Buffy Buffington gets Buffer

I am down to the wire in my 40+ group challenge…standards are high, diet is STRICT, workouts are intense.  But, in all honesty, it’s the diet I’ve concerned myself with the most.  Especially, getting enough protein.  It is not easy, and I stumble and make mistakes here and there, but I can tell you, without a doubt, that I am seeing DAILY improvement in my physique.  So, when people tell you "abs are made in the kitchen" and "it’s ALL ABOUT the diet", listen.  Believe.  My pics will be up within 2 weeks.  The proof is always in the pics.  True story.

I have seriously been considering what to write about in my blog since Friday.   A lot of ideas have come and gone now.  So here I am, just rambling.  I guess my conundrum is that there has been nothing "exciting" to write about.  My cut is going great, as I am down 3.5 pounds in just over 5 weeks, so I know I am doing it right.  I see and feel myself leaning out, and my muscles are "popping".   It really is amazing what the human body is capable of!  I am sometimes in awe at how my body changes overnight and then, bam, NOTHING for days.

I am constanting considering and reconsidering what my goal is and why.  Is it shallow, superficial and vain to say that I am working so hard, spending so much time in the gym, monitoring my diet so closely all with the goal of having people look at me and say, "Holy sh*t, that chick looks amazing!  She is obviously dedicated and has worked very hard to get that rockin’ bod!"  Boy, it’s hard to read that!  But is there more to it?  Is there something else that I am working towards?

I’ve had people at the gym ask me if I am looking to compete, some saying "you’re right there", calling me "the real deal", asking about my workouts and diet, etc.  I always answer "Nope.  I don’t think the rigors of pre-competition diet/training are for me.  Plus, I’m not really a competitive person."  You see, I understand why people decide to compete in bodybuilding, figure/fitness, I just don’t get HOW they do it.  The preparation phase just seems to anti-healthy, anti-fitness, anti-balanced diet, anti, anti, anti….I just can’t wrap my head around it.  And THEN there’s the infamous post-competition phase that I’ve read and heard can be a miserable, mentally "screwy" time due to weight gain, mood swings, loss of motivation, etc.  Why, on earth, would I desire that????  Why would anyone? 

Is it the same reason I work out and aspire to a beautiful, feminine, strong, muscular physique, as I stated above?  So that others will look at them and say, "Damn, that chick looks amazing!  She has worked so hard, her symmetry is perfection…" and then hand them a check for such a miniscule amount that you know they are not doing it for the MONEY!

I am not complaining, only sharing my innermost thoughts and trying to figure it all out.  I do know that when, and if, that morning comes when I wake up, stumble to the bathroom, turn on the light, and look at myself in the mirror and think "Oh, my God, my body is EXACTLY where I want it to be.  It is as perfect as it can ever be and I’ve achieved my wildest dream!", I will continue over to my laid-out gym clothes, sleepily pull ‘em on, and get my perfect "apple bottom" to the gym.  So I guess that’s why I do it, and what I will always do.  It’s now a part of my "everyday", it’s what I do, and it’s who I am.  My name is Brooke and I workout hard, and I am very strict with my diet, and it is worth it to me, and THAT makes ME happy.

That’s really it, isn’t it?  I do this with no absolute goal in mind, but as long as it makes ME happy, I’m gonna keep on doin’ it!

Ramble done, my friends.  Thanks for listening.  And keep doing what makes YOU happy!

Well, I quit the keto diet not long after starting it (stuck it out for about 3 weeks).  It just didn’t feel right for me.  Went back to my normal semi-clean diet and my progress once again stalled.  After some very valuable input from Kimm and Freebirdmac, I’ve undertaken a cut to lose the last bits of stubborn fat that remain.  I’m currently incorporating HIIT 2-3 days a week (makes me want to hurl, but I LOVE it), doing a 3-day lifting split, and I’m trying 1,700 cals per day (clean, clean, clean calories) with 50p/25c/25f.  It’s been a week and I am DEFINITELY leaning out.  I’m down 1 pound, which is GREAT!  I do not want to lose any of my hard-earned muscle, so slow and steady wins this fat-loss race.  I’m still adjusting my macros, and have hit my macro goals only 1 day, dead on.  It’s the fats that are getting me.  I love my nuts and peanut butter, but I have to keep them on the down low to hit my 25% fat goal.  I’m getting there though and I know this is going to work.  In 4 weeks, I’ll reassess and see if I need to change my macro percentages a bit, or lower my cals by about a 100 or so…I’m feeling positive and excited.  It’s just such a long road and a constant struggle to get things just right.  I know that what is right for me now may not be right for me in a month or two.  I’m really realizing just how much of a journey this lifestyle is.  It’s a lot of hard work and I really, really respect all the competitors out there who are able to deal with all the challenges and set-backs that come with this lifestyle!  Soon, I’m going to take some progress pics.  I’m nervous to see them, but I know it will put everything in perspective and it’ll help me zero in on the areas that still need tweaking.