sparklebear00’s BodyBlog

I don’t know what is wrong with me. I am lifting consistently, eating decently well as well as super excited about my 30 day raw challenge that begins tomorrow, and I am loving my new job…so why do I feel so bad about my body now? It’s like I am more self-conscious than ever.

I can’t seem to figure it out. Looks like I need to do some more digging within myself.

When I figure out my problem, I’ll be sure to let yall know!

Perhaps it is the change in seasons? I got pretty down when the weather changed from fall to winter, and now that it’s almost spring I suppose my mind doesn’t know what to do? I don’t know, I just need to push through it and focus on myself.

Sad - My blender broke! Anyone who knows anything about me knows that my blender is my child. Also, if you know anything about the raw food diet, you’d know that a good blender is probably the most important kitchen item you need. So, I was all poised to start my 30 days of raw….and then poor Mr. Blender died. The good news is that I have been stalking a super-blender for the past few months because I was anticipating the blender not being able to handle my abuse much longer. When my Blendtec gets here on Thursday I will be the happiest girl on earth!

Sore - I started my 5×5 program yesterday, and it kicked my butt. I love the sore feeling I get after I’ve worked out hard, and I have that today. It’s the good sore though, a sore to where I am still functional, but not so sore that I am afraid to move.

Lesson - Never ever work out hungover. I knew going into the gym that I didn’t feel too hot, but about halfway through my routine I really felt like I was going to throw up. Ugh, it was terrible. I muscled through it though (literally).

Woo woo! Hey guys! I’m back!

Well, something has finally clicked. After months of being on/off/on/off/on/off/off/off/on/off/off with my exercise and diet routine, I think I am finally ready to kick my own tushie and get this thing going again for real.

I am cleaning up my vegan lifestyle (being waaaay more strict), I am cleaning up my exercise routine (consistency!), I am cleaning up my food choices (30 day raw challenge!), I am even cleaning up my budget (wait…I budget now??), and today I am cleaning my ROOM!
Tomorrow, Sunday, march 15th begins day 1 of the 30 day raw challenge. I need to do this for myself, which actually is the only reason to ever do anything. I am sure I can do it. I stocked my fridge with fruits and veggies last night, and I am currently researching raw food options. I have done 5 days before and it worked out pretty well. 30 days will be tough, but after making it 30 days I am sure i’ll be able to do anything.
I got the job at the gym (yes!) but I am surprised at how little I actually want to exercise. I have found recently that during my lunch break I need to go to the gym down the street (same chain) to work out. I just can’t get a good workout at my job.

Anyway, long story short, things are changing for me. I am becoming a grown-up!

First  - Thank you to the bb.com team that figured out how to fix my BodyBog. I missed posting

Now, to the original post - being gymless really does suck. I am currently unemployed (if you have a job, thank your lucky stars), but seriously courting a managerial job at a big gym chain up here in the Northeast. I have made it to interview number three of three. If the guy I will be working with likes me, then I assume that I am in! His boss loved me, so I assume that matters. The best part of this whole deal - minus the security of employment - is the free gym membership! It’ll erase $80 from my monthly expenses! I had to cancel my gym membership because I just couldn’t afford to pay it. Yikes. Hopefully I get this job! *crosses fingers*

So I went out with friends tonight and had a fancy schmancy time! We went to happy hour and I has 2 pints on Guinness. Not bad. I deserved it and I worked it into my cals for the day, so I’m good. I have not had that much to drink in a while, so I need to make sure I drink plenty of water tonight.

My switch to vegan is going pretty well, and I am currently consuming all my fruits and veggies raw, in preparation for a full transition. I’m doing pretty well!

Oh, and I looooove BodyBlog!

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Alright, well i am finding that HIIT and lifting don’t go well together. I am hitting the weights harder than I ever have, so when I am done, I am TANKED! Like I’m done for real. And the same goes for HIIT. So, I suppose that it’s lifting and cardio at seperate times of the day now.

I did my 5×5 for upper body for the first time today and I was shocked on many levels. I never work shoulders (bad girl, I know) but I found that my shoulders are stronger than I ever thought they were! My military press wasn’t too bad! I kicked ass on my back, again, but my chest…ooooooh man do I have no chest strength. Which, this is what I don’t get. Even my former trainer was shocked at how strong my back was, but that I could barely do a push-up. How in the world does a person develop their back muscles so well without knowing it? Before anyone says ‘backpack’ know that I haven’t worn one in years.

My bench press was craaaaaappy, but you know what, it’ll get better. I already knew that my left bicep was significantly weaker than my right, and it help true to form today.  When they finally even out I’ll feel much better. But, once again, something that will get better in time.

The most important lesson learned today - don’t work shoulders then attempt to do dips. Key word is ‘attempt’ because you body won’t even let you get in the dip position.  My shoulders were SHOT! Good feeling though.

Tomorrow is lower body, where I feel like I pretty much reign supreme. But then again, I’m female, so my lower body is pretty much designed to be stronger than my upper body. This workout should go even faster now because I know all my weights for various exercises. Woo hoo! Even though I did no cardio, I feel like I lifted so heavy today that I didn’t need to do any cardio. I was just too damn tired for it - and besides, the gym is a 10 minute walk from my apartment anyway. Isn’t that cardio?

So, I am a 6′2 female with a large frame, and all any doctor says is that a weight between 185 and 200 is good for me.  So, I have aimed for 185 as my goal weight, which is about 30 pounds away. But, looking at my body I feel like I have more than 30 pounds of visible fat that needs to go away. I’m trying not to let this get me down, but I don’t want to reach 185 and still feel like I have so much work to do! I remember what i looked/felt like at 287, so I know that 185 will be an improvement from THAT, but it may not make me look the way I want to in my head.

I have also read several BodySpaces where women had an ideal number in their heads for their weight, and the more fit they got the less that number matted. As in, one particular woman wanted to be 160 and she thought that would be it. Well, she kept working at her body past that point and now weighs 130, far beyond her goal.

I want to be able to look past the scale, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that until after I hit 185. But I also don’t want to be cutting for the rest of my life. That is an exaggeration, but I really don’t want to still be cutting a year from now. Cutting is no fun!

Seriously though, I love this place. And, I need something to take over for my love of eggplant parmesan. BodySpace has no calories and I never feel bad after our time spent together. So, BodySpace it is!

I love logging on and reading blogs, looking and progress pictures, and observing graphs. It totally keeps me motivated because the people on this site are mostly just like me. They’re not perfect, their bodies are so-so, but they aspire to be in tip-top shape - which is whatever it means to them. Sure there is a fair share of pro bb’ers  and fitness models, but this site is majority average people trying to do better. I love that. Looking at someone else’s progress pics and reading about them stumbling and them picking up the pieces is incredible motivation. We all have to start from somewhere.
I am a smidge sore after my workout yesterday, so today was LISS and abs. I have to make abs a seperate day because that way I am forced to focus on them. I hate hate HATE working abs! Oh well. I was worried about getting bored for cardio because I was forced to stay indoors because of the rain, but when something good in on TV I can do cardio forever! I watched (and don’t laugh or judge me) the Britney Spears special on MTV and True Hollywood Story: Oprah Winfrey. Good stuff. It’s amazing what you miss when you don’t have cable. TV trash is now an amenity.

Tomorrow is upper body 5×5, and I am stoked. Upperbody means BACK! I looooove working my back!

And note to self - I thought that a wide legged stance on the leg press meant it works the hammies more, like a wide legged squat. I was wrong. It works the glues, and ohhhhh does it work the glutes.  My butt may hate me for yesterday. I’m not sure, but it doesn’t seem to be too happy right now.

Today was an awwwwesome gym day! Days like these totally energize me!

I did HIIT on the spinner bike again, and that completely kicks my ass. I’ve done HIIT before with other exercises, but there is something about standing up and peddling with incredibly high resistance that just kills me. I can only do 15 minutes now with 30 seconds on and 1 minute off, but I am going to try to work up to 20 minutes.

So, I began my 5×5 program today for something new. I am tired of counting to 8 and 10, so 5 sounds pretty good. I LOVED IT! I think that, psychologically, it is better because I am moving more weight. Well, duh, because reps are lower I will move more weight, but still. I was a squatting, deadlifting, and other various exerciseing machine!

I am going to be VERY sore tomorrow. Awesome.