The View from the Classroom

I am a Virgo, perfectionist to the core.  If I choose to do something, I do it right the first time or I don’t do it.  Not a bad thing, right?  Don’t agree with me quite so quickly. 

Being a perfectionist CAN be a bad thing.  In my pre-middle-aged days I think I let it be a bad thing.  How?  By choosing to NOT do things I wanted to do because I feared not doing them well enough.  I feared not being the best.  Anyone out there relate? 

I ran my first 5K in October of 2006, about a month after turning 40.  I had only been running for a few months and not "training" for an event at all.  Just running.  I was scared.  What if I didn’t run the whole thing?  What if I finished last?  What if, what if, what if?????  Those thoughts would have prevented the younger me from even signing up.  But…the 40-year old said, "what the hell" and signed up.

The night before the race, I wanted to just not go.  I mean, it wasn’t like I was gonna win.  Why even show up?  The fact that co-workers were going to run it with me prevented me from taking this path though.  I was stuck.  Had to go.

On race day, once at the race, I felt like I was gonna puke.  I got over it and ran the race.  I had to walk parts of it, but I had a goal of 33 minutes and I beat it…by more than 2 minutes.  Crossing the finish line was the best feeling ever.  I, the person who always said "I’m not a runner" did it. 

Prior to turning 40, I wouldn’t have done it, period.  But, that was only the beginning.  Since turning 40 I’ve run three 5K’s, improving upon my time each time out, a 10K, I did a figure competition, I’ve taken up rollerblading again AND I’m working on my PT certification.  

So what changed?  My attitude.  I’m living for me now, not anyone else.  If I want to do it, I do.  I don’t care so much what others think and I’m definitely not seeking approval from anyone but myself.  And, know what?  I’m happier!  I know it and the people around me know it.  I’m still the perfectionist, but I use the quality differently.  I use it to push myself to do better because I know if others my age are running a 5K in 23 minutes, then I can do it too.  Yes, I have to work hard to get there, but the fact that I’m not there yet isn’t going to prevent me from doing it.

My point…don’t let fear of not being perfect or even good enough stand in your way.  Don’t wait until your 40 to start living your life.  Decide what you want to do and go for it in spite of your fears.  You will amaze yourself at what you can accomplish. 

PS:  I ran a 5K yesterday and I felt like puking.  Only difference is that the feeling came after the race not before.  I pushed myself because I wanted to beat 26 minutes.  I ran it in 25:58.  I was hoping to finish in the top 3 for my age group and that didn’t happen.  Had that been my only goal, I would have been disappointed.  Instead, I was happy for accomplishing my time goal.  Crossing the finish line is still the best feeling ever.

Live YOUR life! 

If you didn’t read part 1, go do it…NOW!  It’s not that long and will only take like 2 minutes or less.

Anyway, in Part 1, I talked about benefit number 1 to weight training, “Increasing Strength” and how that happens without increasing muscle size.  Today’s blog will focus on the second benefit, “Increased Muscle Mass/Decreased Body Fat.”

Now women, you may be thinking “you just told me I could increase strength without worrying about getting big, bulky muscles and today you’re gonna talk about getting big, bulky muscles…I’m confused…aren’t those contradictory??????”  When I talk about increasing muscle mass, I’m not talking about getting big, bulky muscles.  Fact is, women don’t naturally have the hormonal make-up to add big muscles nor do most do what it takes training and diet-wise to get big and bulky.  So just put the words big and bulky away.  Won’t happen without a lot of focused action with that goal in mind.

So, what do I mean by “Increased Muscle Mass/Decreased Body Fat”????? 

When weight-training or training to increase your strength consistently over a period of time and provided you are eating enough of the right kinds of food (subject of a later blog), you will inevitably add some muscle to your body.  Again, we’re not talking big, bulky muscles, just some muscle.  Muscle is different from fat in numerous ways…it looks better for one as it is more dense than fat.  More dense means it takes up less space which means if you add muscle and lose fat you may weigh more but be smaller.  Who doesn’t want to be smaller?  Let me rephrase that…what non-bodybuilding woman doesn’t want to be smaller? 

AND…muscle requires energy (calories) to merely exist.  Fat does nothing but exist.  Muscle burns calories even if you are doing absolutely nothing.  The implication being that, if you add some muscle, you will burn more calories all the time, not just while exercising and thus, you can eat more and maintain your weight or burn fat and lose weight, depending upon your goals.  Why do you think men can do this?  They have more muscle so they burn more calories all the time!!

Now, if you’re skeptical, just try it.  Add some weight-training to your fitness program for a 6-week period and see what happens…what do you have to lose?

 This is exactly what I did last summer when starting to workout with weights.  What happened?  Well, the first six weeks, I stayed at EXACTLY the same weight, however, my clothes size went down…a testament to the statement I made above about being smaller.  Then we went on vacation…I ate well and continued to workout.  Upon returning from vacation I got more aggressive with the weights and made some additional diet changes.  What happened?  My weight decreased by about 10 pounds in a 4-week period and I dropped about two more sizes. 

The amazing part came when I started back to school after the summer break.  Now, realize that when school let out for summer, I had lost about 30+ pounds in the 5 months preceding,  but had only dropped about 1 to 2 sizes in my clothing.  Over the summer I lost only 10 pounds and another 2 to 3 sizes in my clothing.  The comments I got from co-workers upon returning to work amazed me.  I knew I had lost some weight, but didn’t really realize how I had transformed my body until those who had not seen me for awhile saw me for the first time.  Awesome feeling it was!!

Add the weights and you too can experience that feeling.  Again, I ask,  what do you have to lose?

Impossible…that’s what I would have thought if you told me when I started my transformation journey that I would go from wearing XL’s (and hoping they weren’t too tight) to wearing XS’s.  From shopping at specialty stores for big women because regular stores never had my size to shopping at any store I want.

You see, before recently, I had NEVER in my adult life worn ANYTHING smaller than a size 10 on my bottom half.  For you guys out there, size 10 = large (or the big side of medium) in most women’s clothing.  So, when I started my transformation, my goal was to get to a size 10 and stay there.  To not have to try on a size 10, but rather know without a doubt that it would fit.  I mean, I thought a size 10 was "me", that’s where I was "comfortable".

I wouldn’t say it was easy, but I got there with consistent, focused, daily effort.  Once there, I decided I wasn’t happy with that.  I could do more.  So I pushed myself, kept eating clean, kept working out and over time wound up where I am today - size 4 usually, but sometimes I have to try 2’s.  I sometimes get frustrated because stores don’t have my size, but that makes me want to smile these days.

My point is this, if I had focused on getting to a XS from the beginning, I would have thought "impossible" and probably would have given up long before now.  Instead, I focused on smaller chunks…goals that in my mind were doable, not impossible.  

Today I found myself having to do that once again.  I was slated for an hour cardio session this morning.  When I woke up, my legs were worn out, just plain tired.  I had done two 45 minute cardio sessions yesterday.  I was starting to think "an hour…impossible."  With that thinking, it would have been easy to not go at all.  But I went.  Once there, I didn’t even want to start.  But I did.  I punched in 60 minutes on the stairmaster and started.  I broke it down into 10 minute chunks, telling myself that I just needed to get through 10 minutes of 2 minute intervals of increasing intensity.  Next thing I knew…60 minutes, done.  And, it wasn’t soooo bad after all.  Easy?  No, just not impossible as I was starting to think.

So…next time you’re starting to think it’s impossible, break it down into smaller chunks, things you know you can do.  Before you know it, you’ll reach that "impossible" goal and beyond.

How many times do you hear people say "Maybe someday I could do THAT." or "One of these days, I’m gonna lose this weight, pay off my bills, make a career change, whatever ‘that’ happens to be" or on this site how many goals say "Compete someday" or how many comments have you gotten that say "I wish I could…"?

Now, I’m not knocking anyone’s goal.  It’s good to have a dream and be working towards something.  In fact, I was one who just a few months ago was saying to myself that I could compete…someday. 

But, I had all these excuses going on in my head… "What would people think of me?  I’m 40!!!! My butt in a bikini?  NEVER!! I’m not near ready.  There’s too much to do to prepare."  Blah, blah, blah…on and on…like most people, I’m good at thinking of excuses for why I CAN’T do something or why I’ll do it someday.

What changed that?

Well for one, I read a blog by Bahamaman that just hit home with me.  It was about the same topic I’m writing about now.  After reading it, I said "That’s me." and at THAT precise moment, I decided to put an end to the thoughts of "someday", I chose a competition and haven’t looked back.

You see, as my physical transformation is occurring, another transformation is going on inside me.  A transformation of my thinking.  Instead of excuses, my internal dialogue now sounds like this…"Why not?  I’m 40!!!!  Who cares what people think!!!!  There may not be a someday!  I need to live life NOW!!!"

Sometimes I feel like I’ve woken up from sleepwalking through my life, dreaming of someday and now, fully awake, I’m living my life, dreaming no more.  Don’t get me wrong, I still have dreams.  What’s different, though, is that those dreams are turning into reality.  One choice at a time.

So I ask you, what’s keeping you in the dreams of someday?  Why not wake-up, stop dreaming and start living?  It’s your choice.

Have you ever "lost" a piece of clothing that you really love?  Just CAN’T find it and you want to wear it so bad?  Well, I have.  Recently.

I can’t find this one pair of shorts that I just really like and want to wear.  Looked all over, went through the closet, the dresser drawers, asked my daughter if they got put in her room by mistake, even asked my son the same thing.  Nothing.  So, I’m racking my brains and think, maybe, just maybe, I took them to the cleaners.  That MUST be it.  I HATE ironing.  I can totally see me taking them to the cleaners just so I don’t have to iron them.  I’ll check.

I get to the cleaners, tell the clerk my name and she looks.  Nothing.  "Well maybe it’s under hubby’s name" I tell her.  She’s gone a while, but to my excitement, she’s carrying some clothes when she returns.  I don’t see the shorts right off, but instead, see some pants that look way too big to be mine or even my husband’s.  So I look at the label…Dockers…I wear those…yeah, I guess they’re mine.

I hand her my credit card.  She’s taking a while which gives me more time to think about how big those pants looked.  What do I do?  I check the size…

The clerk returns with my receipt and I say to her "These clothes must have been here a while, huh?"  She replies "About this time last year is when they were brought in."  I guess that makes sense I think to myself.

OMG…four pair of pants were in that set I picked up…three size 14 and one size 16…and they WERE mine.  I CAN’T believe it.  I mean, I KNOW I’ve lost a lot of weight, but until I saw those pants and thought "those look awful big to be mine", I didn’t realize how MUCH weight.  And it hasn’t been THAT long.  WOW.

What can I say?  It was an AWESOME feeling that I hope everyone reading this will experience at some point during their journey.  A feeling that everyone CAN experience with consistent, focused choices that move them closer to their goals.

BTW…not that it matters, my goal when I started was to be able to buy size 10’s without even having to try them on.  I mean, I’ve never worn smaller than that in my life.  Today, I wear a size 4 or smaller.  I still pick up 6’s to try on when I’m not feeling like it’s real.  If I can do it, you can too. 

Consistent, focused choices.
 

Early on in my bodyspace blogging, I wrote a blog about a response I got from a fellow teacher.  After telling her how I lost weight and continue to transform my body, her response was "But, you make it sound so simple."  To me, it is simple.  Make the choice and do what you need to do everyday to get to where you’re going.

Once again, I’ve been thinking deeply about choices which led me to start reflecting upon that earlier blog and wanting to revisit it.

While I still think it’s a simple matter of making a choice and doing what it takes to get there, I now see that it is not one choice, but a series of small choices made every single day that get you to where you want to be.

This is not just true for losing weight,  building muscle or otherwise transforming your physical self, but for anything in life that you really desire.  If you know where you’re going, every choice you make either gets you closer to that destination or takes you further away from it.

In order to make the choices that take you closer to your destination or goal, however, you must first know where you’re going and second, make CONSCIOUS choices, always asking "Will doing this get me closer to my goal or take me further away from it?"

Too many times, we don’t keep our destinations, our goals, our visions right in front of us and we forget about them.  We get home from work, stressed, tired, whatever and reach for the bag of chips without being fully conscious that we are choosing something that will take us further away from our goal.  And what happens?  We soon feel guilty, ashamed, disappointed that we ate the whole bag or that the scale is moving in the wrong direction and we give up.

If instead we had stopped to ask "Will eating the bag of chips get me closer to my goal or take me further away from it?" and we base the choice on that simple answer, we end up moving in the right direction. 

Easy?  Some days, yes and some days, no.   If it was always easy, EVERYONE would be exactly where they want to be with exactly the body they want making exactly how much money they want, etc.

So…if you are one struggling with something in your life, be it weight, work, relationship issues or whatever, decide what it is you truly desire in that area.  Do what you need to do to keep that vision in front of you, be conscious of every choice you make and ask yourself with every single one of those choices "Is this decision going to get me closer to my vision or take me further away from it?"

I guess my physique is very deceiving when wearing regular, everyday, non-skin showing clothes. 

Yesterday, I had to go to school to pack up the classroom…students are done for the year, so dress code is gone.  I wore one of my faves…destroyed blue jeans and a tank top.

From the moment I walked in the school until I left it was nothing but…

"You’re all muscle!"

"Look at your muscles!"

"You’re cut!"

"DANG…!!!"

And my absolute favorite…"I gotta start working out!"  Honestly…I hope that at least one of my fellow coworkers was motivated enough by my progress to get started on their own transformation this summer.  Knowing where I was a year ago and how far I’ve gone through bodybuilding, the thought of my journey inspiring someone else would just tickle me pink!!!

I’ve read it over and over and over, on this site and elsewhere.  "I’m trying to workout, eat clean, etc., but my wife, husband, family, girlfriend, friends (list goes on), doesn’t support me."  Until today, I didn’t think I had much to say on the subject, but after responding to a "friend’s" message, I realized I did, hence, the subject of today’s blog….

It was December, 2005 - winter break - when I decided to "get serious" about my weight.  I didn’t tell anyone of my decision, just made it and got busy.  I probably weighed around 180, give or take a few pounds.  I had to force myself to go the gym consistently and I really didn’t know what "clean" eating was. 

For the next few months (until the end of school, I guess) I made some progress, lost about 25 to 30 pounds and was feeling pretty good about myself, but knew I could do better. 

Then, starting in June, I made more drastic changes…read up on clean eating and changed my diet…started seriously lifting weights.  I made REAL progress over the summer.  I was really transforming not only my body, but my mind.

So you’re thinking…what does this have to do with lack of support?  I’m getting to that…

My family has always "supported" me.  I mean, my husband never complained about my time at the gym or what I ate.  I didn’t force it on anyone else.  I did my thing and the rest of the family did theirs.  BUT, I don’t think they truly grasped why I was doing what I did.  My husband thought I must be trying to impress someone else.  I started hearing comments from friends and family like "one meal isn’t gonna make a difference" or "you eat the same thing everyday" or "we had chicken last night" or "it’s all about you" or, you get the picture…

But, I stuck to it regardless.

Today, I don’t hear those comments so much and (hopefully) my husband knows that it’s not about someone else.  My husband and I go to the gym together when we can.  He has changed his diet.  My daughter has started going to the gym.  My son doesn’t complain about what we eat, he just fixes himself something different or eats elsewhere (16 year old).

What brought them around?  My perserverance, my determination that, no matter what, I was doing this, my consistency, MY RESULTS.

So…my advice is this…continue working hard and eating clean and know that with a healthier body comes a healthier, happier life.  Don’t worry so much what others think because life is too short for that.  Be consistent and persevere.  Let the results speak.  Others will take notice and start to understand.  And with understanding often comes support.

I won’t bore you with my workout details, but tonight I felt a little stronger.  I worked back and bi’s and for the first time, was able to do 3 sets of EZ bar curls with 10 pounds on it.  I know…pretty weak for most of you guys, but stuff like that keeps me motivated.

As a matter of fact, I tell my 13 (soon to be 14) year old daughter when she’s running in her track meets not to worry about the other runners.  I tell her to compete to beat her last time and as long as she does that, she’s progressing.   In every meet this year, she has beat her previous meet’s time. 

I tell my 16 year old who thinks he should be on varsity, but instead is on the JV baseball team, to use it as pitching/hitting/fielding practice to get better.  Whether the team wins or loses, he can always better his game.

I guess what I’m saying is that in a world where everyone tries to keep up with or beat everyone else, I think more of us need to just focus on ourselves.  Work within ourselves and strive to do better than last time.  In order to really better yourself, motivation has to come from within and how better to motivate yourself than to compete with yourself? 

Heck, I never lose when I do that!

Recently, I was asked by one of my teacher friends what I did to lose weight.  I told her that I decided to get serious.  I started weight training and I changed the way I eat.  We discussed things in a little bit of detail and when we were done her response was "but you make it sound so simple."

That response stuck with me and I’ve thought about it many times since that conversation.  It really is simple. 

Make up your mind that you want to do "it" ("it" is whatever you decide your goal is), make a plan, take steps everyday to reach "it" and constantly evaluate your progress.  Don’t let other people’s negativity or lack of understanding stop you.  People WILL think you’re obsessed.  I don’t think that’s a bad thing.  If you have a bad day, don’t beat yourself up, just do better tomorrow. 

The hardest thing about it for me was the deciding to do it.  I had to mentally make my mind up that it was time to get serious.  No more excuses.  No more denial.  After that, it really was "simple."

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I’m not saying that I necessarily want to drag myself to the gym every single day (even though I do) or that I want to eat the same old boring food every single day (that’s hard some days) or that it doesn’t take hard work every single day (it does).  But, it’s simply what I must do to reach my goal.  I committed to it in my mind and that was the hardest part about it.

So, it is simple.  Set your goal and put the wheels in motion.