In a song & a nutshell…
Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008He hadn’t crossed my mind in quite some time. But as the song played, our old song, it took me back, back to yester-year. Okay, many years! Back into a special place, a moment in time which has long since passed. However, the memory of him, us, the we we used to be came to the forefront of my mind. An old ghost, rising shadows swaying and twirling like smoke, slowly, vanishing into the air.
I’d just turned 21, both of us in marriages that were, well, not in a good place. I was of legal age to go to a bar, and your darn right, I was going…Mama Don’t Get Dressed Up For Nothing. I wore a pair of tight white rockies, boots, a white shirt, belt and hat. My Citation with no AC made it into town. I was so freaking poor! Hell, it hurts to even think about it. A single Moma, no child support and yet making too much money for any of the amenities handed out by the government. Yes, I felt Much Too Young To Feel …. The door to the bar looked heavy. I gave it a hard, hard push. It swung wide open and thumped against the wall. I walked in. My vision was blurred from the bright sun outside and the dark hazy smoke filled bar did not help matters. The entire place went silent. I stood there, all eyes on me, I stared back. I’m sure the silence was a matter of seconds, but at that moment it felt like a lifetime. A crazy cowboy jumped out of nowhere and said, "Wheeewww-wee! What cloud did you fall off of angel? You beautiful, gorgeous thing." The silence broke. I sat at the bar. Bob bought me a beer with a membership and across the bar sat My Next Broken Heart.
He followed me to a dancing club. I danced with many guys, he watched. As I made my way to the bar for another beer he intercepted me, grabbing my arm. I gave him a questioning, alarmed look. "I’m going to marry you…." he said. I swear to you, the moment he said those words I saw a red light flashing behind him. I’m thinking, looking back now, it was a warning sign and I did not run. "From the looks of it, you’re already married." I replied, as I took his left hand in mine and raised an eyebrow in an inquizative manner. I had no idea who he was or what he was about. He told me he was the maintenance man. To which I said he must of of been screwing the owner because he was very well dressed. He laughed. We ended up in his family’s hotel that night. A small detail I was to learn later on. Many times afterwards we discussed the night we met. He said he watched me walk to my car and I never looked back. Yes, I had wondered if he was looking and I’m so darn glad I didn’t look back!
That Summer turned out to be one hot summer and I convinced myself that he could Rope the Moon. He was a mistake I made on again, off again, on again, for a period of 3 to 4 years. Slow learner. Jon Secada’s CD became OUR CD and was replaced by the tune of Garth Brook’s song, The Dance. Time Marches On though, and our Little Ways began eating away at us. We both started walking around with Suspicious Minds. Sometime during the holiday’s I decided to Let that Pony Run leaving him to the tune of Brooks & Dunn, You’re Gonna Miss Me When I’m Gone. The Chill of An Early Fall continued for quite some time. I repaired alright, went to my favorite bar and hung out with some Friends in Low Places getting a little drunk to his memory under a Neon Moon. His falling in love and like with people, it was an Easy Come, Easy Go thing for him. So, imagine my surprise when he called, six to seven months later wanting a reconciliation. But you see, this Baby had Gotten Good at Good-byes by then and I Found Someone (my future husband) and that Brooks & Dunn song, You’re Gonna Miss Me ….it stuck. Every now and then though a song gets me Reminising and in the end, I thank God for Unanswered Prayers!
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