rustycroft’s BodyBlog

So I’m pumped and ready to gain muscle. I have never really been afraid to gain muscle. Yes I’ve had a few irrational thoughts of turning into a man by pumping too much iron, but those are unfortunate regualr thoughts that we as women will have regarding our body. We have similar thoughts about being too fat, too skinny, cellulite, loose skin, unwanted facial and body hair, etc. I could go on all day. With this in mind I can see why there are so many articles dedicated to destroying myths and concerns that we have regarding weight lifting.

But what about the rest of us. The ones who read article after article encouraging us to lift heavy and grow strong. Whats there for us who now in turn want to grow muscle, get stronger, lift heavy. where are the articles giving us instruction on doing exactly those things that we are not supposed to fear. Do we read the men’s articles? Isn’t that a little contradictory?

Now I have read a couple (emphasis on couple) articles on gaining muscle specifically for women. I especially liked one Marika Johansson did about five muscle building workouts for women. I will be using one of those for my workout template for the next few weeks. But is that it? Am I missing something?

Don’t get me wrong I love, LOVE, LOVE LOVE this site and all the many wonderful articles I have read and gained knowledge and inspiration from. This is more of a plea to those females out there who have attained great physical gains. Not just fat loss and bikini ready bodies but pure hard unadulterated muscle growth. Please share your thoughts, knowledge, tips, stories, experiences! There is an audience for this and we are starving for it!

I went to the gym today. Worked on chest and triceps. Only got through 1 triceps exercise before I succombed to a splitting headache. I don’t know whether it was caffiene withdrawal or maybe I didn’t have many carbs or a combo of both but my workout was cut short. But I think the first workout after any kind of a break is always the hardest. Now that I have gotten that out of the way I can get back into the swing of things.

Ok, I’m not completely at bottom, but i’m close. i’ve totally gone off my diet, ate tons of junk and have only been to the gym once in the last 2 weeks and that was just a treadmill session (guilty as charged). I’m having all kinds of fibro pains, I’m tired and draggy all the time and all I want to do is sleep. I know I felt best when I was following a body building plan even when i was sore and achy from workouts. Knowing that I am going to try again. Starting right now. when you’re this low the only direction you can go is up.

I just wanted to thank everyone who had kind words to say when I was ready to give up. I did kind of give up for a while. But the important thing is that I’m getting back up with a renewed zest for all things fitness. I’ve always known that when I start something I jump in it with my whole heart really believing I can overhaul my life overnight and then get easily discouraged when things don’t happen as fast as I would like. I was reminded that it is all a work in progress and I didnt get this size overnight so its not going to change overnight.

I’m so frustrated right now. I’m tired and achy. The scale at the gym has me weighing like 15 pounds more than my scale at home. I don’t see any changes. And all want to do is go get a cheesecake and eat the whole thing. Better yet, a six pack or two. Im gonna try to keep going. Thats all I can do right now.

Lately I have spent a small fortune on supplements and equipment. I’m broke. Very broke. So I have decided to cut back on a few things. The first thing to go is going to be all these supplements, just for a while. After I finish what Ive got I’m only going to order protein and Hydroxycut max for a while. The protein I’m using now is a bit on the expensive side but It has a lot of stuff in it and it tastes great. So I think I will just stick with. I have also been hitting the forums for ideas on cutting costs on nutrition, so I use  most if not all the suggestions like stockpiling sale items, cutting coupons, and sticking with basics like oats, eggs, etc. As far and training goes. I don’t have a gym membership or a personal trainer. Ive been doing this part solely on my own anyway. I do have a set of adjustible dumbells as I get stronger I will add weight. I will shop aroung for used equipment like benches and maybe i’ll spring for a adjustible barbell set. I have a netflix subscription that i can use to rent some exercise dvds. I’ll see how this goes for a while. Looks like I will not only be transforming my body but my wallet as well.

I’m feeling great right. I have more energy, pants are fitting looser, face looks a bit leaner, feel stronger and more confident than ever. Get on the scale, higher reading than the last time I weighed myself. Get on it again, different weight, still higher. Do this a couple more times all different weights but all higher than previous weight of 270. Yes this could be several things, water, what I ate, hormones, it was a different time of day, maybe my scale needs a new battery. Either way I’m happy to say that I didn’t freak out. Im not even upset. I feel better and I know I look better. And this is just the beginning of a long journey. So instead of caring about what that silly little red flashing number says and spending time obsessing over it, I will spend my time working toward my goals. The scale is on its way to the dumpster. I will not weigh myself again until the end of my contest, and then after that who knows. Maybe right before contest preperation…

Since I saw the Hydroxycut contest I’ved been focused on nothing but losing weight. Which I guess when you want to compete in anything and especially if you truly want to win you need to have focus. But I have noticed a few old habits slowly creeping back into my life that I thought would be gone once i tried to do this healthfully. Like weighing myself several times a day and getting fed up with the scale. Wanting to skip meals just to save calories which would always lead to a binge.  And just a general feeling of wanting to give up because of self doubt. Telling myself there is no way I can win, people are going to make fun of your pictures, and especially the self defeating ‘go ahead and quit you know your going to anyway’. But the difference this time is I don’t want to just do this for a contest. I don’t want to go on this ‘diet’ just to lose weight and at the end gain it all back plus some. I want this to be my life. I want to truly be healthy. I want to inspire others to be healthy. I want to spread the message that we all have the ability to change the course of our lives for the better. This isn’t a diet. This is a way of life. I’m not just burning calories I’m getting stronger, leaner, and healthier. And I’m not relying on some new magic pill to do everything for me. My supplements are to aid in my journey. To help me attain my goals. And yes, I do want a smokin hot body!!! So I will continue to focus on losing weight, but I’m also going to focus on making the lifestyle changes permanent.

Next week will be 1 of my first obstacles to overcome. I will be working over 12 hours a day 2 days next week. I haven’t done that in a while so I’m afraid it will leave me drained and unable to fully workout like I need to. Not to mention trying to fit in all my meals and properly space out my vitamins and supplements. But I will get through it. I am just thankful that I have these oppurtunities and I’m gonna stick to it no matter what.

Just a couple more days until I take my progress pic. I had a bad day and I’m dreading taking the pics. I have lost 5lbs. But today I was rushed and didn’t get a chance to eat a good breakfast or fix lunch. I ended up eating protein bars which led me to be hungry which led me to a fried chicken leg and the skin off another. I missed my second dose of Hydroxycut max, I didnt get a chance to take my vitamins, drink a protein shake or take my fish oil. I don’t feel like working out right now. I feel terrible. But I guess I will just have to learn to better deal with days like these. Unfortunately there will be more days like this. Im just gonna go to sleep and pray that tomorrow will be better.