Spanishbelle’s BodyBlog

The Importance of "The List"…..

Get a piece of paper and a pen.

Ask yourself, "What do I want in life?" Make a list.

Then ask yourself, "What do I need to change or do to make these things happen?"  Make a list of these things.

Finally, ask yourself, "Where will my life be if I don’t make these changes?"

The purpose of this exercise is to show you that inactivity is something to fear.  By not taking the steps required to make your life what you want it to be, you are actually creating a life you do not want.

Remember, a life is a terrible thing to waste.

HERS:

Pulls off at wrong exit. 

Opens Window, asks for directions of a knowledgeable police officer. 

Arrives at destination presently.

HIS:

Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it’s the correct one.

Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he’s right.

Drives an extra 5 miles just in case.

Finally rolls down window just to get fresh air.

Pulls up to a 7-11.

Gets three hot-dogs, a large slurpee, and beef jerky.

Asks person behind counter how to get back onto the highway.

Gets back into car.

Laughs at the idea of looking at a map as he pulls away from the 7-11.

Drives down a dirt road with no street lights, insisting this is the way back because guy from 7-11 said it was.

Almost hits deer.

Curses the night.

Curses you.

Curses the large slurpee.

Drives and fiddles with radio.

Yells at you for suggesting the map again.

Admits he didn’t want to go to Thanksgiving at your sister’s anyway.

He hates your sister, ever since she called him a pernicious weasel.

He had to look up pernicious.

Couldn’t find a dictionary.

Couldn’t spell pernicious.

Seethes at the memory of it all

But she is laughing inside…..

And of course, you’re still lost!

Well, I’ve come to find out why some trainers are not so fit…..being in the gym training people can wear your ass down!  Well, maybe not wear it down but most certainly wear it out.  I was calling my exercise dry spell a ‘trainer’s slump’ until my fellow co-worker corrected me and told me I’m sufferring from GYM FEVER.  Once I’m done training a client, I am out of there and don’t have the desire to head back and work on my own ass!  What is a girl to do?  I tried my size zeros on this weekend…hello!  Not pretty.  I think I might, believe it or not, hire a trainer to keep me accountable.  Just kidding.  I can’t stand the thought of someone telling me what to do.  I have, however, called in some friends to work out with me and they will be helping me get back on track.  Believe me, I need it!

Does being a man and being penetrated make you gay?  Can it be, is it…simply, that black and white?

A girlfriend of mine and I were visiting, talking about friends, when she said to me, "I have a story to tell."  Her friends, have been married for years, a couple of kids.  Now, he’s all man.  Military, big guy.  One day he says to his wife, "How about some back action."  So she said to him, what I imagine most women say to their men, "I’ll do it if you do it."  He agreed.  They had their toy and she was going first.  "It hurt." she told my girlfriend.  "But I took it like a champion and somewhere during the act he was slapping my ass…saying, "come on b*&$h."  She was laughing.  Then, it was his turn.  "Girlfriend, I got the lube and had maybe an inch in there and he was jumping…oh! ouch! ah! and I was slapping his ass, saying "come on b*&%h…you can take it." 

And so I wonder, kinky bastard?  The act is gay, but he’s not gay?  Straight man with gay tendencies?  Borderline gay?  Personally, I think, KINKY bastard.  One thing I know for sure….KINKY WIFE!

Nine and a half inches.

If I had a vagina I’d sit on everything.

My dipstick needs lipstick.

Remember my name, you’ll be screaming it later.

Does this T-shirt make my tits look big?

FEAR MY VAGINA

I saved a horse

My boyfriend is out of town.

Nymphomaniac

You need a spanking

Best female performance

Flavor of the month

You’ve been naughty…go to my room.

I feel a sin coming on

Guess where I’m pierced?

WANTED:  Meaningful overnight relationship

I am only two girls shy of a threesome