sparklebear00’s BodyBlog

I now officially weigh less than I did in the 8th grade. Thank GOD. Even though the scale and I hate eachother, I totally need it for moments like this.

I have been here once before, about a year and a half ago I got down to 211, so once I bust THAT bubble I will be in uncharted territory. But, really 10 pound is nothing in the grand scheme of things. I have almost lost 70, so what’s 10?

It’s really hard not to beat myself up about this, but I gained 30 pounds last year. I wish I could have maintained the 211 or LOST the 30 instread of gaining it, but woulda-coulda-shoulda. I’m here now at 219 and that’s all that matters. 219 is WAY better than the 241 it was in April.

Oh how I love updating my updating my body stats. Now, if I could just find a job in this craphole of an economy everything would be great!

I have both dreams of going vegan (I am already vegetarian) and doing keto. Sadly, these dreams don’t mix well. Vegetarian and keto will already be pretty difficult, and nixing eggs and cheese from my diet will make it nearly impossible. So, this dream, along with the one of marrying Justin Timberlake, is down the crapper.

I have wanted to carb cycle for a while now because it intrigues me, however I do love my carbs….so maybe I could calorie cycle? It’s still manipulation of my calories, and I think calorie cycling will be easier - but I don’t know if the results are as awesome as carb cycling. Any advice?

Also, it’s day two of the fruit and veggie detox and I’m not feeling as bad as I expected to. I would love to go to the gym, but I don’t know if I should push it. I may not have the energy that I think I do. The ability to eat nuts is a God-send. I think they keep me from going crazy.

My jaw hurts from chewing so much….I really want to know how rabbits do it.

I am doing a 5 day all you can eat raw fruit and veggie detox (plus a multi and a tbsp of olive oil/flax) to help merge my body and mind into one. This has zero to do with weight loss.

I have recently started meditation and I can see how much better I am getting at it, as well as how it is beginning to benefit me. I need to heal my mind, and with that will come healing of the body. In regards to the fast, the nutritionist said that day one is okay, and that days two and three will be painful, but by four I will be used to it, and day five will be a piece of cake…and that I will probably want a piece of cake as well.

I have eaten a lot of cabbage today. A LOT OF CABBAGE. Green beans are next, then probably a fruit smoothie.

It is amazing how much more different foods taste when they aren’t cooked. I can’t stand cooked cabbage, but I will eat the mess out of raw cabbage….I think that is so amazing. I think everyone can benefit from knowing what a food tastes like in it’s purest form. We get so caught up in frying, baking, grilling, and condiments that we lose the taste.

I went out for a friend’s birthday the other day and one of the guys i was with was about to drool over fried green tomatoes. When I ate one, it tasted like breading and oil. Like…what was the point? I’m not saying I wouldn’t have eaten several of those a few years ago, but it didn’t even taste like tomato!

I’m not saying that everyone has to eat only raw fruits and veggies for 5 days to be able to appreciate the taste of various produce, but I think we should all just try a raw piece of whatever we are about to cook just to see what it tastes like.  Who knows, you may just enjoy it more raw!

Big decision today - I am officially going to give up alcohol.

I am aiming for a month, as in making it until New Years. I can feel that I am depending on alcohol more to have a good time or feel better, and although it is not a "problem" yet, it very well could be in the future. I am trying not to freak myself out by saying that I can sense the early onset of alcholism, but I think I can. Truth hurts. It’s scary because I remember a time when one or two was all it took for me to be okay with my night. Now I want 4 or 5 and a shot.

Not only is drinking too much bad, but it is also a lot of calories and carbs that I can’t afford. A light beer is 90 cals per 12 oz bottle. I would probably have to drink 6 to be satisfied, so there goes 540 calories. And really, when trying to eat 2000 a day, I would rather not get a quarter of my cals from alcohol. Alcohol is also an impulsive splurge, and i tend to drink to get drunk most times, and at that time I don’t give a crap how many calories I am consuming. And we also all know the cravings that come along with it so at the end of the night it isn’t only 500 cals. It’s well over 1000 because I ate anything fried in my sight.

Oh, and this will also save me money, as I spent $40 last night on alcohol and debts I owed from drinking the other night.

Ugh. In fact, what I am going to start doing is putting cash in a jar for every night that I go out. Drafts here in NYC are about $6, and when I go out I probably have 3 or 4, so I would put $24 in the jar. This way I can see exaxtly how much money I am saving by not being irresponsible and just throwing money down on beer.

So, the big test will be next Saturday, as I am going to a Holiday party, where the entire purpose is to get wasted. Sadly, the party will have alcohol AND eggnog, and I am going to try to consume neither. Yikes. We’ll see how it goes, but I totally have faith in myself

I need to get my own special water cup to take places.

And final thought, I sleep like ass after a night of drinking. I don’t feel well, my head hurts, and I don’t want to talk to anyone. That really sucks. I never realize how much I love sleep until I have a night of craptasticness.

I made a support thread in the nutrition section. I hope others come speak out! http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=112295311

I have done this once before and I felt SO good! I can’t wait to feel that way again.

This morning I weighed myself (like I shouldn’t have) and I was down from 225.7 to 223.2! I can smell 220 coming, and I can’t wait so I can smash it. Then after that 210, then 200…and once I am under 200 I won’t even know what to do with myself. The smallest I ever remember being is 211 and that was about a year and half ago. My confidence was fabulous, and I loved eating well and working out. That has since changed with such a stressful career and just going through life, but I am determined to get back to that!

I have been eating very well over the past few days. I’ve been keeping my cals at around 2200, which I think I will drop down to 2000 on days that I don’t work out.  But for now, I am doing well with just eating my 2200 so I won’t start shaking things up yet.

Sometimes I love the scale and other times I want to smash it. Today I love it

So, I got quite a bit done today, health wise.

I got to my 2,200 cals for the day! Woo woo! My problem with eating is that I either blow my cals out and eat like 4,000 or I don’t eat enough and I barely scrape like 1,200. So, I was a police officer today with myself and I am determined to get my 2,200. All I have left is a shake and a super healthy muffin that I made earlier today. I was even so proud of myself that I allowed myself a 50 calorie piece of chocolate. Well, mostly because my final tally was going to be 2,155, and I needed to get to 2,200, but it still tasted rather lovely.

I have never eaten 2,200 calories cleanly before. The most I have ever done was 2,000. And y’all know how hard it is to add 200 cals of straight up good stuff without blowing your macros out of whack. I did pretty well though, so guess what I’ll be eating for the next 4 days or so? THE SAME THINGS AS TODAY.

If it ain’t broke, dont fix it.
I also did some more killer HIIT. Brutal, but it feels good to know that I am kicking my own ass.

I have lost over 60 pounds, but I still feel like the same girl I was when I was close to 300 pounds. Like, I know I weigh less and I can see how my clothes are smaller, but I have serious issues when looking at pictures. Either I feel like I should look smaller than I do (in recent pictures) or I think that I still look the same (in old pictures).

Well today I went on an overly ambitious grocery store trip, in which I bought a lot of food in hopes of not having to go back for a little bit. But, living in NYC means that I had to walk back carrying all of the stuff that I bought. I had a backpack full of soy milk (3 half gallons) and veggie broth (3 quarts), a shoulder bag filled with produce, oatmeal and rice, and in my other hand was a bag of two cartons of eggs and detergent for washing clothes.

The walk to the store is about a mile, and on the way there I was walking with ease. The walk back was ROUGH. I was SO tired! My back was sore, and my right knee was really acting funny, and all i was doing was WALKING! I have bad knees, but they haven’t hurt me while walking in a long time.

What I realized was that I added probably 30-40 pounds to my body weight, but I am no longer used to being that heavy!  So, my knee was acting up because I added more weight to my shoulders and it was having trouble supporting me. I was also walking slower because it takes more effort to move that kind of weight around as fast as I move myself around now.

Talk about motivation. I NEVER want to be that big again! I can’t believe I used to walk around with pain in my knees and shoulders like that. Now I know what it feels like to be carrying more weight than what I am now, and I hated it.

That was a free workout though! My back is going to be super sore tomorrow, I know that for sure.

I looooove moments like these! It puts everything in perspective.

So, I did HIIT with a jumprope today and I killed myself. It was awesome.

It was only 10 minutes, and I think afer a few sessions I will add another set. It was 30 secs jumping, 30 secs walking in place…which turned into a dancey side step, but I was really feeling my music.  I will slowly up to 11 min, then 12, then 13 and etc. I don’t know if I would ever go above 15 min. I may lengthen my intervals to a minute jumping a minute rest.

That is the beauty of HIIT. You can switch it up however you want to.

It has taken me a while to get used to the idea of not walking around for 45 minutes to an hour to lose weight. But, now, if I feel like doing that it’ll be a treat because I WANT to. I won’t have to schedule in 60 minutes for cardio 5 days a week. I guess I won’t know until a few weeks from now if the HIIT is paying off. I will give it until after Thanksgiving. I think that is fair.

But yeah, best part is that jump rope HIIT is free! No gym required. I can do it in my apartment, in the park, in the stairwell of my building, or anywhere I so please.

Step step is loading up on body weight exercises. I am looking at slowly stopping paying for my $80 gym membership. It’s over in December

I won’t be working out. I think that is the best decision for me. I will live without one day of cardio..well just barely.

I think the problem is that I have just started eating (for a while I wasn’t eating much with any frequency), and I have bloated up. I know its just water, but the number going up on the scale stinks!

I don’t have to do cardio! I don’t have to do cardio? Maybe the more I repeat it it’ll begin to ring true. hahaha

No to cardio, but yes to Theraflu!

I am home sick feeling like absolute crap. Mostly the problem is my stuffy/runny nose. I have heard many things about cardio when sick. I was thinking something like sitting on a bike to avoid the woozy feeling. I think that may be a stupid idea(r) and I should just use my time to get better.

But I have been doing SO well! I feel like if I take a day off that I will have to reallllllly force myself to get up and go tomorrow. Ugh. And this screws up my weight lifting schedule too.

I know this post is all jumbled, as I have a lot of stuff going on in my head now about my health (depression and otherwise). Depression sucks. I haven’t been feling too hot lately. And now I don’t feel well physically. Is it a manifestation?

Okay, well I’m off because I can feel my nose starting to run again.