The View from the Classroom

I am a Virgo, perfectionist to the core.  If I choose to do something, I do it right the first time or I don’t do it.  Not a bad thing, right?  Don’t agree with me quite so quickly. 

Being a perfectionist CAN be a bad thing.  In my pre-middle-aged days I think I let it be a bad thing.  How?  By choosing to NOT do things I wanted to do because I feared not doing them well enough.  I feared not being the best.  Anyone out there relate? 

I ran my first 5K in October of 2006, about a month after turning 40.  I had only been running for a few months and not "training" for an event at all.  Just running.  I was scared.  What if I didn’t run the whole thing?  What if I finished last?  What if, what if, what if?????  Those thoughts would have prevented the younger me from even signing up.  But…the 40-year old said, "what the hell" and signed up.

The night before the race, I wanted to just not go.  I mean, it wasn’t like I was gonna win.  Why even show up?  The fact that co-workers were going to run it with me prevented me from taking this path though.  I was stuck.  Had to go.

On race day, once at the race, I felt like I was gonna puke.  I got over it and ran the race.  I had to walk parts of it, but I had a goal of 33 minutes and I beat it…by more than 2 minutes.  Crossing the finish line was the best feeling ever.  I, the person who always said "I’m not a runner" did it. 

Prior to turning 40, I wouldn’t have done it, period.  But, that was only the beginning.  Since turning 40 I’ve run three 5K’s, improving upon my time each time out, a 10K, I did a figure competition, I’ve taken up rollerblading again AND I’m working on my PT certification.  

So what changed?  My attitude.  I’m living for me now, not anyone else.  If I want to do it, I do.  I don’t care so much what others think and I’m definitely not seeking approval from anyone but myself.  And, know what?  I’m happier!  I know it and the people around me know it.  I’m still the perfectionist, but I use the quality differently.  I use it to push myself to do better because I know if others my age are running a 5K in 23 minutes, then I can do it too.  Yes, I have to work hard to get there, but the fact that I’m not there yet isn’t going to prevent me from doing it.

My point…don’t let fear of not being perfect or even good enough stand in your way.  Don’t wait until your 40 to start living your life.  Decide what you want to do and go for it in spite of your fears.  You will amaze yourself at what you can accomplish. 

PS:  I ran a 5K yesterday and I felt like puking.  Only difference is that the feeling came after the race not before.  I pushed myself because I wanted to beat 26 minutes.  I ran it in 25:58.  I was hoping to finish in the top 3 for my age group and that didn’t happen.  Had that been my only goal, I would have been disappointed.  Instead, I was happy for accomplishing my time goal.  Crossing the finish line is still the best feeling ever.

Live YOUR life! 

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 4th, 2008 at 8:33 am and is filed under Need Motivation?. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.