oils that recipes call for and use “healthy” oils instead. 

One of my favorite “desserts” is sugar-free vanilla pudding mixed with vanilla protein powder! Mmmmm…muscle-building goodness for late-night cravings! 

Food Craving Tip #3:  Cheat, Cheat, Cheat! When you’re trying to lose weight, a “cheat day” can actually HELP you achieve better results! 

If you’ve been programming your body to deal with reduced calorie intake, it can adapt and try to hold on to body fat because it feel it needs to conserve that valuable fuel source. But by adding a “cheat day” in (no more than once a week!), you can jolt your sleepy metabolism into letting go of more body fat. 

Food Craving Tip #4:  Plan Your “Make Up” Too often when falling off the wagon, people see it as “failure” and just give up. 

Instead, when you know you’re going to be “cheating”, PLAN for how you’re going to compensate.  So if you find yourself at a party and the voices in your head are screaming for chips and dip, mentally COMMIT to hitting the gym the very next day with the intention of burning off those extra calories! 

Time Management: Another Tool for Effective Behavior Change

At times we often feel overwhelmed. The world seems to go faster and faster and we seem to never “catch up.” Additionally, we don’t feel satisfied with the quality of our lives and feel that we “don’t have time for ourselves. Often when doing career and educational counseling, I have found that college students complain about the same things. College courses require students to master a large amount of material in a short period of time.  Students who are of non-traditional age (25 and over) have to manage college work, careers, and family. Often doing this effectively comes down to time management.
 
It is imperative that a time management plan is in place to help us gain a sense of control over our competing priorities. Often if we can write things down, they are no longer free to “rattle” about in our brains, causing worry and draining our emotional and physical energy. An honest look at how you spend your time often reveals a lot of “wasted” time. I recommend that anyone who seeks to change his or her life, particularly those who want to change or develop a habit or behavior take the time to develop a time management plan.  What follows is an exercise to help you develop a plan.
 
Here are some questions to think about.  Be as honest as you can about the time needed. Afterwards, try to objective analyze what is important and what is not in terms of how you spend your time.
 
Create a time management grid (In some of these blogs, I am attaching a copy of one I use with my students and clients. If one is not attached, e-mail me a spring85sigma@yahoo.com and I will send you a copy). Create space for “free time,” workout time, reading time, etc.
 
1.         What are the commitments outside of my home that I must fulfill?
 
2.         What are the commitments to family and friends that I must fulfill?
 
3.         How important is quality time with my family and friends? How much do I need?
 
4.         How important is my social life? Faith and religious life?
 
5.         Do I have any habits or hobbies that I like and need time for?
 
6.         How much travel time do I need between commitments?
 
7.         How much sleep do I need?
 
8.         How much time for exercise do I need?
 
9.         How much personal (quiet time) do I need?
 
10.       What can I get others to help me with that will save me time?
 
It is often easier to manage something if we break it down into parts.  Do this with a day.  There are, of course, 24 hours in a day.  This translates into 168 hours per week.  Develop a tentative schedule using a time management grid.  Some of the time blocks that could appear in your schedule are as follows:
 
1.         Work (and other required activities)
2.         Class and/or training time. (Schedule two hours of study time for every hour you are in class).
3.         Hobbies
4.         Sports/Workout
5.         Free time
6.         Shopping (e.g. grocery, pleasure)
7.         Reading time
8.         Entertainment
 
This becomes your “master” schedule. Realize that changes often have to be made for special events or circumstances.
 
Two other points:
 
1.         Don’t schedule activities during times that you know you aren’t going to complete them. It sets you up for failure. For example, I had college students who would schedule four hours of study time on Friday night. That, for MOST students, wasn’t going to happen.
 
2.         Do review your master schedule every week. Perhaps on a Sunday night and adjust it for special events that do not normally occur every week (e.g. an exam or paper due, a race or competition, a wedding).
 
If you can set goals and effectively manage your time, you are on your way to effective
behavior change.

Time Management Grid

Goal Setting:  One of the Foundations of Behavior Change

You want to make changes in your life. Are you ready to do that which is necessary to make the changes you want to make and to make the changes permanent?  What we do know is that change is not made without having a plan. This plan consists of goals. Goal setting is one of the foundations of behavior change. Before setting goals, however, it is necessary to see if you are really ready to make changes. Prochaska, Norcross, and DiClemente wrote a book entitled Changing for Good (1992). This book addresses making behavioral changes such as losing weight and stopping smoking.  Prochaska suggests that people can be at a number of stages as it relates to their readiness for change. These six stages are as follows:

1. Precontemplation - no thought of changing, now or later. Others who care about us may repeatedly urge us to take action on our problem but at this stage, we are deaf to their pleas. 
   
2.  Contemplation - thinking about changing, about why one follows the bad habit, what its payoff is. Bring both the rational mind and the emotions into play to move yourself to a commitment to change.   
3. Preparation - remove temptations, plan how action will be taken, arrange support and understanding from family, friends, perhaps a support group. Arrange substitutes for the missed habit or activity or substance. Beware of substituting a new problem (over-eating, over-spending) for the old.
4. Action - the stage most of us picture, actual practice of the new way of being.
5. Maintenance - Prochaska shows that many people benefit from learning the difference between a lapse and a total relapse, (a complete collapse back into the old way). Being prepared to recognize a lapse and take immediate action can save the effort.  
   
6. Termination - depending on the desired change and the person, total termination of the problem behavior may not occur. Instead, there may be a lifetime of careful maintenance. In other cases, the problem is conquered and temptation to renew the poor behavior ceases. The authors state that confidence that one has really succeeded peaks after a year but that temptation continues for two or three years.  
   

(Recycling - back to one of the previous stages) Changing for Good shows that it is entirely possible for a person to fail at one stage or another, only to make a second or subsequent attempts that succeed.

Read each description and find out which stage best describes you. Begin working toward preparation and action stages if you are not there. This is where setting goals becomes important.

Setting Goals

While it would be better to be proactive and plan for change, often our impetus to change is spurred by some loss or other sudden life transition. When going through a difficult loss and the subsequent transition that follows, it is often helpful to provide some structure and direction. This is not to say, that one should suppress the natural emotions and feelings that may accompany the process.  It is my suggestion that goal setting will set the stage for dynamic growth and development that can come from the introspection and self-examination that often accompanies a loss or life transition.  Setting goals also helps to quell some of the uncertainty and disorientation that one can experience during a painful transition.  There is evidence that those who write down their goals are more likely to achieve them.  Have you written down your goals? 

Guidelines for Effective Goal Setting

These guidelines for effective goal setting are taken from the textbook co-authored by one of the professors who taught me at Virginia Tech.  The text is entitled Helping Relationships and Strategies (3^rd Edition) and was written by David Hutchins and Claire Cole Vaught (1997). The Guidelines are as follows: 

1.         Narrow goals from vague to specific.

-Identify the goal(s) that you want to achieve by looking at the behavior (thoughts feelings, and/or actions) that you are trying to work on (e.g. improve, eliminate, or change). 

2.         Make goals realistic and achievable. 

            -Break the goal down into smaller essential parts (subgoals)

3.         State goals in positive terms (state what you will be doing). 

-It is not enough to say, “I will lose weight.”  It is better to say, for example, “I will lose 2 pounds per week until I reach my goal of weighing 120 pounds.” 

4.            Specify the conditions for reaching goals.

            STATE:

            -When will the behavior occur?

            -Where will the behavior take place?

            -With whom or under what circumstances will the behavior occur? 

5.         Make goals measurable.

According to Hutchins and Vaught (1997, p.144), under normal conditions, “when goals are stated positively, when they are broken down into achievable parts and when conditions are specified for their achievement, goals will be measurable or observable in various ways.”

Look for changes in behavior, defined, for these purposes, as:

                        Thoughts

                        Feelings

                        Actions

Ask yourself:

-When the problem is resolved, what changes in thoughts, feelings and actions do I expect to see?

-What will you think when you achieve this goal?

-How will your feelings be different from your feelings now?

-What will you be doing when this problem is resolved?

-How will others know that you have reached your goal?

Remember that your goals are NOT etched in stone and should be revisited and refined periodically.  Furthermore, as you reach your goals, you will find that you will set new goals or that some of your goals were not the proper goals in the first place. If you need help setting goals, find a professional (e.g. therapist, minister, rabbi, very good friend).

EXAMPLE:
 
Goal:
I will lose two pounds per week until I reach my target weight of 158 pounds.
 
Sub-goals (or strategies):

1. I will engage in strength training at least three times per week for 30 minutes at my local gym.
2. I will engage in cardiovascular training at least three times per week for 30 minutes at my local gym.
3. I will remove all processed carbohydrates from my diet.
4. I will eat at least three servings of vegetables per day.
5. I will keep a food log on a daily basis to record my food choices.
6. I will not eat any food after 8:00 pm.
7. I will maintain a weight loss chart and will weigh in every Sunday to track my weight loss*.

*Note this will require that one record a “baseline weight” and a might be best if the goal was initiated on a Sunday.
 
When I reach my goal:
1.                  I will feel better about my appearance.

2.                  I will socialize more.

3.                  My self-esteem will increase.

4.                  I will be healthier (e.g. lower blood pressure, less joint pain, etc.)

5.                  Others will notice how I’ve changed and comment.

Create or find tools (e.g. computer programs, counselors, tables, charts, etc.) to help you reach your goals. People who are visual may need charts to record progress. For example, I have my workouts planned for six-week cycles and typed into a table. Each workout is typed and entered under the appropriate day. When I complete a workout it is checked off. I seldom will skip a workout because I hate to see a missing check mark on my table.

Remember to celebrate small victories and don’t punish yourself for setbacks (See “recycling” above). We all have them. In the case of weight loss DO NOT reward yourself with food. Use a new piece of clothing, a trip, or some other reward. Move toward the maintenance stage.

For some people goal setting will not be the only problem to master. Some may need to better manage their time. That will be covered in a future blog.