sborton84’s BodyBlog

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless–it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.” C.S. Lewis

I’ve noticed lately, that people are growing more and more distant…not in terms of "friendships" or "relationships." In terms of love. The kind of love that risks to be broken. We’ve all had our fair share of heartbreak. If it wasn’t a love lost, it was the death of a grandmother or grandfather, parent, or friend. We made the decision to love that person knowing full well, that there was a chance of loss.

Now I’m not trying to go all Shakespere here or anything. My concern and observation is that people are losing a sense of urgency to help others in need. We live in fear that we might be hurt, that person might take advantage of us, we might be broken! Recently, a man approached my husband and I, asking for some change. We’ve become so accustomed to this, that we often just turn around and continue walking.

Everyone has their opinions about giving money away. In a previous post, I wrote about how I come from a family that is very generous and often "gives" to the point that they are taken advantage of. Their love causing them to be hurt over and over again.

When we first moved to the city, I was extremely compassionate and willing to give a few dollars to anyone. After awhile, I realized, ya know what? I’m really poor too! I’m a full-time college-student, full-time employee, and barely have enough change to contribue to my own health and well-being. Since then, I’ve grown much colder. I don’t listen as closely. I see the surface and assume everyone is the same, has the same problems, money is the answer (sarcasm).

As this gentleman approached us while we were unlocking our front door, my husband and I started get nervous and do our regular "I’m sorry" routine. He says, "Listen, I really DO need help right now. My car ran out of gas and I need to get to hospital. My wife is having our first!" I think cold, impenetrable thougts, "I’ve heard lots of stories…some better than this." He continues on and tells us how he needs to see his baby boy being born, he has to be there for his wife. He’ll pay us back, but he needs gas to get to the hospital. "Please, can you help me?" He pulls out a laminated picture of himself and his beautiful wife, his hand rested proudly on her pregnant belly.

Ouch. That hurt. God could you lay that down a little harder?

My husband took the young man to the gas station, filled up a tank’s worth of gas for him, and told him to get going! Don’t worry about ever paying us back. Not even two weeks later, a plain white letter sat on our front porch. Inside, $40 and a picture of this young man, his wife, and their new baby and a card that said, "Thank you." Obviously, I learned a lesson from that experience. Not everyone is out to take advantage of you. I learned to keep my heart a bit more open, to open my eyes and see the greater picture, and to LISTEN.

It is very hard to choose to love when there is that chance that someone will not appreciate your act of graciousness. However, if you stay cold and keep your heart guarded, you quickly become like my husband and I had … our ears impenetrable, our hearts guarded, our eyes closed. Love comes with a price, but avoiding love causes that numb feeling that C.S. Lewis described so well, "But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless–it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable."

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 23rd, 2007 at 9:03 am and is filed under Thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.