Spanishbelle’s BodyBlog

the risk of breast cancer in women. 

Read the caption of the the article my hubby brought home to me last night.   His eyes beaming with delight, I continued to read and it read as follows…..

Women who perform the act of fellatio and swallow semen on a regular basis, one to two times a week, may reduce their risk of breast cancer by up to 40 percent, a North Carolina State University study found….. http://www.tatom.org/documents/CNN.com-StudyNewstudyshows.htm

Quite a lengthy article.  I figured I’d come across a punchline or something, maybe it was written on April Fools day.  It never happened.  Seriously, I thought.  I would have loved to be part of the study, as an "observer" of course.  Where do they find these people to participate in such studies?  I’m sure the study was run by men.  So last night guess who and what I found waiting up for me.  It’s for my own good I was told.  "Forget ordering stuff from bb.com.  My stuff is all protein, low carb, fat free and it fights cancer," says my husband beaming like a brand new diamond ring.  "Hmmm…well I think I’ll wait until someone comes out with a topical version of your magical potion, okay?"  LOL….he knew I’d come up with something. 

It’s been an interesting week.  Challenging, eye-opening, I’ve worked through some bad habits.  It’s a bear having to work through your own personal demons that hinder progress.  I was way tempted last night to eat some hot fries.  I like them!  But, I’m not where I think I can afford it yet.  This week, I managed to get out of bed at 6 to head out to the gym and get my cardio out of the way.  Ideal situation for me, get the cardio done first thing in the morning and hit the weights later on that afternoon.  I was successful a couple of days in doing so.  I’ve been to the gym every day and served my time doing cardio for an hour.  I did not do any weight training yesterday, I ran out of time after my cardio.  I had my hair done, ran some errands, was out and about then it was Mom and family time.  My goal is to do better next week. 

Something about yesterday hit home for me.  The tightness of my jeans.  How uncomfortable I felt.  My extra insulation on my belly and the way it spilleth over my jeans.  My blouse, tight, clingy and it’s not suppose to be.  I looked around during my son’s first wrestling tournament of the season, I was in good company.  Hell, I can even say I’m fit compared to the majority in there.  But you know, it’s not my thing to compare myself to others in order to justify and make myself feel better.  Might work for some, but somehow it fails me.  I can’t help but think, its a cop out.  It matters who we measure ourselves up to.  Measure up, not down…aspire, don’t settle and for goodness gracious Belle, stop bitching and start sweating.

A shift started for me yesterday at the tournment.  I didn’t get up this morning at 5:00 a.m. for my run.  However, I got my cardio in at 9 a.m.  I headed back to the gym around three for a back and arm workout.  As for the diet, no problem.  On this hump day I came up with a new mantra……I’m working for results.   

You know how you have YO-YO dieters?  Well, if I could put a term to it, I would be a YO-YO exerciser!  My own on-again, off-again yo-yo cycle of exercising is driving me nuts.  How the hell is my body suppose to do what I want it to when I don’t do what I need to?  And yet again, I can’t help be disappointed when it doesn’t.  It’s quite comical when I give it some serious thought.  Belle, what’s the deal I ask myself.  I’m pissed really, what happened to my freaking 20’s when I had 4% bodyfat after my first child and I ate everything and did nothing to maintain what I had?  If I could only get my booty up and out of bed in the morning and get my run in…life would be much simpler!  I stayed under the covers though and you know, once that time is gone you just don’t get it back.  On a serious note, I realize it’s nothing beyond me…I’ve done it before, I can do it again, the diet the exercise.  What gives?  I have to say the circumstances around me are wearing me thin and I take myself off the "to do" list and tend to something else/someone else or in extreme circumstances…..NO ONE ELSE.  Yeah, you don’t want to be around in the last case scenario! 

I did make it to the gym yesterday.  I got a shoulder workout in, feeling a little tight and sore today and I served 30 minutes on the Stairmaster.  No eye candy, it really sucks when that’s the case but a great sweat none-the-less. 

During my day, minding my diet, no problem.  As night begins to fall, something happens.  What is it about the fridge, my dark chocolate covered almonds, cookies and what have you that come alive at night?  It’s a horror story, haunting me.  I’m not sure how this ghost of night time eating has resurrected itself…again, but it has!  I would like to think I have the will power to keep these cravings and desires at bay, but last night…I indulged, once again.   240 caloreis, 16 grams of fat, 20g of carbs and 4 g. of protein.  Damn!

It’s not that I don’t know any better!  Isn’t it funny how you know better but you just don’t do better?  What I’ve come to find out is that everyone has some kind of ghost haunting them, or a monkey of some kind on their back.  The thing is, it could be a phase or a way of life.  And, once you’ve picked your poison it could be for a short-term or a life sentence.  As my ghost has laid itself to rest with this mornings sunrise and I stare at my dark chocolate covered almonds, no temptation whatsoever to indulge in their sinful sweetness, I wonder…WHY!!! 

So, for those of you who are haunted in the same manner, I have no solution!  I might detox, sweat it out in a corner, thrashing wilding like an ex-addict.  Maybe I’ll exercise a little, do some push-ups, work up a sweat and earn the chocolate covered almonds.  Maybe I’ll pick another posion, sex with hubby.  Sex instead of food.  Hmmm….wonder if he’d go for it.  I’m at a loss at the moment and it’s hours before night falls again…I’ve got time! 

Here’s the thing about being a parent, it never ends.  You don’t get a day off!  There is always something.  I say to myself, these are busy times and their days are numbered.  One day, kids will be grown, girlfriends, graduations, weddings will be over with then come the grandkids.  So, I’m mindful to enjoy and bitch when no one is around or to girlfriends that share the same sentiment!  LOL. 

It’s been a week since I stepped into a gym.  I’ve been busy with family, my twenty year reunion and school.  It’s been fun, stressful, demanding!  I am missing the gym!  I miss the work-outs.  Do I start on Monday?  Do I start back today?  Do I want to be sore during the weekend? Yeah, that part, I do not miss. 

Not much going on.  I’ve been working out, hard and heavy.  Tomorrow is leg day, love it, hate it and it’s necessary.  I’ve grown my legs an inch, I’ve lost some bf, no weight loss though.  I’ve had to improvise my cardio.  My left ankle gave me hell after a 5 mile run earlier this week, I was limping around like a fool, my cardio came to an end.  I tried the Stairmaster yesterday, but atfter 15 minutes my ankle protested.  I called it over, nursed myself.  I hit the Precor machine today, ankle was okay, I worked up a good sweat.  I changed my back workout, working with cables.  I started doing cable pull-downs standing up vs. sitting down on a lat pull down machine.  Having to balance yourself while doing so is grueling and quite involved.  You really have to engage your core, be mindful of your stance and stay true to form.  It takes quite a bit of concentration, mind and muscle connection, it worked for me.  My back was sore last night and today my soreness is off the charts.  I’ll be back at it tomorrow.  Some good muscle definition and mass coming on, I’m just not leaning out.  I’m doing better with my eating, I guess I just need to be a tad bit more patient.  On the bright side, at least I haven’t gained!

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.

“Mother, where do babies come from?”

The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.”

The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend.

“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”

“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

I stressed my neck today on the leg press machine.  Darn it hurts!  My workout was good, leg day.  Hard and heavy, I hate it, I love it.  It wears me out.  The gym was full of eye candy.  Male hard candy.  Hubby pissed me off before I headed to the gym so I was looking.  I look all the time but this time it crossed my mind that I miss those days.  Casual, fun with nothing but the moment at hand and no other expectations or concerns.  Easy come and a much easier go.  I worked out harder, inspired by the eye candy, pissed due to hubby, in the end it keeps me honest and it brings stuff along, it’s all a win. 

I’ve decided to get my cardio in first thing in the morning when I train legs.  Cardio after leg training makes for one long and much too hard session at the gym.  I ran this morning at 5:30, 3.5 miles.  I was pressed for time, did the best I could.  I’m finally sweating in that little space where my leg and ass meets, I am so excited!  I’m not where I want to be but most certainly headed in that direction. 

Why is it where you want to get rid of junk the most and soonest it just happens to be the last, very last to go?  That darn area from a little below my waist to my thighs…OMG!  It’s caught in a time warp.  There is a name for it you know, it’s called a Momma ass.  I happened to come across a trainer describing his client’s tush to another trainer.  I found it comical at the time simply because I did not suffer from such a condition.  But now, he’d be in danger!  LOL.  Catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror at the gym yesterday just pissed me off.  Freaking thighs rubbing together, gluteal fold crap.  It keeps me going, but I can’t say it’s a positive experience since the results I want are not coming along where I want them to. 

Moving along, hard workout and busy workout yesterday.  Trained shoulders and arms.  I skipped Tuesday’s workout due to my lack of sleep.  My cardio plans consisted of a 5 mile run but about 2 1/2 miles into it my ankle started bothering me.  I paused a couple of times to see if it’d pass but it didn’t so I called it over at 2 1/2 miles.