Spanishbelle’s BodyBlog

Sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home, a man wanted her to see what he went through, so he prayed.

“Dear Lord,

Every day I go to work and put in eight hours while my wife merely stays at home.  I would like her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day.  Amen.”

God, in HIS infinite wisdom, granted the man’s wish.

The following morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.  He got out of bed, cooked breakfast for his wife, woke the children up, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning took it to the cleaners, stopped at the bank to make a deposit, did the grocery shopping, drove home to put the groceries away, cooked dinner, washed dishes, paid bills, balanced the checkbook and put the kids to bed.  In all, he did about a million errands throughout the day.

By 9PM, he was exhausted.  Although his daily chores weren’t finished, he went to bed where he was asked to make love.  As worn out as he was, he obliged and got through it without complaining.

When he awoke the next morning, he immediately knelt by the bed and prayed:

“Lord,

I don’t know what I was thinking.  I was so wrong to envy my wife being able to stay home all day.  Please, please, let us trade back.  Amen.”

The Lord, in HIS infinite wisdom, replied:

“My son,

I see you have learned your lesson.  You will have to wait nine months though.  Last night, you got pregnant.” 

I hit the gym again today. Fed up with this whole yawning thing during my workout, I decided to take some N.O. Explode.  Well let me just tell you, I got a little more of an "explode" than I was barganing for!

I noticed after taking N.O. Explode I was bloated like a poisoned pup.  I hit my workout and did not yawn, not once, through it.  All was going well unti I got to my cardio.  Interval training was on my agenda at high speed.  It was the most uncomfortable run ever.  The N.O. Explode stopped the yawning but gave me some serious gas.  Can I just say, running at a high speed and squeezing your ass cheeks together not to let one rip was grueling.  There were a couple of times where I had to pause, start all over again to keep the "exploding" situation contained.  Seriously, I had a neighbor next to me and I just didn know!  Sound or no sound….stench or no stench. There were a couple of times where I thought, "just let it rip" other people have done so and I’ve freaking suffered through it!  But hell, I just couldn’t.  I squeezed for freaking dear life!  I completed the darn run and by the end of it my stomach was in pain!  The gassy situation has been resolved (LOL) but I must say, I’ll pass on the EXPLODE  and take the yawning for now. 

Well, I did have that beer, cleaned up the house, made it to the gym and chilled. 

Moving on.  Cutie-Pie is getting braver and braver, now I’m getting winks and he makes it a point to go out of his way to make sure I see him.  It’s cute, but I don’t know…still keeping his distance.  If he made it a point to make sure I knew he was leaving or waited for me in the parking lot I’d be concerned. 

I think we all hit some kind of wall during training of any kind.  Speaking for myself, I’ve noticed I hit a "work-out" wall three weeks into any work-out.  Three weeks into a program I take a couple of weeks off and get back to it.  I’ve made it a goal to work through this three week stumble.  I’m only two days into it, so far, so good….LOL.  I had a groin injury shortly after I posted my last pics.  The injury came during around three weeks into my workout program, during my usual crash so, it worked out.  I stayed out of the gym a week longer than my norm due to my groin not being healed up.  Having said that, now that I’m back to it things are not looking pretty.  My weight climbed up to 105.  Two pounds on this short body gives me a muffin top (YUK) and puts me in the next size of clothes.  Getting back to it has not been easy, my motivation is nowhere to be found.  I have actually been yawning through some workouts!  YAWNING!  WTF!  Does it mean I’m tired?  Does it mean I’m not eating enough?  I have a willing attitude but the body is not cooperating.  Hell, I have to go back to the drawing board on that one.  I want a good pump and be able to work up a good sweat!  Lately, going to the gym is like having sex without an orgasm….what’s the point!

This entire math crap has me in a foul disposition.  It has been time consuming, grueling, getting in the way of fitness and I’ve had it.  Truth is, I just don’t give a sh*$ about math.  I don’t care about lines, graphs and x-y equals what, when and why.  Digging down a little deeper, it really riles me to realize I do the work necessary and f*&k the test up royally.  The night before the exam I draw a blank just thinking about it.  During the exam, well I am just f*#ked.  I choke on tests, on math tests.  Hmmm….something I’ve been in denial of, much easier to be in denial then handle the situation, but it’s not working.  What ever happened to that one canny ability I used to have?  There was once a time where I had this great skill of being able to separate my emotions from the task at hand.  (Emotion being I hate math.  Task being I do get it done.  Emotion being I hate the thought of the exam, resent it and therefore I draw a blank.)  Getting it done was my motto and with that in mind, liking the task or the people would be nice, but it was not necessary and irrelevant.  It was a gift to be able to do this, growing up with the ass$#*s I grew up with, dealing with the the ones I had to work with.  I’m frustrated to say the least, feeling challenged and dumb…why can’t I get this fu*#ing math!  Oh yeah, I don’t like it and I’m really stuck there.

What else is bothering me today?  Well, the house is a war zone and the office is a wreck.  I have errands to run and the damn dog took a crap in the kids room and she’s pissed all over my carpets.  She’s getting old, she’s a sweet dog but I’ve run out of patience and I don’t like her.  Although I’m aware I have other stuff to do, I am so skewed over this I can’t get going.  I don’t want to clean house, I don’t want to tend to paperwork, I don’t want to run errands, I don’t want to go shopping, I don’t want to exercise and I don’t want to have sex.  I would like to cry over this frustration but that would (in my mind) be accepting defeat and although I am feeling defeated I am not consenting to defeat.  Besides, I hate to cry.  Used to be, during times of such high frustration I’d have me a beer with a good old country song, but it just doesn’t have the same appeal it used to.  What does that mean?  I’m getting old?  Boring?  Growing-up?  Besides, I’m not in the mood to go and get the beer, if it would walk it’s ass to me now I might drink it!  LOL.

I am trying (believe it or not) to find my happy place right now, create it and I’m failing miserably.  I say to myself, there are more important things going on in the world, this pales in comparison.  But, I don’t want to think of God or Jesus, famin or war and what have you….it’s just what it is and where I am at, skewed.  I have, however, a total of 5 hours to get my s*#t together, for the sake of my boys and my husband.  There is no need for my men to come home to a violent cross-eyed wife and mother.  I don’t want to start cleaning the house when the boys get home, at that point it’s all "mommy, mommy, mommy" and it will be a breaking point for me, all hell could break lose.  Although I am skewed, I am skewed and contained.  I realize part of my frustration is that math final coming up, but at the moment due to my disposition I am not ready to deal with that, but I can’t be in denial of it, I’ll put it to the side and pick it up later.  I must come up with a specific date because "later" is not a day of the week and I might put it off inevitably and resort to my favorite motto of all time…"f8#k it."  So, come Sunday I’ll deal with the final. 

Needless to say, I’m still a little pissy, but I’m about to walk my ass to my beer, play an old country song and start cleaning house.  Although it does not have the same appeal, it’s better than sitting here and stewing in my own heap of sh*t in my own stink.

HER DIARY

Sunday night – I thought he was acting weird.  We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink.  I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.

Conversation wasn’t flowing so I suggested we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent.

I asked him what was wrong – he said, “Nothing.”

I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.  He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving.

I can’t explain his behavior. I don’t know why he didn’t say, “I love you too.”

When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.  He just sat there and watched TV, he seemed distant and absent.

Finally I decided to go to bed.  About 10 minutes later he came to bed and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else.

I  could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him and the situation but he had fallen asleep.

I started crying and cried until I feel asleep.

I don’t know what to do.  I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.

My life is a disaster.

If it appears I haven’t been spending much time of BB.com, well, you’re right. I took a job.  I decided to start training people and I’ve been going through orientation, fundamentals and all that jazz.  It’s been interesting to say the least.  I got my training certification back in October then headed off to China and have been laying low with it.  I figure, the little man is 9, my oldest 16 and I was thinking I might as well get myself going in some direction, mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. 

A couple of things I don’t like, this whole solicitation thing on the gym floor.  Some people like to call it "sales" to me it feels like a solicitation, that’s just the way my twisted mind works. 

It’s been a juggling act to say the least.  There’s soccer and baseball practice, end of season wrestling parties, summer plans and math is almost done but not exactly.  I’m ready to take that off my plate!  I guess the biggest adjustment of all is having the husband and family adjust.  For example, I have a teenager at home at the moment, he’s not feeling well due to allergies.  However, I have to report for work at 10:00.  I’m giving him 5 more minutes, drama time up and time for his ass to get school and mine to get to work!  That seems to be the new thing, looking at my watch and saying, "I’ve got 10 minutes for your drama and you’ve got 10 minutes to get yourself together."  It’s been amusing to say the least.

Once upon a time there was this sparrow who began to fly south for the winter.  On his way a huge thunderstorm rolled in.  The cold rain collected on his wings, ice began to form, freezing him and so he fell to the ground.  There he was, shivering, miserable and aware he was facing his death when all of sudden along comes a cow and takes a dump on him.  "This is great." he thought, "I’m freezing to death and this cow just took a dump on me."  But the manure was nice and warm and began to thaw him out.  He was happy and figured he had a chance to live so he began to sing.  Then, out of nowhere comes a cat, digs him out and eats him. 

The moral of the story:

1.  Not everyone who takes a sh#t on you is necessarily your enemy….

2.  Not everyone who takes you out of sh*t is necessarily your friend…

3.  If you’re warm and you’re happy, just keep your big mouth shut!

Made it to the gym this morning, first thing at 5:00 a.m.  Got cardio out of the way along with leg extensions, leg curls and calf raises.  I didn’t finish my entire workout, it was time to head home and wake up my boys and get them going.  So, I had to make a second run to the gym this afternoon and finish off my workout.  A couple of things, I didn’t want to, but I did.  As I approached the Leg Press machine, I noticed it was loaded with three 45 pound plates on each side.  A look of disgust crossed my face, but I proceeded to unrack the weight.  Then I noticed Mr. Cutie Pie approaching.  The cute shy guy who after many months we’ve exchanged the peace sign from a distance, head nods and a smile here and there.  I’ve mentioned him before a while back.  He begins to take the weight off without saying a word.  So I ask him, “Is this your work?”  Thinking it might have been and he feels obligated to unrack it.  He laughs and responds it is not.  He says, “I thought you were going to press this weight.”  I laughed and said, “I thought about it, but I’m not in the mood.”  We both laughed.  I wondered, would he ask my name.  He didn’t.  I thanked him and he went about his business.  I figure, I bitch when weight is left on the machine.  So, I also figure, might as well tell you someone went out of their way to unrack the weight for me. 

I’ve been hitting the gym with a girlfriend.  She’s been talking about working out for quite some time.  I don’t mind working out with someone once in a while.  She called me up and suggested we have some sushi after our workout.  She has lost 15 pounds and wanted to celebrate, her treat. 

After our workout we made our way to the showers.  I wasn’t long into my shower when she hollars saying she forgot her body wash.  She came into my shower and I handed the bottle of my Neutrogena body wash to her.  The wet bottle slipped out of her hand bouncing off the blue-gray tiled floor.  She bent over to pick it up, on her way up she moved a little closer to me…we’re friends though, no big deal.  She stood there, staring at my nakedness not making eye contact and not saying a word.  It happened in what seemed like slow motion, reaching out to touch my breast.  Gently kneading and massaging it, slowly running her right thumb across my right nipple.  I can’t tell you what I was thinking, there was this separation of my mind from my body or maybe my body was ruling my mind.   I can tell you I watched.   Her hands were small, soft and gentle and felt so different from a man.  My body was wet and sudsy and the running of her thumb in slow circles was erotic.  Her mouth made it’s way to my twin.  Her lips barely touching me, teasing.  I began to wonder, my senses finally coming back to me and the reality of the situation finally settling in, was this cheating?  What would my husband say?  I was in the shower, naked with another woman, it was sexual.  I was aroused, curious, amused and intrigued.   It felt shameful, it felt good, but it was what it was.  I watched as she made her way from my breasts down the center of my chest to my belly button.  I couldn’t help but wonder, how far would she go?  How far would I let her?  I smiled to myself, it was just too crazy to even go there….btw……….APRIL FOOLS.