scouter99 transformed

A lot people have some sort of milestone that they use to define the passage of time.  You know what I mean- before kids and after kids, before marriage and after marriage, before the 100lb weight loss and after a whole person melted away, before the bad marriage and after the salvation of divorce, before prison and after prison… it is the point in your life significant enough that you are actually a somewhat different person on one side of the mark then the other.

I’ve had quite a few myself and am working toward my next milestone.  Competing in a bodybuilding competition.  Like anything worthy of milestone fame, this isn’t an easy journey.  I have had setbacks, doubts, full blown stoppages and power outages but I have never really taken my eye off the prize and continue to use every resource available to me to keep pushing forward.  I will reach this milestone.  

An old friend of mine came over on Friday to hang with me.  She and I were pretty tight for awhile when we were around 17-19 years old.  We worked at the same department store in high school and just clicked.  She had a baby very young and moved out of state and we completely lost track of each other until just last year thanks to Facebook.  She had been in a really horrible relationship and I found myself thinking about her often over the years and hoping she was alright, but before social networking I really had no way to get in touch with her.  

While we were catching up it become very clear that she’s had a few milestones in her life.  She has shown strength to be where she is now, and is embarking on a new journey that will most certainly create a HUGE milestone for her.  She is ready to take her body and health squarely in her hands and through hard work and perseverance will make a tremendous and life changing transformation.  She has a long way to go, but after talking with her and sharing some of my experience with fitness, diet and such I completely believe she can do this!  She was like a sponge and just absorbed everything and anything I could tell her.  I am so proud of her for taking this first step.  

So this got me thinking.  What types of milestones have you surpassed in your journey to health and fitness?  I would love to hear about it, not just for my own motivation but for hers as well (I told her about bodyspace and I know she visited it this weekend).  So many of us on here have come so far and have so much to be proud of!!  Please share how you are different because of your fitness/bodybuilding journey.  On behalf of everyone at the beginning of their own journey (or struggling to gain some momentum on an in progress journey) I thank you!!

Seems counter-intutive, right?

Took some measurements this morning because in the mirror I look different and I feel different.  No different!  ARGH!  My biceps are now 14 inches, though… which I think is pretty good for a girl.

I have been on a cut diet for the past week.  Been pretty close to perfect, too.  Upped my cardio and doing 2-a-days.  Hopefully all that will start showing up soon.  This is my big test.  The contest isn’t until May, but right now is where I set the stage for myself.  Right now is where I show my mettle, what I’m made of.  Right now is where I gather data and learn about what works and what doesn’t for the REAL DEAL cut.  When there is no time for trial and error and mistakes.

I am really motivated right now but there are still those nagging doubts.  Those kill me.  Do I have what it takes to compete?  That’s what eats at me.  I am just not satisfied with being above average.  Sure, I look better than A LOT of 37 year olds.  I hear constantly that I look WAY younger than I am.  I get actual shock reactions from some people when I tell them my age.  I am also complimented regularly on my muscles.  And my hotness factor (that sounds so conceited that I almost couldn’t write that- I do NOT see THAT girl).

But that is just not good enough.  The girl I see in the mirror is not good enough.  Not by a long shot.  I want to be extraordinary.  I want to be elite.  I want this so bad that I can’t think of anything else.  It consumes me.  I obsess about it.  Some days all I think about is food and the gym.  Well, almost all I think about (he knows who he is ).

But like everything in life… some people have it and some people don’t.  No matter HOW badly someone trains and works and desires, most people just can’t achieve the greatness they desire.  

Take professional sports as an example.  It is the RARE person who can make it at that level.  There are a group of people who excel up to a certain point.  They train as hard as the pros.  They want it as bad (and sometimes more so than the gifted).  But no matter what they do, they will never reach that level.  No matter what.

So that nagging voice in the back of my brain keeps whisper, what if I am one of those?  What if, no matter what I do I just am not cut out to reach that level?  What if I am destined to be above average only?  Can I accept that?  I mean, I really didn’t get seriously started at this until I was 36 years old.  I trained, but never like this.  My bodyfat has always been on the higher side, so I can’t say I’ve ever been lean.  Strong, yes.  Lean, no.  So the uphill battle is mine.  The question is, can I accept being above average?

When I dig deep down for the answer, I get only one.

No.  I cannot.