sNEMatii’s BodyBlog

OMG, when will it end? When will they trade in their sneakers for Ding Dongs and Ho Hos?

Someone wake me up when this nightmare is over…..some time in February when they are selling Valentine’s day candy.

 I can’t help it…I want to be nice, but I can’t. I’m reallly really trying…

I was pretty happy with my scale weight last week, but it hasnt moved an inch this week. I’m having major self-doubt. But I have to keep reminding myself that my goal is not weight-loss but body recompostition. I would be happy at 130 with a lower body fat percentage..I’m not asking for no 9% bf ( I happen to cherish my menses, even though they are a pain) since I do not plan to compete. I think I need to switch my goal from ‘body recompostion’ to ‘body recompostion and mind re-conditoning’. Society constantly dictates ‘lose weight’…but looking on BB.com and seeing amazing bodys at my same height but at higher weight, I realized that it’s not about the scale…and besides, there was a point were I was only 5lbs less than this and I looked terrible…poster child for ’skinny fat’.

So, throw the scale back into the linen closet and trust your trainer…he know what he’s doing. The proof is in the mirror and the size 4 jeans.

End of rant….well, not really a rant. Pep talk to thy self.

" Pleasure is always derived from something outside you, whereas joy arises from within. The very thing that gives you pleasure today wil give you pain tomorrow, or it will leave you, so its absence will give you pain. And what is so often referred  to as love may be pleasurable and exciting for a while, but it is an addictive clinging, an extremely needy condition that can turn the opposite at the flick of a switch.

Many ‘love’ relationships after the initial euphoria has passed, actually oscillate between ‘love’ and hate, attraction and attack. "

I just wanted to share this paragraph from my favorite book because I had a whirlwind ’whatever-you-wanna-call-it’ that is described exactly by the paragraph. Now I’ve come full circle and realized that it wasn’t healthy then and it wasn’t going to get any better if we stuck it out. For now, I’m at peace, no ill will, here.

Accept and let it go.