dope-hot-damn

remember i mentioned pictures don’t lie?  well…i had a dial scale that i just got rid off because it just didn’t seem accurate enough…and to replace, i got a scale that measures both weight and body fat percentage since i didn’t feel it was enough to just go by weight measurements anymore.

first, i was surprised to see that i’m at the same weight as when i started here on bodybuilding.com…it’s been approximately a month ago…it MAY be due to muscle improvement…not sure…but i’ve been consistently training and eating more nutritious foods…i’m back to 144 lbs which is OVERWEIGHT for my height…AND i found out that i have 32% body fat.  however, the good news is that i’m in the HEALTHY range…BUT knowing what i NEED to be…final GOAL is 105-110 pounds at 22% body fat!
also, i will be doing this clean, NO SUPPLEMENTS, just purely with my hard work and trying to eat mostly organic foods…i’m not vegan but i will keep trying…and i’ve already SEEN a difference in my body from a month ago so i will keep at it…wish me luck! 

so i have been making giant leaps as far as setting my personal boundaries when it comes to my career and how i will be living my life.  i am making a commitment to myself…my modus operandi is to place everything in me into something that i believe in.  for the past two years i have poured my heart and soul…my time, my life into my work…and i have suffered by losing sleep, losing precious time that i could be doing any of the items starting from spending time with family, training, meditating, relaxing, anything i want to or feel like doing…posing in front of the mirror for all i care…

so the past couple of weeks, i’ve been much more vocal about the job since i usually speak my mind and i am incredibly honest…this seems to have been causing much of a burden on other people around my work environment and it is about time because this is what i’ve been handling for the past two years.  tempers are flaring and its getting ugly, the sharks and fangs are all out…so instead, now that this is how i’ve started to handle the situation, i will level myself out and also begin looking into other options…but i will continue to respect my time and effort outside of work and not be as involved…there is after all a balance that i believe will stem out of this.

most importantly, i have found myself…my worth and my value.  i know i have been capable, but it is not my business alone, i am not even the company owner…and yet i have been working as though i am…so…events may take drastic turns, but i am incredibly ready now to meet them head on and continue with the adventure ahead of me.

i have not been able to train much the past 2 weeks…yet i continue to keep track of my nutrition…and still feel like i am losing weight.  i feel like i am coming back and focused again.  and getting compliments from people who see me everyday which is wonderful…i’ve always believed in putting yourself first and then afterwards, and only afterwards, can you assist and benefit others.  it would never happen if i am depleted and burned out which i currently am.  so…learn from my lesson…since i’ve had to go through this more than once at a job.

set strong boundaries and do not break them…be consistent…and always put yourself first.