Lisa’s Body Blog

Not an awesome dinner but the work out was good. Did the Terrain mode on the treadmill at 3.6. Said I burned 325 cals. I don’t believe that but hey, it’s something. Stretching was great. I’m glad I went.

Yesterday I stepped into a coworkers office to pick up a few mini Hersheys and actually had them in my hand and thought, no, this isnt going to help you reach your goal! and put them down. I’m proud of myself for that. One small victory.

Today, bowl of cereal for bfast, was in a hurry because I was trying to get to work early to make up some hours. Had a granola (Chewy) at 10 or so and am starving now at Noon. Lunch is an Asian beef and veg Lean Cuisine. Smells pretty good actually. Looking at the portion size is a real wake up call. I have a small tomato and mozz sammich for later, as well as an apple. I love apples. Probably do a chicken salad or rice and turkey brats for dinner.

Planning to do cardio again today, then abs. Maybe 35 or 40 minutes. Still cant get the comptuer to recognize the ipod. Will work on it this weekend.

Weird day. Not ideal. But I’ll focus on what was good: I got to the gym. Did cardio. Big deal for me because I totally hate it. Then did "a little of everything" weight work out, because my buddy was feeling sluggish but still wanted to do it (kind of). She feels about weights the way I feel about cardio. It’s a good balance for us. Then we stretched. Still, we were there for an hour and a half so I’m surprised it took that long. I will get her some work out sheets so we can start trackng our lifting stats.

Food was ok but I had the late night binge again.

It’s disgusting outside. 88% humidity.

Today, my back hurts like hell. It’s becuase I sat all weekend and didn’t move. I get all slouchy. Also my hips hurt, same reason. No headaches today but had a little one last night that I ignored at bed time. Had trouble getting going this morning. I felt exhausted again. I chalk that up to diet/exercise, tho I could try kicking the dog out of the bedroom for a night and see if that helps. I read that people don’t sleep as restfully with the dog in the room. Allergy congestion in my chest. Needing to use the Flonase daily right now. I don’t have nearly the emotional energy I had 1 week ago. In fact today, I just feel sluggish and depressed.

Wonderful how someone with an eating disorder can be set off by one worthless comment to a blog. I’ve been trying very hard to get my eating under control and just began to lose, and this weekend it all went to shit, because someone posted a comment here that was critical and unnecessary. The last thing someone with an ED needs is to hear criticism about how she eats, especially when she’s doing well.

So this weekend I ate high fat chinese food, ice cream, donuts and candy. **** that commenter. I felt like shit all weekend, I didn’t do anything. I couldn’t even motivate myself to go to the gym.

So today, I start over again, and have to take off the weight I put on during my binge. I felt lonely and unwanted. Guilty about not taking the dog out for a hike even though I wanted to. I wanted to go to the gym but didn’t. I sat around all 3 days and ate and played video games.

I don’t always eat ideally (aka clean diet) but right now I cannot do that. Just cutting down sugar and binge urges is the goal. I know during the week I don’t eat enough. On the weekends I binge. It’s a structure thing. My weekends have no structure. I like that, but it’s also not good for my eating. I like playing video games. But I also like working out, and being outdoors. I have problems making keeping commitments.

I dont post to my blog as a public entertainment service, nor am I ever searching for feedback or attention with my posts. If I wanted that, I’d go to the forums. This blog is for my use only, to serve as a record of what I’m doing.

To that end, I do not need encouragement and I do not need critique. Again, if that’s something I wanted, I’d seek it out.

Therefore I have disabled comments on the blog.

Food: wheat bagel and strawberry cream cheese, 1 heart of romaine lettuce with newman’s own caesar and some garlic crutons, fuji apple…

Health: Hip is feeling a bit better today. I’m convinced it’s from lack of movement. No headache. Got good sleep but was still exhausted when I woke up.

Gym: Planning to do upperbody today.

Walked treadmill for less than 30 min, then stretched. We did legs and some upper. Hip is feeling a little better than before; working out helps.

Skipped breakfast due to lack of time unfortuately. Ate lunch at noon, a lean cuisine panini and an apple at 2. Was hungry at 5, so had an enchilada LC at home, but was still hungry, so had wheat bagel with strawberry cream cheese.

Ready to drink a lot of water and maybe have a salad.

Worked out last night. Jogged a bit. Did more upperbody with my friend. I’m actually not sore from that, but my left hip hurts like hell. This morning I also have a headache, probably from how I slept (neck hurts), and I’m tired as hell but getting through it.

Actually had little interest in gaming last night. Wanted to watch movies and play with the dog. And go to bed at a decent hour. I’m really behind on sleep so I’m sure that’s why I’m dragging so much. I had one good week where I got to bed by 11 and felt great all week.

I weighed this morning because I feel I’ve had more control over food this week, and it showed. Was down 2.5 lbs from the last time I weighed about 2 or 3 weeks ago. Considered its only been 1 week since I started eating better, I’m pleased. I’ve been eating frozen dinners for dinner and it helps a ton with portion control. Night is when I tend to eat a lot.