Jumping through hoops
I’ve started off with the best intentions and isn’t it just the case….shit happens. First, I guess I was overtraining. I was too restless to sleep and so I cut back, cardio, intensity, everything. I’m now sleeping like a baby. I can’t stay awake to save my soul, especially a day after a good workout, I need atleast two hours of additional sleep. There is always something that comes up and tempts you to not make that trip to the gym or stops you from reaching your goals, those external and internal intangible and tangible factors. That damn scale always throws a wrench in things for me. I must let go of that number…100. If I work out, I can’t hold on to that weight. If I stop working out getting to that weight is easy. I remember growing up the lowest number on the scale was the factor to take pride in. I saw my mother do it, her sisters do it, my cousins, and so on. Never mind they were 100 pounds of mush and flab, it was always about the number. A personal trainer in the gym asked me if I weighed 120 the other day. WTF! He was at a loss for words when I told him what I weighed and another lady came by and agreed with him saying I looked about 120. I racked those weights back up, took a walk and came back and hit the weights a little harder. It’s one of those things where you’ve been conditioned for so long in that manner it’s very difficult to keep it in perspective. It’s one of those things where change doesn’t come fast enough, or the changes that do come are not what you envisioned and once again it’s difficult to keep things in perspective. Come to think of it, it’s not about those weights you push in the gym, it comes down to those heavy thoughts taking place in that small place between your ears.
