Buffy Buffington gets Buffer

I have seriously been considering what to write about in my blog since Friday.   A lot of ideas have come and gone now.  So here I am, just rambling.  I guess my conundrum is that there has been nothing "exciting" to write about.  My cut is going great, as I am down 3.5 pounds in just over 5 weeks, so I know I am doing it right.  I see and feel myself leaning out, and my muscles are "popping".   It really is amazing what the human body is capable of!  I am sometimes in awe at how my body changes overnight and then, bam, NOTHING for days.

I am constanting considering and reconsidering what my goal is and why.  Is it shallow, superficial and vain to say that I am working so hard, spending so much time in the gym, monitoring my diet so closely all with the goal of having people look at me and say, "Holy sh*t, that chick looks amazing!  She is obviously dedicated and has worked very hard to get that rockin’ bod!"  Boy, it’s hard to read that!  But is there more to it?  Is there something else that I am working towards?

I’ve had people at the gym ask me if I am looking to compete, some saying "you’re right there", calling me "the real deal", asking about my workouts and diet, etc.  I always answer "Nope.  I don’t think the rigors of pre-competition diet/training are for me.  Plus, I’m not really a competitive person."  You see, I understand why people decide to compete in bodybuilding, figure/fitness, I just don’t get HOW they do it.  The preparation phase just seems to anti-healthy, anti-fitness, anti-balanced diet, anti, anti, anti….I just can’t wrap my head around it.  And THEN there’s the infamous post-competition phase that I’ve read and heard can be a miserable, mentally "screwy" time due to weight gain, mood swings, loss of motivation, etc.  Why, on earth, would I desire that????  Why would anyone? 

Is it the same reason I work out and aspire to a beautiful, feminine, strong, muscular physique, as I stated above?  So that others will look at them and say, "Damn, that chick looks amazing!  She has worked so hard, her symmetry is perfection…" and then hand them a check for such a miniscule amount that you know they are not doing it for the MONEY!

I am not complaining, only sharing my innermost thoughts and trying to figure it all out.  I do know that when, and if, that morning comes when I wake up, stumble to the bathroom, turn on the light, and look at myself in the mirror and think "Oh, my God, my body is EXACTLY where I want it to be.  It is as perfect as it can ever be and I’ve achieved my wildest dream!", I will continue over to my laid-out gym clothes, sleepily pull ‘em on, and get my perfect "apple bottom" to the gym.  So I guess that’s why I do it, and what I will always do.  It’s now a part of my "everyday", it’s what I do, and it’s who I am.  My name is Brooke and I workout hard, and I am very strict with my diet, and it is worth it to me, and THAT makes ME happy.

That’s really it, isn’t it?  I do this with no absolute goal in mind, but as long as it makes ME happy, I’m gonna keep on doin’ it!

Ramble done, my friends.  Thanks for listening.  And keep doing what makes YOU happy!

It’s been one of those great weeks, my friends!  My diet has been spot on, my workouts have been strong, and my life brings me joy!  We all go through fits-n-starts, do we not?  Days and/or weeks that just SUCK, and we wonder why we even bother striving for something that sometimes either seems unattainable or not really worth the effort.  When I look at everything I do, personally, to achieve the goals I desire, I think, "GIRL, YOU’RE CRAZY!

 I used to be a "junk food junkie".  There weren’t many fast food joints I would drive past; rather I would "drive thru" and pick up a Big Smack with a side of trans fats.  How did I get from there to where I am today?  It’s not that I don’t desire or crave that fast food anymore, ’cause I do!, my mindset if just…..different.  I don’t think about the immediate "buzz" I will get from that food, instead, I think about how it will effect my body tomorrow and the next day.  Will my abs "pop", my biceps "peak", and my quads "sweep" tomorrow if I have the Big Smack today?  Is it a "sacrifice" to NOT hit that drive thru?

I no longer can answer that question "Yes!"  Is it will-power, dedication, motivation, hindsight, vision, perfectionism, confidence, or strength that allow me to drive past that "drive thru" and not feel the pang (or pain) of loss, of "missing out" somehow?

I’m not sure what it is.  I think, in general, it’s that what I’m striving for is so much bigger than the minutiae of those moments of pleasure borne by consuming that junk.  Do I still enjoy a "treat" now and again?  Yes.  Do I experience guilt for it?  No. 

This week has been an epiphany for me.  I AM motivated, and I feel strong and proud of the decisions that I have to make each and every minute of every day to achieve the results I am seeking.  When I reach those goals, what will I do?  I’m really not sure and, at times, it scares me.  But life experience tells me that I will set new goals, make new decisions and continue on this path that I have chosen….or has it chosen me?

This is who I am, what I do, these are the decisions that I gladly make, and each and every day is a new beginning.  NEVER a sacrifice.  Stay motivated, my friends!!

P.S.  I can’t promise that next week will be a "great" one, but I can promise that I will learn something about who I am and what "sacrifices" I am willing to make to reach my goals.  I continuously learn that it IS worth it and I am proud of the choices I make each day!

To be honest, I’m not really sure why I’m posting today.  So far, it’s a good week, but it’s only Monday, so who knows what the rest of the week holds?  I had a weird workout this morning.  I workout at a gym about 10 minutes from home.  My husband and I drive to the gym together, but workout separately.  See, I workout MUCH harder than my husband.  He has become complacent and believes, mistakenly, I OFTEN point out, that at 49 years young, his physique peaked back in his 30s (before I knew him, unfortunately).  Therefore, he does his thing and I do mine.  This morning, I found myself wide awake at 5 a.m. and, knowing that hubby would have to sleep til the last minute before we headed to the gym, I got up and went about my morning routine:  brush teeth, hair in pony tail, don cute gym outfit I laid out the night before, feed and water The Pug, start the coffee (it was scheduled to go off about 45 minutes later), prepare pre-workout drink (White Flood aka nitric oxide), prepare workout drink (Purple Wraath - bcaas), take The Pug outside…yada, blah, yada…I decided that today, since I usually sip my N.O. and still have some remaining by the time we arrive at the gym, I had the time and would consume the entire 16.9 oz before I even had my coffee.  To put it bluntly, I slammed that bitch!  I was thinking to myself, "This is going to be a KICK ASS workout.  I finally finished all my White Flood BEFORE my workout!"  Well, as the morning progressed, my husband awoke (after my yelling at him that he had to get up, as usual - I’m a morning person, HE’S NOT) and I moved on to my coffee.  To put it mildly, by the time we were settled in the car on our way to "my kickass workout", my stomach started to rebel and I felt the tingling and shakiness start to set in.  I was "hepped up" on N.O. + caffeine and my guts were NOT taking it well.

I pushed through the nausea, started my warmup on the elliptical and thought, "Huh, maybe I’m feeling better.  I’m all good…"  As I walked over to grab my DBs for my walking lunges, my knees felt a little wobbly, but I had scheduled a leg day, and dammitalltoheck, I was going to DO MY LEG WORKOUT!!  I huffed and puffed my DBs over to my "lunge route" between the recumbent bikes and ellipticals, and set out for my first set.  I swear to you that within about 5 reps my heartrate was up to AT LEAST 145, and by the time I finished my 24 reps (the first 12 performed with a "pulse"), was AT LEAST 160!  Now, I don’t wear a HRM, but I KNOW my heartrate - I’ve been doing this a long time.  I felt queasy, shaky and SOOOOOOO winded - it was AWFUL, I tell ya, JUST EFFIN AWFUL!  But I HAD TO CONTINUE.  THIS WAS MY KICKASS LEG WORKOUT and by goodness sake, I was going to get ‘er done!  I continued on, completing:

 Walking lunges, 4 x 24 x 50lbs

SLDL, 3 x 15 x 95lbs

Split squats, 3 x 12 x 30lbs

Ham curls on stability ball, 3 x 15

1-leg standing calf raises, 2 x 15 per leg

45 nauseating/heart-wrenching minutes later, I WAS DONE and I HAD SURVIVED, but a lot worse for the wear.  At one point during my workout, I almost gagged when I took a sip of Purple Wraath and switched to straight H2O. The thought of now ingesting protein powder and egg whites was just sheer nauseating…  As my husband and I drove home, kvetching about our respective workouts (he did legs too, but, God forbid, would never consider lunges - they’re for girls), I was simply "spent".  As the morning progressed, my queasiness subsided and became a pounding headache instead, which then subsided (after ibuprofen), and returned to nausea.  By about Noon today, I was feeling good as new and I felt the first signs of DOMs setting in in my glutes, quads and calves. 

 I HAD DONE IT!!  I had survived my "kickass leg workout" and I was going to have killer DOMs to prove it.  As I write this, it is exactly 12 hours since I was in the middle of my walking lunge sets this morning, and my glutes are "yipping" at me.

Lesson learned and a word to the wise:  N.O. IS helpful and it does energize you, but don’t "slam" it, my friends!  Sip it and enjoy it and have your own "kickass workout" tomorrow!