Taking control of my life
How often do you get into a situation you don’t have control over? Or maybe more accurately, you THINK you have no control over? For what ever reason you can’t or won’t do what needs to be done.
I’ve been there. I’m sure everyone has been there at one point of their life. When I was at my heaviest, I was out of control. My control had been provided to some inner emotion that prevented me to take full control and say "NO MORE!". Obviously I eventually took control back.
I recently lost control again. More accurately, I gave control to people who had no interest in me or my well being. They could get away with it because they knew I couldn’t or wouldn’t do anything about it. They dangled my paycheck in front of me knowing I would continue to jump through their hoops. They threatened me with my job in hopes I would continue to conform to their wishes. They were forcing me in a direction I did not want to go towards.
Until yesterday.
I decided enough was enough. I am not willing to stay in a situation that does not offer me anything more than a paycheck. My emotional health was rapidly deteriorating and if I didn’t choose to leave on my terms, I’m sure I would be dealing with a breakdown of some sort…. though I’m sure I already had one which lead to my handing in my resignation.
10 years of loyalty to a system I hated.
But no more. I will move forward and do what needs to be done. Personal Training and helping people is what I want to do. I feel I have so much more to offer the health and fitness industry and lifestyle. I want to help people. Teach and mentor.
I have no plan. Though I feel lost, I do have a direction. I’m in the forest and I can see the sunlight shining through the trees ahead of me, so I will just move in that direction. There will be obstacles, but I can go around, climb over, or crawl under them when I’m faced with them.
I will get there. I have faith in my determination and desire to succeed.
January 20, 2009 at 4:22 am
Been there done that! You have to make decsions for you… Nobody else is going to put your wants and wishes ahead of their own so we must sieze control!