It’s your job…..
Story one:
It all started with a dead roach on his side of the bed. As I noticed it and came closer for inspection I mindlessly grabbed a paper towel to pick it up. I paused midway, convinced he had also seen it. He more than likely stepped over it and left it there. What did this mean, I asked myself. Am I responsible for picking up the roach? So, I left the little bastard where it RIP smack center in the pathway to and from my husband’s side of the bed. Day two rolls around, the roach is still there. I vacuum around it. Day three, the roach is becoming an eyesore on my white carpet. Day four, the little bastard is crushed. My husband stepped on it and left it as is. Later on that night my husband says to me, "I noticed you haven’t picked up that roach. Is it our new decor?" I laugh. "Funny you should mention that. I noticed it’s on your side of the bed and you’ve crushed the little bastard, you haven’t picked it up either." "It’s your job!" he exclaims. So I asked, "How so? I stay home, I’m a housewife and I have roach responsibilites? Where is that written? Is it an automatic invisibile-unsaid given?" I got a yes. "I see" I responded. I could tell he had made up his mind, no need to argue, the roach spent another night on the carpet. The next morning I took the little bastard, walked into our closet and put it in the pocket of my husband’s business suit. I picked the damn thing up, what I was suppose to do with it up to me, right? He found the roach later, freaked! LOL. He’s never put it together and I’ve never confessed.
Story two:
My husband hollared at me one day, "There’s no toilet paper in our bathroom." His ass sitting on the pot. I fetched him a roll, handing it over to him. I wondered if he thought it was also my responsibility to replenish the toilet paper. The following time the toilet paper ran out, I tended to my business and took the toilet paper and put it back in the cabinet. This went on for a while. Same thing would happen, I’d get the "no toilet paper" hollar. I was getting very tired of going in there and handing him a roll under such smelly conditions. "Listen" I said one day when I had had enough, "has it ever occured to you that you CAN replace the toilet paper roll? I will not hold it against you. The way I see it, you have an ass too. You’re ass is bigger than my ass. You go to the bathroom more frequently than I do. I’m inclined to believe your bigger more productive ass uses more toilet paper than I do." He laughs. "This is not a coincidence, I’ve been testing your ass. Literally! If I was to see a sprinkler head broken I’m not waiting for you to come back into town to fix it. I’m going to tend to it and you should have the same consideration."
Days went by and I noticed, no toilet paper replacement in the bathroom. He wasn’t hollaring so, I was not going to question the situation. One night, he complains his ass is a little stingy. I question why and he confesses, "I’ve been using your vagina wipes." "My wipes have witch hazel in them, I’m guessing your ass is not appreciating that. Let me take a look." I make my way to his netherlands, "OH MY GOD!" He’s freaks "What?" We make eye contact, "You now have a pussy." We both laugh. I don’t know about him, really. We do, however, both replace the toilet paper.
May 25, 2008 at 9:39 am
It was written a long time ago: "Men will kill all bugs and dispose of them, whenever, where ever, by whomever, and at anytime they are discovered alive or dead, inside or out." This I know to be true….The TP issue I believe is still out to jury.
May 28, 2008 at 12:00 pm
I have a question… who’s job is it to put the seat down / or up for that mattert… I need it up she needs it down. Is is really my job to make sure the seat is down. I mean how hard is it to LOOK down? I look down. I don’t assume that the seat is up and just start doing my business and why can’t she put it up for me?