relentless.

i was admitted into the hospital for two days due to the ongoing pain in my knee. the diagnosis was that i have a torn lateral meniscus and i have to go for another arthroscopy to repair it. these two days were hell in terms of keeping up with my meal plans. the hospital food was tempting. my girlfriend bought me my favourite finger foods to cheer me up. i seemed to be in danger of breaking my diet and several times, i told myself, "it’s okay saha, one day of cheating won’t kill you or your diet. you can always get back on track tomorrow." but a part of me refused to give up, i immediately called my brother to bring me my protein tub and almonds. keeping broccoli overnight in the hospital didnt seem to be a good idea so i thought i would just settle with protein shakes and almonds for the couple of days.

oh did i mention my brother forgot to bring my shaker? darn. but no problem, i mixed up half a scoop of protein with a cup of water ala making coffee. it was fun, chewing the clumped protein powder, i mean, it actually tasted good! i asked my brother to bring back the finger food my girlfriend had gotten me. i refused to touch the hospital food. and thus i lived on protein drink and almonds for two days. i nearly gave up. i was in the worst state emotionally and i thought injecting junk into my system wouldn’t necessarily kill me. but somewhere inside my head, i knew that i’ll feel even worse after consuming all the junk. amidst everything that seemed to be going haywire in my life, i wanted to at least make ONE thing right - and that was sticking to my diet plan. i realised the fine line between giving up and labouring on. knee operation or not, i will make sure that i am NOT giving this lifestyle of mine up to become a fat ugly slob again. NO WAY!

first it was my left ankle. and then it was the right shin. then came the blow to my left knee. anterior cruciate ligament status - gone. medial cruciate ligament status - gone. meniscus status - gone. and now the status of my cartilages? gone as well. oh and a brief cameo appearance by my right hip’s iliofemoral ligament. snapped as well. something had to give in. and it wasn’t rugby, i was just too passionate about the game to throw in the towel.

the injuries have taken their toll on me now. badly. as of yesterday, i have officially decided to call it quits. yup, it’s been a tough decision to make. felt like ditching a lover of 10 years. but it was inevitable, especially so with a couple more surgeries on my knee looming over me. i had to quit. and it’s been depressing. i woke up today with a feeling like i’ve lost a huge chunk of me.

however, my journey to blast those fats will continue as per normal. there is no excuse to slacken off on this just because i’ve quit rugby. i will fight till my last breath to annihilate those stubborn adipose tissues just so that i can have a body of my dreams at least. the battle continues.

first week of project arson has seen me battle with a sore body all over. it has been one less workout this week due to rugby commitments but the removal of a total arms day was anything but less intensive. infact, my workouts have been the most intensive as i shortened my rest time to one minute and i think this is going to provide the perfect shock that my muscle fibres and adipose tissues need.

i stumbled upon an old piece of paper that was oh so familiar. it was done last year and it was the first SERIOUS forray into re-building my body for the better. unfortunately i had to stop the plan due to my knee operation but hey, THIS was the foundation to where i am right now. here goes.

" date start: 01 06 08   date end: 01 09 08

- i am so happy and thankful that i am in the best shape of my life now.

- i am reaching the most aggressive weight possible by the program’s end (75kg) by september 1st.

- i am taking it one meal, one workout and one day at a time.

- i eat five or six moderate sized meals everyday, each with a serving of lean protein and a serving of complexed carbs.

- i am preparing my food in advance every morning.

- i look extremely good with my shirt off on september 1st.

- i am in the fittest, fastest and strongest state i’ve ever been on the field.

- i am waking up early on tuesday and thursday morning to do early morning cardio, i am pumping iron intensively and consistently 5-6 times a week.

- i am rewarding myself with TWO cheat meals per week for my hard work and dieting throughout the week.

- i am developing clean eating and consistent exercising habits that are so ingrained into my lifestyle that they stay with me for the rest of my life."

hmm, wow, i’ve come quite abit from where i was last year. some of the goals met with emphatically; some still in the progress. but one thing’s for sure, im not going to stop until i reach that damn goal. period.

yes, my quest to attain that elusive abs and to shred my bodyfats percentage to 10% has begun in an emphatic manner. what better way to start off my 8 weeks of battle against fats than a workout that left me stuttering home with weak legs? yes, it was legs day today and it was an awesome start to the battle. diet in total control. did cardio upon waking up in the morning for 45 minutes on the stationary bicycle. had lotsa sleep and then hit the gym with my brother to blast those legs. i wouldn’t be posting my workout stats here as i’ve started a log in the forum to keep track of my progress. here is the link for anyone who’s interested to keep tabs with my progress http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=113837431

i cant wait to torch those fats further and send them off, never to see them ever again!