Rewards…..
Friday, August 29th, 2008When I decided to embark on the journey of becoming a personal trainer, I had no idea that my own experiences would become key to training people. Most of the trainers at the gym have been fit and active their whole life.
Not me. In 2003, I was over 200 lbs. When I tell this to people, they’re like "no way!" and when I show them pictures, they often say "there’s hope for me"….
Last night I almost made a client cry. As I started talking about my own experiences, as difficult as it was, I realized I was relating directly to this woman. I had just done her body assessment and she seemed chest fallen to discover she tipped the scale at 207 lbs. Really, nothing new at my job- especially as it’s a women’s only gym! I get very few women in the healthy category.
But I told her my story. Being alone on the weekends. Depression. Doing grocery shopping and buying something I shouldn’t have (usually cookies, chips, and icecream). The guilt of buying it but the guilt of just throwing it away and wasting money. So I’d eat it- usually in one sitting- to get rid of the evidence of the junk food. I’d cry to my husband about hating my body- and yet I had this secret self destructive weekend habit. The hardest thing was confessing this to my husband when I finally hit rock bottom. After that, he’d look at my grocery list to make sure there was no crap on the receipt. He supported me and most importantly, accepted and loved me no matter my shape or size. After that, I clawed my way out of that deep pit to when I decided to compete in 2006.
I hired a personal trainer and though he did an AMAZING job transforming my body- and, yes, though I was doing the work, he knew what to do to get me there. He did things I didn’t think I was capable of. But despite my awsome experience training and competing, that experience with personal trainers was NOT a good one. I felt like his prize dog that he paraded at whim. I was to be covered neck to wrists to ankles. Not allowed to change in front of others so the other members who trained with other trainers would not know my progress. There was a little internal war between the trainers and I was his secret weapon. Because of this, I was ashamed of my body. The body I had worked SO hard to get I wasn’t even allowed to show off until the competition. And after the competition, I didn’t even set foot in the gym and didn’t even speak to my trainer for several months after the competition.
However, I had reached a 10 year goal. Something I didn’t think was within my grasp. It was empowering. But after the competition, and 1 1/2 years later, I put on 60 lbs.
In January 2008 I was helping a friend with getting in shape. She’s one of those girls other’s tend to mutter "bitch" under their breath. Fabulously gorgeous and naturally skinny- being able to eat whatever she wants. But she was smart enough to recognize putting on fat, becoming softer, and she asked for help. I’d give her tips to help clean up her diet. Smarter choices. And giving her exercises she could do at home. She commented one day "wow, you really know what you’re talking about!" And after thinking about it, realized I did have quite a bit of knowledge stored up! I figured if I knew as much as (I thought) I did with no training, how much would I know with training.
So I embarked on becoming a trainer. Both physically and mentally. Since then I lost 40 lbs and am down to 15% body fat and am finalizing my certification.
But I never dreamed it would be this rewarding. How much of an impact I would have on someone’s life.
I look forward to the continuing journey!
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