The Rambler
I have seriously been considering what to write about in my blog since Friday. A lot of ideas have come and gone now. So here I am, just rambling. I guess my conundrum is that there has been nothing "exciting" to write about. My cut is going great, as I am down 3.5 pounds in just over 5 weeks, so I know I am doing it right. I see and feel myself leaning out, and my muscles are "popping". It really is amazing what the human body is capable of! I am sometimes in awe at how my body changes overnight and then, bam, NOTHING for days.
I am constanting considering and reconsidering what my goal is and why. Is it shallow, superficial and vain to say that I am working so hard, spending so much time in the gym, monitoring my diet so closely all with the goal of having people look at me and say, "Holy sh*t, that chick looks amazing! She is obviously dedicated and has worked very hard to get that rockin’ bod!" Boy, it’s hard to read that! But is there more to it? Is there something else that I am working towards?
I’ve had people at the gym ask me if I am looking to compete, some saying "you’re right there", calling me "the real deal", asking about my workouts and diet, etc. I always answer "Nope. I don’t think the rigors of pre-competition diet/training are for me. Plus, I’m not really a competitive person." You see, I understand why people decide to compete in bodybuilding, figure/fitness, I just don’t get HOW they do it. The preparation phase just seems to anti-healthy, anti-fitness, anti-balanced diet, anti, anti, anti….I just can’t wrap my head around it. And THEN there’s the infamous post-competition phase that I’ve read and heard can be a miserable, mentally "screwy" time due to weight gain, mood swings, loss of motivation, etc. Why, on earth, would I desire that???? Why would anyone?
Is it the same reason I work out and aspire to a beautiful, feminine, strong, muscular physique, as I stated above? So that others will look at them and say, "Damn, that chick looks amazing! She has worked so hard, her symmetry is perfection…" and then hand them a check for such a miniscule amount that you know they are not doing it for the MONEY!
I am not complaining, only sharing my innermost thoughts and trying to figure it all out. I do know that when, and if, that morning comes when I wake up, stumble to the bathroom, turn on the light, and look at myself in the mirror and think "Oh, my God, my body is EXACTLY where I want it to be. It is as perfect as it can ever be and I’ve achieved my wildest dream!", I will continue over to my laid-out gym clothes, sleepily pull ‘em on, and get my perfect "apple bottom" to the gym. So I guess that’s why I do it, and what I will always do. It’s now a part of my "everyday", it’s what I do, and it’s who I am. My name is Brooke and I workout hard, and I am very strict with my diet, and it is worth it to me, and THAT makes ME happy.
That’s really it, isn’t it? I do this with no absolute goal in mind, but as long as it makes ME happy, I’m gonna keep on doin’ it!
Ramble done, my friends. Thanks for listening. And keep doing what makes YOU happy!
February 25, 2009 at 9:54 am
Well Brooke, once you start rambling you really say a lot.
You said near the end that you do this without a goal but I disagree. Your goal is to be fit, strong and able to take what ever life has to throw at you. It also doesn’t hurt to look your best while your at it.
I also don’t think it is shallow or vain to want that hard work recognized. That is simply a natural human instinct.
We could all just sit around eating crappy diets and looking like blobs but that will leave us feeling depressed and still longing for someone to notice us anyways.
When I look at how far you have come since ‘05, it is easy to say "that chick has worked very hard to get that rockin’ bod!"
Keep on rockin the weights and inspiring others to either change too or just improve some more.
In the end all of the above will make you happy.