A Head Case
So, we’re going to counseling today. Yes, this belle has had family woes to deal with. Teenager, husband and I…need I say more? We don’t agree, we don’t agree to disagree…we just keep fighting over issues. Yesterday’s issues, today’s issues, issues that have yet to pass! LOL…it’s felt crazy, it’s been emotionally and mentally crazy. So, here we are…counseling day.
It’s been on my mind, this internal excavation. I am trying to imagine what this counselor might ask me. What do I know about myself? I’m great! LOL. Yes, I’m stubborn, hard-headed and stong-willed….I AM a woman! Yes, I say one thing and do another or don’t do what I said at all. Again, female. What is the problem? The problem is that HE is now having a problem with what attracted him to me. If he’d get over his problem this would not be a problem. I LIKE my dysfunctional ways. Therefore we are in counseling, he needs help. "Well," she replies, "He FEELS ………" My mind wanders off, drowning her out. My internal thoughs say to me, ugh…I need to take HIS FEELINGS into consideration.
So, I’m thinking, in all seriousness….what does he want? What kind of woman does he want to be married to? What does she look like? Can I be that woman? Do I want to? I like me, just how much of me needs to be undone and redone? But while we’re here, what about him? Just thinking about sitting across someone exploring behavior and emotions, peeling back the layers, is challenging.
November 13, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Hey Belle, hang in there, it will all workout in the end, be truthful, and you can’t go wrong, life’s to short, enjoy it while you can. good luck.
November 13, 2008 at 2:41 pm
you are NOT a headcase! you are a human! Look, atleastyour married w/ kids and in therapy! i’m single, 29, just moved out of my parents house and in therapy! yeah! every freaking sat. i sit on a couch and spill my gut to a therapist!! It’s helped me alot, personally. i use to t hink i was nuts, but i’m not-i’m human and alot of times i keep things bottled in and this whole therapy thing is helpin me. she encourged me to move out and i have done just that and i feel freaking amazing! living the single life in peace and quiet! so hang in ther eand give it a chance. it’s enlightening if nothing else!
November 13, 2008 at 2:50 pm
DId some therapy myself. The secret to the couple thing is…you both have to WANT to. IF you dont, you are just looking for reasons not to participate. (Been with my better half for more than 25 years.) Good luck, Belle.