today
Sunday, December 28th, 2008Sat on the couch and knit a whole hat today. Diet was perfect. Rest day. Trained hard yesterday. Been a long time. Back to training tomorrow.
Archive for December, 2008
Body Tranformation, take two!
Sunday, December 28th, 2008So I’ve been at a “plateau” for a while (supposedly) and trying to figure out what to do about it. I’ve had a few conversations with my trainer about it and we’ve figured out that actually I have not really been at a plateau. Over the summer my progress was slow for two reasons: 1. I wasn’t training as much as I needed to with Dwayne (we were working together about once a week. Not enough), and 2. I was cheating on my diet, the diet he set out for me which was cycling carbs (3 days no/very low carbs, 1 day clean carbs before 1 pm).
Now over these months I talked about cycling carbs, I thought about cycling carbs, I wrote about cycling carbs, but I wasn’t cycling carbs. Not even a little bit. I probably didn’t go a day without a carb. Not one, that I recall. If I had had one carb free day I would have been proud of myself. But I can’t say that I did. So while my progress didn’t stop, it definitely slowed way down.
So we’ve been trying to figure this out for a while…at least what to do about it…and Dwayne says he thinks I was getting bored and rebelling, which is probably true. I lost focus somewhat, dietarily (as I’ve noted elsewhere, I stayed on the cardio–thank God!). I was way focused on irrelevancies and emotions of training, instead of my goals. Ultimately a waste of time. I’m better now.
Another issue is the fear factor of getting smaller than I had ever been before. That’s part of the reason I was stuck in the 14 for a LOOOOOOOOONG time! I have never been smaller than that as an adult. It took a while to get my brain around moving past it. The mental transition I think has been the biggest thing for me to overcome. But now, after a month or so of being more on the training (3 times a week) and better on the diet (and now really on it), I am past it. I’m wearing a 12. And it feels good, surprising, and good.
But the thing that has occurred to me as I figured out what to do, that part of my issue also has to do with a metabolic adjustment. I think since I lost this 50 pounds that I have had to adjust what I’m eating too. Not only what I’m eating, but how much I’m eating. The “cheating” on my diet didn’t help of course, but I also think now that my body is smaller I just have to eat less in order to lose fat. Weirdly, and this is a conflict with what I just said, I am actually eating more (volume) food now that I’m my diet–you’ve got to eat a lot–of lean protein and vegetables to fill yourself up–when I’m eating right, I eat a lot…still. I have a tough time getting down all my lean protein. In an effort to be more accountable and precise I bought a food scale so I know how many ounces of protein I’m eating. It’s the third day of the diet and it feels good to be back on track.
It’s funny, but I feel more confident than I ever have about my process of body transformation. When I work out with Dwayne, I’m ALWAYS challenged, but I never feel like I won’t be able to do what he asks me to do. I know that I’m strong enough to do it and I’m getting stronger. I know (now again) that as I do my diet the fat will come off. I had all sorts of thoughts about the “easy” and “hard” fat to lose. I thought I had lost all the easy fat and now things were going to be harder, but the only reason they were harder, was because I wasn’t doing what I needed to do. It’s not harder really…it’s only hard when I make it hard for myself. I know now (again, again) that my body transformation (take two) is in my hand.
Much love!
Alissa
good day at Diamond Gym
Saturday, December 27th, 2008Today was a good day at the gym. I talked to my trainer about dietary issues I’m having and what I decided to do about it (diet in this months MandF Hers) to kick start me. It’s not different from what he told me, but we tweaked it a bit to my particulars. That was a good start, then had an awesome upper body and ab workout with him and then did my fat burning cardio. Ate clean on plan all day. Feel good about it. I’m excited to get ‘er done! yeah!
Twelves! What?!
Saturday, December 27th, 2008Also I bought a pair of size 12s yesterday and didn’t even bother trying them on. I figured they would fit, and if they didn’t they would soon. They fit! Form fitting but that’s how I wear my stuff. I may have to go down to an 8 ultimately because I think I could still have fat on my butt at a 10 now. It’s what my trainer predicted ("I do this for a living" he said) but I didn’t believe it. I’m starting to now. Can’t wait to find out! Yay!
Thanks SensiD!
Friday, December 26th, 2008Yes! I did challenge B yesterday and it was AWESOME! I added 10 runs up and down the three flights of stairs in my house (from the basement to the attic) and some treadmill work. Wow! Even though I had a carbed out meal yesterday I still felt really good about how Christmas went! Thanks for the challenge and keep them coming!
Alissa
Sexy?
Friday, December 19th, 2008I was listening to an interview with Jennifer Nicole Lee (awesome role model!) and she was takling about the prevailing lack of sexiness among American women now days. Something like 60% of women surveyed said they didn’t feel sexy. Damn! Unfortunately I can relate.
I was super sexy when I was fat. At my heaviest I was still pulling dudes…regular ones not chubby chasers. I dressed up my fat self and was quite a hot thing. However, this was a while ago. Like before I got married, when I was in the clubs and single and such. Now I don’t blame my marriage on my lack of sexiness. My husband remains interested whatever my body looks like. So what is it? I think for me it is the burden of adulthood…job and bills, and parenthood, and stress, (and marriage). All that, plus fat took their toll on my sexy. I guess it’s time to bring my sexy back!
It’s funny, because since beginning this body transformation, seeing changes in my body, getting to know it better (and liking how it feels), looking better in (the few) clothes I have, etc I like what I’m experiencing. But weirdly none of that has translated into a feeling of sexiness. Even with my husband “appreciating” me all over the place. Even with positive attention from men (and women). Even with being told almost every day how good I look. No sexy mojo. I miss it (although it did cause problems from time to time). I hope I get it back soon. I’ll report if I do.
Alissa, The REAL Fitness Diva
www.size10chronicles.com
Differential
Friday, December 19th, 2008Well the latest development is my leg and ass seem to be differentiating themselves from one another. The other day I was doing my morning check myself out naked in the mirror thing and I noticed a crease underneath my ass that I hadn’t seen before. I examined it a bit more carefully and evidently my ass and thigh are parting company…no longer will they be known as assthigh, but rather ass and thigh…totally separate. Interesting.
Alissa, The REAL Fitness Diva
www.size10chronicles.com
History of my fat.
Sunday, December 14th, 2008When I was 18 my body image was so distorted I couldn’t have identified myself in a lineup of faceless, naked women. I had a completely distorted view of my physical self. I grew up brainy—hence the Ph.D. I carry around behind my name now-a- days—and spent most of my time growing up with my head in a book. Sure, growing up in California as a little kid I ran around with my friends and biked around our town so I was about as active as anyone, but I wasn’t on any soccer teams (my parents’ divorce and movement to opposite sides of the Bay eliminated that possibility). I wasn’t fat then, but I was big—taller than the other girls and thick—the thickness just got more pronounced once puberty hit around 11 years old when the boobs and butt entered the picture. Honestly, I didn’t know what to do with all of that.
Once I got to junior high I did what I was told in gym class but beyond that, nada. For me life was books…and socializing. I think I did begin to “medicate” myself with food during those years (I didn’t drink or do drugs, but a turkey sandwich with mayo on the way home from school was the ticket). This continued through high school. Again, looking back I wasn’t fat, but I sure wasn’t skinny either, but since my direct references were my super tiny girlfriends I felt HUGE. That’s why I wouldn’t have been able to pick myself out faceless and naked at 18—in my own mind I was a giant! (I was a size 16 at my high school graduation.)
In college I remember talking to a friend of mine who was also worried about her weight and asking her if I was as big as another woman we knew—now I was 5’9’ and about 175—this woman was about the same height but had to weigh close to 300 pounds. Sounds crazy right? But my question was genuine…I really didn’t know!
In college, like many folks, my weight creeped up, but it really didn’t become a problem until I finished college. I fell in love during my senior year with a “secret” fat boy…he was thin when we met, but only because the Army had beaten the fat off of him. We spent our time together in bed eating cheeseburger pizzas from Dominos. This is the man who taught me you could order mayo on your cheeseburgers from McDonalds and introduced me to the Old Country Buffet. Curses! He was an expert at being fat and I learned his ways quickly! Five years and fifty pounds later, we broke-up. I have lost and regained those 50 pounds 3 times since then. So now I was the expert on being fat! Damn! But I’m on a journey and have taken those 50 pounds off again. I’m working on the next 45 and will keep sharing that journey with you all.
Motivation and Models (Role)
Wednesday, December 10th, 2008Melissa Hall is AWESOME!
Size 10 Chronicles Motivation and Models (role)
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