relentless.

i was admitted into the hospital for two days due to the ongoing pain in my knee. the diagnosis was that i have a torn lateral meniscus and i have to go for another arthroscopy to repair it. these two days were hell in terms of keeping up with my meal plans. the hospital food was tempting. my girlfriend bought me my favourite finger foods to cheer me up. i seemed to be in danger of breaking my diet and several times, i told myself, "it’s okay saha, one day of cheating won’t kill you or your diet. you can always get back on track tomorrow." but a part of me refused to give up, i immediately called my brother to bring me my protein tub and almonds. keeping broccoli overnight in the hospital didnt seem to be a good idea so i thought i would just settle with protein shakes and almonds for the couple of days.

oh did i mention my brother forgot to bring my shaker? darn. but no problem, i mixed up half a scoop of protein with a cup of water ala making coffee. it was fun, chewing the clumped protein powder, i mean, it actually tasted good! i asked my brother to bring back the finger food my girlfriend had gotten me. i refused to touch the hospital food. and thus i lived on protein drink and almonds for two days. i nearly gave up. i was in the worst state emotionally and i thought injecting junk into my system wouldn’t necessarily kill me. but somewhere inside my head, i knew that i’ll feel even worse after consuming all the junk. amidst everything that seemed to be going haywire in my life, i wanted to at least make ONE thing right - and that was sticking to my diet plan. i realised the fine line between giving up and labouring on. knee operation or not, i will make sure that i am NOT giving this lifestyle of mine up to become a fat ugly slob again. NO WAY!

first it was my left ankle. and then it was the right shin. then came the blow to my left knee. anterior cruciate ligament status - gone. medial cruciate ligament status - gone. meniscus status - gone. and now the status of my cartilages? gone as well. oh and a brief cameo appearance by my right hip’s iliofemoral ligament. snapped as well. something had to give in. and it wasn’t rugby, i was just too passionate about the game to throw in the towel.

the injuries have taken their toll on me now. badly. as of yesterday, i have officially decided to call it quits. yup, it’s been a tough decision to make. felt like ditching a lover of 10 years. but it was inevitable, especially so with a couple more surgeries on my knee looming over me. i had to quit. and it’s been depressing. i woke up today with a feeling like i’ve lost a huge chunk of me.

however, my journey to blast those fats will continue as per normal. there is no excuse to slacken off on this just because i’ve quit rugby. i will fight till my last breath to annihilate those stubborn adipose tissues just so that i can have a body of my dreams at least. the battle continues.

first week of project arson has seen me battle with a sore body all over. it has been one less workout this week due to rugby commitments but the removal of a total arms day was anything but less intensive. infact, my workouts have been the most intensive as i shortened my rest time to one minute and i think this is going to provide the perfect shock that my muscle fibres and adipose tissues need.

i stumbled upon an old piece of paper that was oh so familiar. it was done last year and it was the first SERIOUS forray into re-building my body for the better. unfortunately i had to stop the plan due to my knee operation but hey, THIS was the foundation to where i am right now. here goes.

" date start: 01 06 08   date end: 01 09 08

- i am so happy and thankful that i am in the best shape of my life now.

- i am reaching the most aggressive weight possible by the program’s end (75kg) by september 1st.

- i am taking it one meal, one workout and one day at a time.

- i eat five or six moderate sized meals everyday, each with a serving of lean protein and a serving of complexed carbs.

- i am preparing my food in advance every morning.

- i look extremely good with my shirt off on september 1st.

- i am in the fittest, fastest and strongest state i’ve ever been on the field.

- i am waking up early on tuesday and thursday morning to do early morning cardio, i am pumping iron intensively and consistently 5-6 times a week.

- i am rewarding myself with TWO cheat meals per week for my hard work and dieting throughout the week.

- i am developing clean eating and consistent exercising habits that are so ingrained into my lifestyle that they stay with me for the rest of my life."

hmm, wow, i’ve come quite abit from where i was last year. some of the goals met with emphatically; some still in the progress. but one thing’s for sure, im not going to stop until i reach that damn goal. period.

yes, my quest to attain that elusive abs and to shred my bodyfats percentage to 10% has begun in an emphatic manner. what better way to start off my 8 weeks of battle against fats than a workout that left me stuttering home with weak legs? yes, it was legs day today and it was an awesome start to the battle. diet in total control. did cardio upon waking up in the morning for 45 minutes on the stationary bicycle. had lotsa sleep and then hit the gym with my brother to blast those legs. i wouldn’t be posting my workout stats here as i’ve started a log in the forum to keep track of my progress. here is the link for anyone who’s interested to keep tabs with my progress http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=113837431

i cant wait to torch those fats further and send them off, never to see them ever again!

yes, it’s going to be an all out assault on those fats around my midsection once january says goodbye to us and february comes knocking on my door. a week of break has gone by and i feel more than hungry to get into the gym and pump iron into my blood. i miss the feeling of contracting my muscles at the peak of every exercise movement, i miss the rush of blood that swells my muscles up, i miss bursting through my last rep as though my very next second of existance depended upon it and i sure do miss that sense of achievement that i get every single time i walk out of the gym after a crushing workout. the time is near to set those fats on fire. break week has energized my batteries to the maximum. my diet has been perfectly spot on and i also had my scheduled cheat meal for the month.

i do not want to break new records pertaining to my own fitness goals, i want to smash them. 5 weeks and 5 days without a single cheat meal was the latest record. now to the next record of having a set of visible abs for the first time in my life. watch this space.

1) mr derek charlebois has replied to my query for me to join team scivation and if he could come up with a diet/gym plan for me to follow religiously to reach my fitness goals. it was a positive reply! i can’t wait to get my programe from him and start full swing right away.

2) today is cheat day! yes, after 5 weeks and 5 days since my last cheat meal, i decided to schedule it today because it falls on my carb refeed day and it’ll give me ample time for the bloated feeling to subside before 01 02 09. this date being the start of my gym programe heads on after a week’s break and the date that ill start new supplementation as well. my plan initially was to have a grand total of no more than THREE cheat meals until 31st March 2008 and i’m RIGHT on track baybay!

3) im in the middle of my break week. which means in another THREE days, i’ll be back kicking ass in the gym! boy, i miss the feeling of pumping iron into my blood. much needed! countdown has never been a bitch but i cant wait to be bigger, better and stronger in the gym!

im officially missing the gym right now. it’s just the first day of break week but im starting to miss the iron already. damn. tomorrow i’ll be back in the gym, this time to assist my brother in his workout. i shall NOT tempt myself to squeeze in a workout or two. no way. this rest would do me good, yes?

im patiently waiting in all eagerness to derek’s reply to my request to join Team Scivation. a plan that would work for me to blast those fats sounds really good and that’s exactly what i need, and im thanking derek in advance for that. it’s been such a shitty day in the camp today and i hope to find some silver lining in the form of his reply! how audacious of me, i know.

today was the last gym workout before i take a 1 week break from gym completely to rest my battered body. it’s been a long and arduous 12 weeks since my last 1 week break but here i am, with a better body to show for than the one i had 12 weeks ago. i am eagerly anticipating mr.derek charlebois’ reply if he can come up with a plan for me to get through this plateue and i hope to blast my body in the gym for another 12 weeks after this week’s break.

workout stats

arnold curls - 8kg x 10, 8kg x 12, 8kg x 15 superset w/ rope triceps pushdown 50lbs x 10, 40lbs x 12, 40lbs x 15

hammer curls - 10kg x 10, 10kg x 12, 4kg x 15 superset w/ reversed gripped tricep pushdowns 50lbs x 10, 50lbx x 12, 40lbs x 12

closed gripped rope curls - 40lbs x 10, 40lbs x 12, 30lbs x 15 superset w/ dips 20 x 3 sets.

closed gripped ez bar curls - 20kg x 10, 10kg x 12, 10kg x 15 superset w/ closegripped smith bench 50kg x 10, 40kg x 12, 30kg x 15

it was an awesome way to cap off my last workout before the week-long break as i totally annihilated my arms in the gym today. concentrated much on form and got the best pump i’ve gotten in awhile. awesome, saha. ill be performing cardio once or twice per day during the break. it’s going to be darn hard to resist the temptation of going to the gym but im sure the rest will pay dividends. i was tempted to throw in a cheat meal today as it’s carb refeed day but thought otherwise because i want to spare myself agony/guilt i’ll feel tomorrow when i wake up. so screw that. sweet potatoes and oatmeal will suffice.

part 2 because my shoulders are still sore as hell! im supposed to be doing arms in my army camp today but the dumbells are out of sorts and thus ill get back tomorrow and crunch out a solid arms workout in the usual gym. tomorrow was supposed to be the start of rest week but now that week shall start on monday. yesterday’s shoulder workout was so much of a blast that today it’s hard to move my arms about in a free manner. my traps are killing me as well. now that’s the feeling that i’ve come to embrace lately. pain. not that im a sadist or whatever, but pain denotes success in the gym the previous day. that’s how i rate a previous workout i guess.

so today i woke up and did cardio in a fasted state for 45 minutes on my stationary bike. in the middle of the workout it dawned upon me that i’ve been doing cardio 7 days this week when i was supposed to do only 5. oh well, extra cardio sessions won’t kill me, will they?

my mother’s constantly been asking when am i ever going to eat her cookings at home or when am i ever going to eat normal food that normal people eat. the answer i give her doesn’t really please her but being the most wonderful mother on earth she is, she’s resigned to the fact that this is my lifestyle and constantly gives me (monetary) support. i love her much for that.

and then there’s my brother. i wouldn’t know what i would do without him as my gym partner. we went through a barren spell in terms of a sibling relationship, you know, we had our own lives and all that. but right now, gym is bonding us together closer than ever before. my baby brother is 17 and i wished i was half as enthusiastic as how he is about gymming when i was his age. but hey, better late than never. i love the way we enter the gym together. we always mean business and don’t chat/yack/play around. we grind out sets after sets, reps after reps and we push each other to our limits. i love my brother for all that he is.

today marks 5 weeks since i touched junk food at all. and i am growing more and more accustomed to my usual food of broccoli, chicken breasts, grapefruits, protein shakes and almonds. and the time i "cheat" is during carb refeed days every 3rd day with the addition of oatmeal and sweet potato. now that im nearly 10 weeks out from my march 31st deadline, i shall shift the refeed days to every 4th day. yup, every 4th day from now on. let’s see how my body responds to that and the addition of added cardio AND the grand introduction of thermogenic fatburners in the form of MAP Arson. this sounds fun.