scorpion42’s BodyBlog

It truly is a science to try and figure out what works best for each individual.I’ve always been really good about being able to figure out how to train and how to change up my diet so that i make progress. I realize that I am getting older and of course all the changes that go along with that. My mom always tells me the body and body chemistry changes pretty dramatically every 7 yrs .I’m starting to believe her ,LOL. I’m going to keep at it I’m bound to get the right mix .In the intrim I’m going to look up an old friend and see if they can figure it out.I know I’m doing it right as far as training and eating clean  so I’m gonna keep movin forward. Have a good one all.

The alarm clock went off this am at 4.I was like Oh Man!!  Usually the alarm goes off and I’m "Bing " Outta the bed like a rocket.Well the blueberry pie ,pumpkin pie, the brownie and the bread pudding were trying to keep the rocket in the launching area.I did jump up and  turn the light on and I shut the alarm clock off but then  I climbed back into the bed where I quickly fell back into my sugar induced coma. 20 min later I jump up like"Holy crap" What time is it!!I though about just saying forget it and not go to the gym, but then I was like"Listen Lard ass,you ate like an animal yesturday",Your punishment!!" Get your butt in the car and get to the gym’.I was glad that I went,yes me and my food hangover".I was 1 of only 5 people that got there.So I beat up back and bi’s pretty dang good.Well it was probably  3,000 grams of carbs that gave me the ability to keep throwing more and more weight on the bar.Then off to cardio to pay more penance.Man food hangovers are wayyyyy worse than the alcohol induced hangovers.I’m sooooo all set with the nasty food AHHHHHH!!

I give thanks for friends and family,for life’s good things,both large and small.This past year has been quite a roller coaster ride ,but I try to remember thru all the craziness to be thankful.We had alot put on our plate  2 major water main breaks in our home that we  are still fighting the Insurance co to repair what was damaged,but I am thankful I have a roof over my head,the repercussions of a thyroidectomy,sometimes things go smoothly ,other times there’s speed bumps,but I’m here for my kids and I am thankful for that.My youngest child  was diagnosed with liver disease.This was by far the biggest wake up call of all.Going into childrens hospital.And my poor little guy having test after test.Everytime the Doc would come in to tell us how each test turned out.I’d be begging God not to let it be bad.Oh !the fear every time they entered the room ,there’s no way to explain.But I am thankful ,Oh God in heaven am I Grateful  that Joe’s liver disease can be one he can live with as long as he lives a healthy life style.At 43 I’m thankful that my mom and dad are  both healthy an energetic and are able to build memories daily with my children.I am thankful and grateful to all of the friends that have stood next to me thru this tumultuous year.I wish you all Health, Happiness and peace.Happy Thankgiving

I Read a blog recently that really hit home for me.She was saying exactly what I have been feeling.

Recently I have faced all kinds of inner Demons,mental,physical and emotional. Major doubts have entered my mind.

"Just give up now and go back to the old ways,back to my nice comfortable life".Then I realize it wasn’t nice and comfortable.That’s why 12 yrs ago I made the change because I didn’t want to be the over weight mom,the mom with the square butt,no waist,looking older than I was.Why am I now after 12 yrs having such a tuff time pulling myself together! I’ve fallen off the food wagon before a couple days here and there.And I must admit I feel as though I’m getting back the fire I used to have in my tummy.The training is not where I mess up .I definately train hard.As I’m writing this I’m trying to work it out in my head.An ya no what! What always nags at the back of my head is feeling like I can’t be involved in social  gathering  because it always involves food,which then leads to (I know call me crazy") But i’m just laying it out.My kids bum out ,my husband bums out, my MOM,yes even mom."Oh just have a little ,live a little enjoy yourself" Ahhhhhhhh!!And then when I don’t eat it I feel like  a bad mom ,bad wife… cause I get why can’t you just let up for this one time..mom…wifey….Because if I do, I can’t reel myself in,THAT"S WHY!! because I start saying "Well I’ll just eat bad today(Now that I’ve let the inner beast out")Then I eat till I’m sick because I’m going to shut myself off tomorrow…… and then tomorrow comes and I can’t shut the  beast down and then the next day ,and the next and then it’s 10 lbs up and I’m pissed off.They don’t get it.And then I just feel bad about it all. So how do I fix this crazy cycle  I’ve fallen into ?HMMM

Ok,I’m going to embrace my voluptuous side till the  1st of Janurary.I’m always fighting this battle of "I want more muscle,I need to be really lean"Constant battle.So I’m definately going to keep eating clean,but give myself a cheat day on Saturday(And not beat myself up after I do it).Add more carbs during the week so I have more energy to lift heavy.Thanks again to Mr Montana and the words of wisdom he left for ( Christina) Hwy 2 hottie.It really helped me put things into perspective.I was starting to lose the passion I had always had  for exercise and eating well.It was because I lost direction and was driving aimlessly with  out a clear plan.I haven’t downloaded any knew pics in a while mostly because I felt  I was not good enough.I am ! I work hard and have been thru alot of peaks and valley’s in the past couple of years and I still got up every day and went to the gym .So I’m hoping to post my voluptuous side this weekend.:)

It was my Birthday,I ate cake.I feel like s@#%.The END

Had another hit about 4wks ago so needless to say the show is off. The past few weeks I’ve drowned my sorrows in  bad eating.Obviously that did not help the cause.I  pulled my self together and I am setting my sights on spring.I really have to stop being so hard on myself.I’ve never had to pull out of a show before so failure  didn’t set well with me.I’m working on a knew game plan.Part of it is to see that as important as fitness and health is to me I also need to to have a healthy attitude towards set backs ( Cause Lord knows they keep on coming)LOL.I thought about  just quitting!  the workouts, the diet all of it,but would I be happy then? Hell NO!!!!This is so much a part of me.It starts my day off.At the end of my work out I feel so energized,so freakin  happy!! Why would I give that up? Crazy girl!Keep dancing  girl and find the right groove.Your not a quitter ,just a little beatup.Get a band aid and  just keep moving forward

6 wks out! I think I’m going to make it.I was going to give it to the 12th of Sept if I didn’t see what I wanted to see then I was just going to keep on working and do a show next season.I got up this morning and I was like "YES"!!!!I’m so HAPPY:)It looks like I’ll make Oct 10th YEHA!!!

I had another amazing leg workout this morning .I want some kick-a$$ legs! Yup that’s the plan!!Love that feeling of knowing that you gave 100% .That tight ,burning ,wobbly,leg feeling will bring incredible gains.

This morning while I was at the gym ,a girl that I haven’t seen in probably a year came in.She used to be an early bird like myself, But now I guess goes to the gym later in the morning.I was sooo tired that I decided to get a couple extra hrs sleep and go in later.Well anyways,I’m on the stairmill(Sparkie I think of you and level 18 amazing!!)and I get the hairy eye ball .I’m not bothered by it,it actually makes me giggle to myself.Each person she talks to  I get more hairy eye ball.It actually makes me feel bad  for her to think that she has so little confidence that she does this .It doesn’t bother me I work too hard and know who I am and I’m proud of what I see.All it  does is make me stand taller and walk like a peacock.hehe.I remember when I was pregnant with my 3rd child.(I’m at the gym  mind you).I here someone say "wow T is gonna have  a big baby"She’s all,"that’s not baby  that’s fat"Well,well Miss Darby "How Do Ya Like Me Now"Confidence is key!Some times I have to reel it in,not often though.