smorgan1227’s BodyBlog

I got your attention.  I don’t mean literally naked.  I have come to learn that bb.com is like a family to me.  I don’t have to always put my best foot forward.  I can be chubby, with no makeup and I still feel the love.  This is a real place to let it all hang out for me.

It is scarey to post a public picture of yourself in a bathing suit at your worst, but it is also healing.  Now that we all know how bad it got, let’s work together to make it better.

It is much like coming home from work. The first thing I do is take off my shoes and work clothes.  I wash my face, and put my hair in a pony tail.  I find the grungiest most comfortable clothes I own and relax…

bb.com is like family.  I can be me.  I suppose that is because I am not a model, or a woman looking for a man.  I can experience the complete freedom that comes with being real.

I like encouraging other women by allowing them to see me natural.  Every dimple and wrinkle. As women, we look a the magazines and compare ourselves to the images.  Now, while the models are beautiful women, none of them are flawless.  They are touched up with perfect lighting.  The pictures are a work of art.  Many pictures are taken to get that perfect one picture.

So, what I feel comfortable with is the naked truth.  It is the truth that helps me to become better.  Seeing myself through rose colored glasses brings mediocrity. Seeing myself for what is real helps me to set goals and effectively change.

It all started last Friday.  I went to lunch with "the girls"  The kind of lunch that usually last well into the night because everyone starts to drink and just hang out.  I had already decided before I went that I didn’t want to talk about diet and exercise, or my muscles, etc.  God forbid people just leave me alone.  Sure enough, as soon as we finish ordering food (mine was ordered, without cheese, sause, croutons, etc.) the conversation focused on me and how crazy I was.  It started to make me mad.  Of course I was also the only person without a mixed drink or glass of wine.  Then, the one person at the table who had not yet asked me to email my diet to them said, "Can you email me your diet, I want to try it."  I was so fed up by that point that these horrible words came out of my mouth, "Why should I email it to you.  I have emailed it to everyone I know and nobody has actually tried it.  Frankly I am getting tired of it".  Ohhhh, does that sound catty or what?  As soon as I said it I regreted it.  Thank God this particular friend has thick skin, she laughed and handed me a piece of paper with her email and said "what the hell could one more person hurt then".

Monday I am having lunch with this friend to create an eating plan.  Then we are going to go grocery shopping.  I guess being catty made me feel bad and I am going the extra mile with her.  I hope she follows through.  I would love to have a friend close who is committed to eating clean and being healthy.  Wish me luck!!!  And pray that I have a forgiving heart when she falls off the wagon. lol….

I was asked today for the eating clean diet that Jamie had originally given me.  As I was exchanging the information I realized I have gotten off track.  I am eating way more than I should.  I am going to get strict with the original plan again.  Let’s see what happens now.

In our family we play this little game.  You read your fortune cookie then you have to add the words "In Bed" to the end.  I am not sure if any of you have played this game.  I actually learned it in one of my past jobs.  My boss would make us all do it.  It could kill ya at times.  Anyways, the one I had today was a GREAT bodybuilding advice but horrible to end with the words "IN BED".

The way to get to the top is to get off your bottom……..in bed…. haha….

My brother will be the photographer for this event.  I will assisting Mike at this event the weekend of October 24-26.  Watch the attached video.   If you are anywhere near the  Los Angeles Area I challenge you to take part in this show.  Even if you do not win it could possibly be the best investment of your career.

http://www.clarkbartram.com/video/fitness-model-international

I have come to the moment in my physical journey when I have to really engage my brain.  Not that I haven’t already.  To be completely honest, that is the greatest joy that comes from bb.com.  There are so many educational articles.  You really can learn all that you want to know on any health subject.

So, you may wonder what I am talking about.  Well, it is time for me to take a good long educated look at what I have been eating and doing.  I need to figure out what needs to be changed in order for my body to respond the way I want.  I am still carrying too much fat.  I guess I have to admit that I am an easy gainer.  I gain muscle easy, but I also gain everything else easy.

I have been carb cycling for two weeks.  That has proven so far to just make me fatter. I have been using fitday.com.  According to this website I have been burning between 2100 to 2700 calories a day depending on my activity.  On average I eat anywhere from 1600 to 2100 (carb load days)  I always try to keep it about 500 calories under what I am eating.  Still I am maintaining the same weight.  So…fitday must be wrong.  I must not really be burning that many calories.  I am going to experiment by cutting down to 1500 a day and not eating any carbs after 2:00, ever…..

If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know.

Each of us have the same amount of time each day to spend doing what we choose.  Today I sat in a Jury room waiting to be questioned for my civic duty. Both of the attorneys were beautiful women.  One of them, who was a very tall young woman was wearing a tan suit.  You could tell that she was skinny fat.  What do I mean?  You could see all the bumm dimples right through the suit.  Of course, I wasn’t being critical, because God only knows how bad I would look in that suit.  However, it got me to thinking.  I wonder if she spends any time working out or eating well. I have watched shows on attorneys and doctors.  It never seems like they have enough time to do anything but work.

Next, my mind wandered to my husband.  Poor guy works full time and is also going to school full time.  Often we are like ships passing in the night.  He runs three times a week just so that he can be somewhat healthy.  However, for a man who was once a Marine, Swatt team member, cross country runner, it is the least he can do to run three times a week.

I don’t think it is mature of me to look down on someone else because they do not value health the same way I do.  I have heard it said on many occasions that Einstein had many of the same exact suits hanging in his closet.  He couldn’t be bothered to worry about what to wear in the morning.  There were more pressing thoughts for him to spend his mind power on than what to wear.  Myself, on the other hand, take great pleasure in the daily choice of what to wear.

Even though I have increased my commitment to work out five days a week and eat clean I am well aware that it is not within my willpower or desire to eat only 800 calories a day and do 2 hours of cardio like some athletes I have read about on bb.com.

When I went through a season of my life remaining marginally healthy, I was not satisfied with my direction.  It was necessary for me to make a change in order to find balance with my priorities and desires.  With that same value in mind, I also much recognize that we are all different as humans.  My value to be fit is no greater than the scientist who spends long hours seeking the cure for cancer, or the mother of 21 foster children who has no time for her own personal care.  Life is full of beauty and celebration on many levels.  I am happy to have found peace within my scope of knowledge and desire.  I am not willing to force my value system on anyone else.  Not my children, not my husband, not my friends and certainly not strangers.  I am thankful for my friends on bb.com.  Birds of a feather flock together.   I am thankful to share a value system and love with others who are like minded.

More than anything I have wanted to do un-assisted pull-ups.  This Saturday I did two with my arms wide and three with my arms close together.  I can’t begin to tell you how excited I am.