Running Forward!

So yesterday was a little crazy…most of it in a very good way.

I participated in our community’s 2nd "Iron Spouse Challenge"…essentially they thought of all the ’soldier stuff’ and stuck it all together and those of us who signed up got to do it

It ROCKED. We had teams of 4, but 2 of them dropped out yesterday morning cause their husbands were coming in, and i got to meet 2 new people. Yay. Left my kids at home with my husband(thank GOD he’s home after 13 months in Iraq!), and we started at 7:30. Did a PT test(pushups and situps), then an obstacle course that involved a log carry, back crawl(that thing is a b-ee-otch!), litter carry, then running through tires. I did a whole hell of a lot better than i did in September! Then we had a 1.5 mile ruck march…wearing IBA’s, carrying a weighted rucksack, and dummy M16s. Up a freakin hill..and i’m not joking. There was one girl on the team that wouldnt(couldnt?) run, and i kept encouraging her…(skinniest girl on the team!)…and she stayed with it, walking at a good pace. Towards the end, i kept telling her that we’re all more capable then we could ever imagine. She looked at me and goes "I see you around here running all the time, and how you’ve persevered"…and she RAN! I was so proud!
Anyway, then we did a grenade orietation course, having to find the soldiers who had questions about grenades(which we had to guess at..i mean..answer..lol), then got to a course where they set up targets, and we threw from 3 different positions. Holy crap at the difference that working out made from last September(when i did a similar challenge). As we go up to the M16 qualifying course, i see my 2 little boys(they’re 6 and 4). My husband had to go to formation. Of course. Adapt and overcome, right? lol. So they were with me, stayed behind me while i shot the fun laser type m16’s, then did a 2 mile run with me(ok, i did carry a 50pd 4yr old on my shoulders the whole way), then hung out while me and my team did a paintball competition.

After all of that, THEN they wanted to run some more. So we ran laps in our little area. Last Sept when i got done with our challenge, i could barely move, couldnt breathe, nothing. (*and it was STILL an improvement from where i’d been*), and this time i’m doing suicides with my boys?!

It was an incredible day. Hopefully I’ll go to MEPS before the end of the month to sign for the Navy, and i’m crazy excited about that. When my husband brought my kids to me, or when i started out the day with plans changing left and right, i thought of that. I wont be able to say "oh, i cant come in today, i have kids", or whatever else faces me…that’ll be my job, my life, and i’ll have to take it as it comes.

Working out like i have has given me the strength to say "I CAN do this!". No matter what. No matter what…hell, if i can do pullups, or burpees, or whatever else Crossfit throws at me, then surely i can think on my feet and do a challenge with my children in tow.

I used to think that strength was signified by bulging muscles and high bench press numbers. Maybe that’s the case. But i saw strength in my girlfriend who pushed herself to run when she thought she had nothing left in the tank. I saw strength in women who give their all even though their husbands have been gone for 13 months. I saw strength in my children, who over the course of their lifetimes, have learned to just go with the flow, adapting and cooperating with the chaos that is sometimes life. And for the first time in my life…i saw strength in myself. I may not look like some of these women*yet!*, or be able to knock out the pushups like my trainer did…but i did what I was called to do, no matter the obstacles. And i believed that I was worth it…

That’s true strength.

So last night, i was watching The Biggest Loser Australia on YouTube. I’ve watched it before…and it was fairly interesting, so why not….eh..not anymore..but it did get me to thinking..
At the beginning, these 2 chicks are crying cause they’re leaving their babies..and acting soooo pitiful. First of all, my husband has spent 25 months in Iraq in the past 3.5 years…so i dont feel sorry for someone going off for a few weeks. Secondly…i’m thinking "wow..must be nice! Someone else taking care of your kids! Someone else doing your responsibilities! The only "job" you’re gonna have is to eat right and exercise and lose weight in an environment especially set up for that and only that??!!" Seriously…not feeling sorry for these girls.

But it made me think a lot. Getting on that show, whether in Oz or the US takes a lot of work. There’s auditions, and cuts, etc, etc. It’s plain hard to even get on the show. My thoughts…if you worked half as hard trying to actually lose weight as you did to get on the show…maybe you wouldnt need to??

My mom died a few years ago, at age 39, because she worked and worked…and was finally able to have gastric bypass surgery. The complications from it killed her…but she’d been told over and over again that she "needed" it, and she kept saying that "she’d tried everything". Well…maybe it’s cause i was young…but i really truly believe had she put the effort into eating just a little healthier, and moving just a little more instead of worrying about getting the surgery..maybe she’d be alive. Who knows.

It’s a "victim" mentality…trust me, i’ve fallen under it for years. Both sides of my family is big(save for my father himself), and i was 200 pds by the time i was 10, wore a DD bra in 6th grade( oh yea…THAT was fun..not…:) ), had 3 pregnancies before i was 21…etc, etc. I thought the cards were stacked against me…..but that’s BS!

I truly believe that no one has to be unhealthy if they dont want to be. I may never look like some of these girls on here…i may never be 115 like the charts say i should be. But I also dont have to be unhealthy. I dont have to be 267 where i started….i dont have to be the "fat girl". Ok..so what if I couldnt run a mile last year…i could jog for 50 steps..so by dangit, i did.Then i walked till i could breathe again.Lather, rinse, repeat…..until those 50 steps became 100, and those became a lap, and those became a mile….I’ve run 4 5k races since Oct 08, and am looking forward to memorializing fallen heros in a rememberance run at the end of May.
Maybe not everyone has the motivation that I do..maybe not everyone is forced into the reality that fat=dead like i have..

but no one HAS to be unhealthy…no one is a victim…no matter what your genes have passed on, or your environment, or your facilities. We have a choice…we have a choice to start, and we have a choice every minute of every day to make decisions that get our bodies, minds, spirits healthier…and I needed a nice reminder of that…thanks to the folk on Bodyspace for being that for me!!

Ok…so I love fun…just like big ol kid. And also like a kid, I have a bit of ADHD and get extremely bored and distracted really quickly.
When working out is fun, i push myself harder and faster and all that…therefore, the gym’s "boot camp" class that is offered 3x a week is right up my alley. It’s different each time, and usually if I’m not having "fun" then I feel like I’m dying, which in a sick way, is fun.

For example, we’ve done workouts where each one of us ran 1 mile, together(4 of us) we’d do 800 squats, 400 pushups, and 200 jumping pullups, then run another mile. One day it was 50 sumo deadlifts, 20 burpees, run 400 meters….3 times for time. Stuff like that. Our trainer uses Crossfit as an inspiration and lead with many of our workouts, and I love the way Crossfit can be scaled for housewives all the way to bodybuilders(ok..i fall in the first category…but maybe onnnneee day..lol).

Today freakin ROCKED, and I wanted to blog about it. A burpee is similar to an "up-down" that football players do. You get down into a pushup position, do your pushup, bring your feet forward to stand, then jump up(similar to a jumping jack). A "flying burpee" is the burpee, except when you jump, you jump from your sqaut forward. Yes…it’s as hard as it sounds…

Our trainer has crazy amounts of confidence in us(us being 4-8 ladies that have been doing this class now for a few months), and today we set out to do flying burpees for 400meters(that’s one lap around the track).

Our warmup…stretches, walking a quarter mile, more stretches, 30 squats, 30 pushups, 30 situps, run a quarter mile….doesnt it feel good when your warmup is more than most people do all day?

Then we set off to fly…ok..maybe "hop" is a more accurate term. After 179 of those bad boys, some earthworm residue, and blood on my knees and hands(cause many of them, i had to do ‘girl style’ on the pushups)….i crossed my lap in 21minutes and some change. The only person that made it under time. And this is me, weighing about 180ish today….After that, we ran a lap, then i ran another one for good measure.

Maybe it’s bragging..maybe not. I just know that nearly 2 years ago, i couldnt walk up my stairs. I hated the way i looked in the mirror, but even moreso, hated the way i felt. I’m still thick, still a big girl. But dang it…i can out "burpee" anyone who calls me fat…and in my mind, that’s an accomplishment

Ok…so I write blogs on Myspace and Facebook, but there’s a limited amount of people that read those, *and* i know my audience.

Guess this one is just a glorified version of talking to myself!

Anyway…i joined the site a couple months ago, had no idea how to work it, and got bored. Started taking some pictures in early March and *gasp* saw some definition in my shoulders and legs! So back to Bodyspace, where it’s ok to post half naked pictures under the guise of "everyone look at my progress!" So that’s exactly what i’ve done

The comments have been INCREDIBLE! Never in a million years did i think that anyone would see me as motivating, as inspiring, as anything but the ‘fat girl’ really. And i wont lie, the ego boost is awesome! All the "wow you look great" comments, and i start to believe them, even though i have a ways to go.

Soo…during Jan and Feb…i slacked off. Husband home on R+R, friend from the states visiting, crazy awesome vacation, and overwhelming possibilities…blah blah blah…excuses!! And i gained from 180-188 during those 2 months. Oops! Wrong direction girlfriend!  So, beginning of March, a fire got lit under my behind, and i told myself that i HAVE to do this. Started journalling, and exercising, and wow..imagine that, the weight started coming off again. You know how most people give up their New Year’s Resolutions 1 week in? Yea…that was me. On the 11th, i’m like "eh…i can have this chocolate. I can drink a liter of Orange Juice…i’ll just burn it off tomorrow". This site turned that attitude around in 1 weekend! No way i could treat my body like that when so many people were encouraging me! Running is my freedom, my release(hey…i’m not getting laid…might as well have something, right??! LOL). Decided to start that up again outside, we got some sunshine over here, and I set out on the 5k route on Monday(the 16th). Hooah! I did it. Tuesday was sick, Wednesday i told "sick" to get away from my butt and ran it again! I ran them simply because of this site, of my new friends here. And i’m motivated and got my workout lined up to do tonight.

So if you’ve made it this far, thank you. Even if you’ve never commented or even been on my page. It’s people like you, that get people like me off our fat a**es to feel better, look better, BE better for ourselves and those around us! Gotta run!(literally!)