sparklebear00’s BodyBlog

This was so important I had to blog about it.

I just had the nastiest protein shake I have ever had in my life. 1 cup unsweetened soy milk, 1 scoop protein powder, 1/2 cottage cheese blended.

I typically mix my powder with soy milk, so that wasn’t the problem. I blame the cottage cheese.

For real, that was some nasty shit. Ugh.

I have eaten like ass for the last few days. Ugh. But, I know better than to beat myself up, as I will just keep messing up because I’ll be in a shit mood. I have myself Tuesday as a cheat day because we were gone all day and it just wasn’t feasible to plan my entire day and bring food along. I still think I was under my cals for the day, which is an accomplishment for a cheat day.

Wednesday I took a freaky nap from 10am to 4 pm, so needless to say, I was freaking about being seriously under cals. I think I did decently though. Today (Thursday), I was having issues remembering to eat - and then I cheated at the end of the night. It wasn’t even a good cheat. Meh, well. Pick up the pieces and get over it, girlie.

Tomorrow is Friday and a completely different day.

So, I am beginning to up my cals from 1500 to 1800. Yesterday I tried to wing a 40/40/20 split for macros, and it is SO not do-able. It has to be planned out.

My big issue is my fat intake. The soy milk I bought has 4 grams, and if I can only have 40 grams a day and I drink 3 glasses of soy milk, then that knocks me down to 26 grams per day. Flax takes 14 of those, so now I am down to 12 grams from food. SUPER difficult to do. In fact, to keep my fat down I haven’t had flax in the past few days. Well, I also have been eating cheese, so that adds fat to my diet. Ugh. It is SO much easier when planned out, but you know, I am doing so well eating clean now that I am not going to try and uproot everything. Also, it is not too practical to live at home with my family for now and eat my own thing every day. When I move back up North in a few weeks, then I can eat the same thing for three days then cycle out to something new.

Today was weigh-in day! I am from 237 to 232.6! Woo hoo! I don’t trust that scale I was on today, but for now it is what works. I am expecting to lose water weight, so 5 lbs in a week is pretty decent. We will see what my weight is like after week two - it has better be under 230! If i were to weigh 200 by the New Year that would be amazing. But, for now, we’re going to work on busting  the 230 bubble.

Whoa, so I just got my battery operated calipers, and they are AWESOME! I am super excited. I tested my bf% and it was 27.7. Pretty foul, but honestly,  was expecting it to be in the 40’s like it was before. So, it actually has improved! I want my goal for now to be 16%, but when I did the math to figure out what my goal weight would be for 16% it was 203 pounds. I for sure want to bust the 200 bubble and even get down to the 180’s. I suppose my body fat would be much lower than 16% then. I need to re-evaluate.

To be 16% bf, my overall weight would have to be 200. I would have to carry 30lbs of fat and hold onto my 171 lbs of lean body mass. I am so confused, as I thought I could get down to about 180, but I clearly can’t do so without being emaciated and losing muscle mass…or cutting off a limb.

This news, that at the beginning made me kind of sad, is now good! Losing 30 pounds of fat sounds more easily attainable than losing 60 pounds "in general." Now I know that if I dip below 190 that I am losing muscle mass and I need to bump myself back up. My goal weight will always be around 200 pounds.

Body fat testing is a beautiful thing! I feel like I have a REALISTIC goal now - not just something that I would like to be. Every person is built differently, and I am NOT one of those girls who will be 6′2 and weigh 150 pounds. It’s not in the cards for me, and I don’t want it to be either if I will have to sacrifice my muscle.

So NOW, finally, I can find out how many calories to eat to sustain the muscle I have and not feed the fat. I’ll get back when I figure out how many cals that is. Until then I’ll be rockin’ the 1500 cals a day.

So one small cheat today. I was aiming for 1500 cals, and at the end of the night I had in the low 1400’s. So, I allowed myself one spoonful of the peach cobbler my mother made. I doubt it was even 50 cals, but it was a cheat none-the-less.

This is totally unrelated, but I was thinking about going vegan. I have had the thoughts for a while, but I thought I was too dependent on cheese to do so. The more I think about how terribly the animal are treated and how the farmers get around the rules of "free-range" the more I want nothing to do with that lifestyle. I can give up eggs as is (I am only eating them for protein), I already rarely drink milk (hate the taste), so cheese and butter would be the next hurdle. Butter would be okay for me, as I don’t eat much of it, especially while eating clean, and there is soy cheese.

I posted a thread  asking how many people used soy as their main source of protein, and this awesome poster told me about gemma, a protein made from peas. I then, after some google searches discovered rice and hemp protein. I wonder why these proteins are not readily available, as you can barely find soy protein in GNC or the Vitamin Shoppe. I suppose it has something to do with the cow industry? Beats me, but once I get back to NY I will definitely be dabbling in the gemma and rice protein.

Calipers and protein powder come in tomorrow!

I have been doing pretty well for the past few days. I’ve ignored the temptation of whatever else my family is eating and just done my own thing. For now I am eating clean, in about a week I will start refining my macro count. My plan is 50-30-20 (C/P/F). I’m a vegetarian, so I read that because of my need to eat beans (and other foods where the protein and carbs are laced together) as a protein source, I should have a higher carb count. I think eventually I will move to a 40/40/20, once I learn to curb my carbs a little better.

In other news, I think I may do Body For Life after my birthday (Sept. 26th). I haven’t decided though.

So, after some crappy hiatuses and lazy      spells, back on the wagon I am. For the past few days I have been eating      cleanly, and doing a pretty good job. I have not worked out a day since      coming home for the summer, and that is simply because I am lazy. Well that      and it is HOT here! No one can ever tell me that Houston, Texas isn’t      ridiculous. It’s my home and I love it here, but for real - 89 degrees at 7      am? Tack on the 90% humidity and it can be unbearable.

I gained TWENTY (that is 2-0) pounds since      last June. I do know exactly how it was done, so I can’t lie about that one.      What I can say is that because I walked to work and walked quite a bit from      train station to train station I didn’t gain 30 or 40. My habits were      definitely poised to gain more than 20.

I am waiting for something to “click.” i am      waiting for my mind to be determined like it has been before. I had about a      2 month span where I lost 20 pounds and I was working out/lifting while      counting calories. In fact, I had even gotten to the point where fatty foods      upset my stomach. Offer me french fries or a can of green beans and I would      be all over the green beans. I may even have two cans! I want to get back to      that. So, now I am on my way.