Give a guy a break!
When did calling someone “sweetie” or “honey” or “sweatheart” become such an offense? A girlfriend of mine called me the other day bristling. Her boss calling her “sweetie” prompted the call. She’s a doctor and wants to be treated as an equal. According to her, he does not address other male doctors in such a manner. A man calling her “sweetie” irks her. When Obama made a ‘honey’ or ’sweetie’ comment to a co-worker or reporter the media ran with it and he had to explain himself saying he was not being condescending. It was so obvious he was not being condescending when the interaction was replayed, yet he was questioned. Seriously, I find it a bit skewed. We flinch at being called a bitch and flinch at being called sweetie. Then there are some of us who are more comfortable with being called a bitch instead of sweetie. Hmmm…
When did opening a door for a woman become unwelcomed? I witnessed a man open a door for a woman and she refused to go inside the building. She went in after she opened the door herself. I also witnessed a man opening a door for a woman and she walked right on in without looking at him or giving him a “thank you.”
When did pulling a chair out for a woman become an issue of control? I heard this woman say, “Are you trying to tell me where to sit?”
It’s no wonder when you run into the “confused” man. One who does not know whether to open doors, pull out chairs, or one who just doesn’t try to do so anymore. It’s a bitch of a double-standard though. You see a woman with a flat tire or car issues on the side of the road and I don’t care how big of a feminist you are, the first thing that woman wants is for someone to come to the rescue. More times than not, it’s going to be some man. And while your at it, go ahead and call her “SWEETIE” and tell her where she needs to stand so she won’t be in the way! LOL. Give a guy a break!
September 19, 2008 at 8:56 am
Ain’t that the truth. PREACH!
September 19, 2008 at 8:57 am
Amen sister! I am all for feminism, but geesh, can a gentleman still be allowed to be one without being disrespected or look down as week!
No wonder the good guys are going extinct!
September 19, 2008 at 8:59 am
LOL, awesome blog note sweetie. You know what and this is just my opinion and I don’t speak for every man. But my father raised me to treat a woman with respect and dignity. That meant pulling out chairs, opening doors and giving her my coat if she was cold. If a woman get offended by that, I promise her this, it will be the last time I ever did it for her and the last time she would see me. I am all for equality, but when it comes to pet names or courtesy, if it is done in a respectful way, just enjoy that a man today is doing that for you because not all men will.
September 19, 2008 at 9:03 am
Thanks for that Belle. I live in London and can’t tell you how many times I have done something like held the door or let a woman go first through an entrance/exit and she either said nothing or looked at me like I just spat in her face. It really turns me off doing simple things like that. I don`t need to be thanked but a simple acknowledgment would be cool once in awhile. I’m 6′9" and black, which in some situations may intimidate a woman, like late at night or something, but its just a weird thing to have a woman look at you with disdain when doing her a courtesy. She`s a woman and deserves it, but the attitude sucks.
September 19, 2008 at 9:04 am
lol I can only say this. I have been a a lot of dates in the past. No girls ever gave me a problem when i opened the door for them. I had 1 girl give me grief when i ordered for her (after i asked her what she wanted) On average most girls took these actions as sweet and consideriate. I know who you are talking about with the being pissy about being called sweetie. I’ll tell ya what though if the girls at work were calling me hot stuff or something i would complain in the slightest. I just think girls are trying to hit to hard on equal opportunity and its a load of bull. Girls get just good as jobs as men and they get complimented all the time and take offense to it.
September 19, 2008 at 9:09 am
As in all types of language uses….there is a time and a place for it. Most women in a professional atmosphere do not want to be spoken to that way…whether it be in a meeting or in front of client….she is made to feel like she’s losing her "edge" as a equal professional. In a casual setting it shouldn’t be a big deal…..and can actually be taken as a complement, most of the time.
Good manners….should always be welcome. I can’t help but feel good when someone holds a door open for me. It’s a shame when those courtesy’s are no longer seen as a complement. Don’t stop guys….there are still women out there that truly appreciate the effort…