Spanishbelle’s BodyBlog

I’m leaning up with all this running I’ve been doing.  Losing a couple of inches here and there and only one miserable pound.  I’m 14 days into it and have covered a total of 45.5 miles in that time.  The long runs are a bear.  I have a 10 mile run this weekend, last long run before the race.  The upside, I’m back in my SKINNY jeans!  Those darn things would go up my thighs and that was it.  However, here is the BUTT of all buts, things are not hanging the way I’d like them to be.  I wonder when I’ll arrive at that moment.  The moment where I look in the mirror and say to myself, "damn, you look good."  I wonder when I’ll take a compliment given without that little voice in my head saying to me…"yeah, but…." and it so kindly points out all the flaws and what nots.  Every once in a while the critic in me of me will look up my pics and agree with that little voice in my head!  LOL.  It’s a small bump in the road I say to myself.  Keep running, keep working out, keep showing up, put in your time, just keep at it.  And for now….DON’T LOOK IN THE MIRROR!

I don’t know about you, but lately, there have been some pictures on this site that have made me go “hmmm” leaving me a tad bit perplexed and contemplating about all that is said and unsaid.  So, what’s with all the kitty shots lately?  Maybe it’s the weather.  Couped up inside the house feeling a tad bit caged and needing to vent a little something, something.  I wonder about the girls that post such a shot.  I can’t help but think, maybe they are very proud of their good girl and want you to know about it.  If so, you go girl.  Another thought comes to mind here, could be she’s a little troublemaker and feeling a little naughty.  You know, the whole shock and see thing, that’s fun too.  Last thought that comes to mind, maybe she just wants to be popular with the boys.  A small backstroke into high school, but it works.  And what about that one pic where he’s holding her boobs and crotch?  Now, I can’t tell you whether or not she had good muscle definition…all I noticed was his hand on her tits and crotch.  I did stare at it for quite some time, what was I looking for?  Now, I’m not picking on anyone here, I’m just wondering, what’s going on in that little head of yours?  LOL.

What is the deal with people working out with their phone right next to them at the gym?  And yes, they answer that damn phone.  It’s not a quick chat either.  Some guy was looking at himself in the mirror while he was exercising his mouth, a good 20 minutes plus.  I wanted that darn bench he was warming up!  I don’t understand, I just don’t think it’s that important and if it is, hell…go to Starbucks, sit your ass down and leave the bench to those who are there to work on their ass and not their mouths! 

Last year I signed up with Luke’s Locker and trained all summer for the 1/2 marathon held in November.  Training was going fantastic.  I started off with the running and about six weeks later I joined LA Fitness and began pushing some weights.  Everything was going as planned.  I was in great shape, better than I am now.  About a month before the race I tore my calf.  Unfortunately, it did not heal before the race.  Once again I joined Luke’s Locker this year.  There’s been many setbacks.  My surgery, a couple of trips, a quad injury and the whole catabolic thing.  So, yesterday I did what any person with a competitive spirit would do, I registered for the the 1/2 marathon in December.  This race has been on my mind.  I can only run 6.2 miles right now (I’m halfway there) and only have 22 days before the race.  Have you ever set out to do something and for some reason or another you just didn’t get there?  That becomes an old skeleton in the closet, rattling, taunting and haunting.  I’m showing up for that race, I won’t be the first to cross that finish line, I won’t be the last, but I will be one of the few that does. 

Just got off the phone with my girlfriend.  A gut wrenching 45 minute conversation.  We broke up.  I told her I needed some space.  I’ve been taking the space to begin with, not returning calls or making calls, avoiding the confrontation.  Ever since that night she drank at my house and verbally berated me, I just haven’t felt the same.  It’s not the first time it’s happened, alcohol or no alcohol involved.  I never said to her my feelings are hurt after the offenses and I ask myself if it was necessary to say so since she did find herself apologizing.  I never said "don’t apologize" during those times, I acknowledged and accepted the apology.  Problem is, no change came about.  I think an apology is a sorry ass attempt (excuse) to make your sorry ass feel better.  Think of a situation where someone apologized to you, did you automatically feel better?  I always say to my husband, "don’t apologize, change your jackass behavior."  However, his apology is necessary in order for me to say these words to him.  If he doesn’t apologize, that becomes an issue.  LOL! I didn’t say it was easy to live with me either!  This is an "a-ha" moment for me, his "acknowledgment" of the fact that he hurt my feelings.  So, from now on I’ll say, "Thank you for acknowledging my feelings, now, change your jackass behavior."  LOL.  

Now, back to the girlfriend.  There’s a lack of something here and I’m not sure what word or concept it is involving our own personal individual beings and our relationship.  I’m sure sometime in your life you’ve heard, "oh….we are such good friends.  we can talk about anything and everything, say whatever to each other and it doesn’t matter."  So not true.  This brings me to the L words, LOVE and LIKE.  I believe the word "LIKE" is seriously underrated.  Think about your spouse or best-friend, what attracted you about them?  First, your liked them.  You liked their way of being, their physical being….you liked them.  Sometimes this leads to love and sometimes it doesn’t.  How much fun is it to hang around someone you don’t like?  Or be married to them?  Ever heard someone say…"I love her man, I just can’t live with her."  Hence, "I don’t like her anymore."  I love my girlfriend, we’ll get over this, I just don’t like her very much right now.

A cowboy walks into a bar, and two steps in he realizes it’s a gay bar. “What the heck,” he says to him, “I really want a drink.” When the gay bartender approaches, he says to the cowboy, “What’s the name of your willy?”The cowboy says, “Look, I’m not into any of that. All I want is a drink” The bartender says, “I’m sorry but I can’t serve you until you tell me the name of your willy. Mine for instance is called NIKE, for the slogan,’ Just Do It.’ That guy down at the end of the bar calls his SNICKERS, because ‘It really Satisfies.’”

The cowboy looks dumbfounded, so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over. So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer, “Hey bud, what’s the name of yours?”

The man looks back and says with a smile, “TIMEX.” The thirsty cowboy asks, “Why Timex?” The fella proudly replies,”Cause it takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin!’”

A little shaken, the cowboy turns to the two fellas on his right who just happen to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, “So, what do you guys call yours?” The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims, “FORD,because Quality is Job One. ” Then he adds, “Have you driven a Ford lately?” The guy next to him then says, “I call mine CHEVY…..’Like a Rock!’” and gives a wink!

Even more shaken, the Cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his manhood. Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, “The name of my willy is SECRET. Now give me a beer.”

The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled look asks,” Why Secret?”

The cowboy says, “Because it’s ‘STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!”
 

I can’t believe the holidays are around the corner.  Usually around this time of year a clock starts ticking in my head.  It’s a countdown to the many things that need to get done.  Food, shopping, decorations, Christmas cards, reservations, Christmas lists, parties and let’s not forget…putting on your "it’s so nice to see you, things are wonderful" face.  Part of the reason so many people live in a state of drunken stupor or gorge themselves on the holiday food and treats during this season.  Yep, keep that mouth busy and suppress what is really on your mind and just add it to your wallet and your waistline!  I wonder, how I’m going to handle the "stress" of the holidays this year?  It happens around this time, doesn’t it?  We lose our focus and our hard work, be it three months, two weeks, or a year falls to the wayside.  So, in the spirit of the holiday’s I’ve decided to come up with some survival tricks…here goes…

1.  Have a conversation with the sinful food of your desire. 

Example:  To:  Gooey Butter Cake… 

I’d like to eat you.  But, you will go straight to my ass, thighs and gut, which you are not welcomed at.  This would not be an issue if you went to my tits or biceps…but no, you do not compromise.  So, I will smell you…and I will lick you…but I will not eat you.

2.  Employ the Twinkie Factor

Look up the calories of the sinful food of your desire and commit to burning off those exact amount of calories on the treadmill.  Don’t bullshit yourself and your waistline won’t have a chance to bullshit you. 

3.  Make a list of the sinful foods of your desire and give yourself a Christmas PASS and do eat this food on CHRISTMAS DAY only.  Not every day leading to Christmas and continued through New Year’s, just that particular day. 

4.  Empower yourself.  If you eat 6 meals a day, bump up your caloric intake by so many calories per meal and give yourself a strategic allowance.  Also, #4 and #5 go hand in hand, so if you employ #4 you must employ #5.

5.  MORE SEX.

To ward off some of those extra calories in #4, have MORE sex.  Talk to your spouse and inform them you’d like to have sex six times a day after every meal, (meaning, eat lightly, you don’t want to be overloaded and not be able to perform and no bed necessary!)  Have him/her keep you accountable.  Negotiate the details here.  Chances are your spouse might consider anything and everything that goes into your mouth a meal, so DO NOT PICK AT YOUR FOOD.  Put your food on a plate and sit your ass down to eat!

6.  Rule out seconds and third helpings.

7.  Team up with a friend.  A notorious bitcher at that and get ready for a bitch session.  Agree you will serve each other’s penance and bitch.  Example:  they ate the gooey butter, both of you are on the treadmill and you are doing their time…you’re time to bitch?  Or is it their time to bitch? 

8.  Bring in your FRENEMY

Save that piece of cake or pie for them.  "I was thinking about you and I brought you this piece of cake.  YOU are going to love it, it is out of this world." Don’t forget to smile.

9.  Create a GOODY Bowl

Put in every single sinful food of your desire in your bowl.  The bowl can be as big as you’d like, no restrictions.  At the end of the day, pick out the one item you must have and release the rest to the general family.

10.  Your special small plate.

Only eat on this plate.  Carry it with you and if you lose this plate, you are screwed!

The moral of the story is, don’t give your power away.  You are not POWERLESS here.  Food is a good thing, you deal with it every day and it cannot jump up and shove itself in your mouth for you to carry on your ass, thighs or gut.  So focus, focus on the body you want to be in and give that thought some feeling.  Visualize yourself in those skinny jeans, visualize yourself lean and cut…how does that feel?  Better than any piece of cake you can ever eat!  

Hello!  Back from China.  What can I say other than it was quite an experience.  I’m still suffering from the jetlag.  It’s the reason I’m up right now and have been up all night, nights and days are mixed up. 

Let me tell you about the trip.  The flight was a good 14 hours.  That’s not including the the flight from home to Lax and the 3 hour layover at the airport.  Once we arrived in Shanghai we had a 2 hour drive to Tongxiang.  The reception was warm, dinner was late and cold but the food went down well.  We stayed in Tongxiang for 6 days.  During that time we attended two dancing shows.  Both were held outside and took way too long and in weather that was quite windy and cold.  We had a couple of tour guides that knew nothing about the sites we visted and knew plenty about the Shanghai shopping market, the silk market and the leather market.  In Tongxiang rice was not served at every meal, a preconceived notion that was quickly dismissed.  The main mode of transportation was a bike which can explain why I didn’t see any fat people.  Aside from a bike, people got around on mopeds and motorcycles, some cars and the buses were for the tourists.  As for the driving, signs, traffic lights and traffic lanes were a mere suggestion.  Not once did I see an officer of any kind handing out traffic violations.  Last but not least, pedestrians most certainly did not have the right of way.  I tried just about everything they brought out to eat.  About four days into the trip, they brought the big guns out.  Stuff with claws, hatched eggs, some kind of liver and what have you…I passed.  We did meet some couples willing to experience it up from Florida.  We had a couple of massages while being there.  A full body massage for an hour and 1/2 cost an astounding $7.00.  It was okay.  There was a big buzz about a foot massage involving fish.  Yes, I tried it.  My husband and I along with our new friends submerged our feet in a bathwater full of little fish that would eat the dead skin off your feet.  Don’t ask me what kind or what happened to the fish afterwards, don’t know.  What I do know is that it was anything but relaxing and I was in a complete hysterical laugh for a good 20 minutes.  There was this one fish, I swear it was a barracuda, that kept biting on my ankle.  My feet were much softer the next day, but let me say…no need to do that again.  Supposedly the hotel was a 5 star hotel.  Take into consideration, 5 star according to Chinese standards.  The bed was a solid as a rock.  I’ve come to the conclusion it is a form of birth control.  There was no gym in the hotel.  There was a pool, which we were never led to and was "closed" and there was a tennis court with no net.  A group of Canadians did take a morning run at 5:00 a.m.  As for me, the bed was kicking my ass…I passed on the running.  We left Tongxiang for Shanghai early in the morning a couple of days later.  We were delayed at the airport for the entire day and arrived in Beijing around 7 or so at night.

Our tour guide in Beijing was a dream.  Betty was knowledgeable about her city, the sights and had so much history to offer.  The food was good, the peking duck was delicious.  You cannot go to China and say you went to China without trying their peking duck dish.  We strolled many historican sites, Tian’An Men Sq., The Temple of Heaven, The Forbidden City, The Seventeen-Arch Bridge, The Summer Palace, the Olympic Stadium and last but not least, The Great Wall.  My husband and I climbed The Great Wall.  It was quite a site at the top, the mountains, the fog, the cool air…many, many people.  We heard many stories along the way about these historical sites.  Some quick facts here, there are 15 million people in Beijing and 9 million bikes.  In more traditional times boys are preferred over girls.  Not much has changed in that aspect.  It’s such a contradictory concept when you take their culture into consideration.  It’s all about balance, the Ying and Yang of everthing in life representing mountains and water, how you can’t have one without the other.  I asked our guide where the balance was in that, no ying or yang there.  She did not appreciate that comment.  Much of their culture is based on superstition.  The number 9 representing power, 4 being an unlucky number.  Depending on which ancient structure one visited, there was a block at the entrance of the doorway which had to be stepped over.  In ancient history, the Chinese believed evil spirits were short, so these barriers were built to ward off the spirits and they were also a symbol of wealth.  The most interesting of all, to my husband and myself was the history of the Forbidden City.  Back in ancient times, Emperors not only had a wife but many concubines.  In the event the wife did not conceive a son, a concubine’s son would step in and take the Emperors place.  One Emperor had as many as 2500 concubines at one time.  The men that tended to the concubines were eunuch which were known as "keeper of the bed" because these castrated men guarded the royal harems. 

We always started our day early in the morning and ended the day a little on the late side.  I did work out one day in the hotel, I was beat by the end of the day and decided just to enjoy the time there.  It took us 24 hours to get back home.  We arrived early enough to pick up the boys, love on the 8 year old and roasted the 16 year old for throwing a party while we were gone.  LOL.  Yeah, we left on Thursday and he pulled his party deal on Friday.

Oh, as for the Emperor who had 2500 concubines, he died at the age of 29.  Maybe you’d say he died a happy man…who knows.  What I do know…too much of a good thing, is not good for you!