The Journey

History teaches us that to create something majestic and profound we must first start with the foundation.  Not many projects have come to fruition by jumping head first into the last phase of the drawing board.  Sometimes we take 2 steps forward and 1 step back to accomplish what we must.  This is the art of discipline.

Courage throughout history has brought heroes to the top of mountains to inspire us all.  It is this courage that transcends the mind to be better.  I am inspired by those that walk before us who have built there majestic fortresses of self-worth from the very foundation of discipline and perseverance.  I am reminded so many times of why I live the way I live, the reason I push so hard, and the calm of letting go of failures so easily.  Every risk that I take puts one more stone in the wall of my own majestic creation.

I am always building.  My cathedral of patience is built by laying each stone in the right manner, and with the right amount of care.  Every detail being fixated and obsessed over until the creation of who I am is conjured.  The skin will tear off my fingers and the bar will be heavy on my back.  This means nothing because the fortress will always remain, waiting for the next stone to fall into place.

Just a quick entry on the results of the last 2 weeks.  Interestingly, eating the same number of calories now does not keep my current weight.  Charting my progress I am consistently down 1 lb. each week for the past 2 weeks.  I don’t like this.  I will be adding 250 calories to my program in the form of carbs, so that I can continue my slightly above maintenance gains.  I can also tell in the gym that the amount of calories I am eating (~2600) is not enough to sustain the best workouts as my energy levels aren’t as great.  

Granted, I’m not entirely upset about losing the weight because it seems it’s entirely bodyfat, but for the goals that I want, I don’t want to be moving down.  I want to be going up.  It’s not an all out bulk (excuse to get fat) it’s eating slightly above maintenance to grow into a weight, i.e. being 147 at 9% rather than 10%.  In essence you have gained muscle.  I guess you could call it bulking in the technical sense because I am above calories needed to maintain weight, but I prefer to call it "growing into a weight."

Anyway, hopefully the addition of the extra calories will help maintain/gain again, and not be losing so fast.  I don’t like losing 1lb. a week at all, unless I am all out cutting.

Diet:

Workout Days (5 days a week)

Meal 1 - 1.5 cups cooked oatmeal, 8 egg whites, 1 egg yolk
Meal 2 - 4-5 oz serving of extra lean ground turkey breast
Meal 3 - 6-9oz serving boneless skinless chicken breast, 1 cup brown rice, 1 cup french cut green beans
Meal 4 - 1 oz of pecans, 1 4oz can of low sodium tuna
Meal 5 (Pre-workout) - 1 cup cooked oatmeal, 1 kashi chewy bar, 1 scoop ON Whey protein
PWO Shake - 1.25 scoops ON Whey Protein, 1/2 cup raw grinded oats, 1 banana
Meal 6 - 6-9oz boneless skinless chicken breast, 7oz of sweet potato (no skin), 3oz fresh cut broccoli florets
Meal 7 (pre-sleep) - 1 scoop ON Casein Protein, 1 tablespoon Almond butter
I take 1 fish oil capsule with dinner which is 10 calories.

Total Calories ~ 2760-2775

Non workout Days (2 days)

Meal 1 - 1.5 cups cooked oatmeal, 8 egg whites, 1 egg yolk
Meal 2 - 4-5oz serving extra lean ground turkey breast, 1 cup cooked oatmeal, 3 oz fresh cut broccoli florets
Meal 3 - 4-5oz serving extra lean ground turkey breast, 1 cup cooked oatmeal, 3 oz fresh cut broccoli florets
Meal 4 - 1 4oz can of low sodium tuna, 1oz pecans, 1 kashi bar
Meal 5 - 1 scoop ON Whey protein, 1oz pecans
Meal 6 - 4-5oz serving of extra lean ground turkey breast, 3oz fresh cut broccoli florets
Meal 7 - 1 scoop ON Casein protein, 1 tablespoon Almond Butter
Throughout the day 6-7 fish oil caps taken with each meal

Total Calories ~ 2430-2460

A shutter.  You get shivers down your spine.  Your teeth chatter with the coming breeze.  It’s a change of season and your old sweaters now become your best friends.  You put on more and more clothes to accommodate your body.  It’s change, but it’s just different.  It’s not worse.

I welcome the cold.  The time when the gym is actually at its quietest.  All those "wannabes" finally get the hell out, and there is room to actually breath again.  I welcome this change because as seasons come and go, I grow stronger and wiser.  I leave old relics of myself behind and learn new and exciting ways to create pain and anguish on my body. What fun!

You can go cuddle up at your fireplace with your christmas wreaths and your halloween costumes.  I’ll take my chances with the bitter cold crushing iron.  I’m an addict.  I can’t get enough.  Hot or cold, whatever temperature it is, I’m there busting my ass, taking it to the next level.  Never satisfied with "just o.k."  I’ll give it 100% or nothing at all.  I’ll slip into my hoodie and my skullcap, and make my own way.

Sometimes the days and weeks blur together in one seemingly collective mess.  You’re so caught up in the daily grind you forget to dream and to make goals for yourself.  It’s hard.  I know.  When you are payin’ your dues and putting the time in, the last thing on your mind is goal setting.

I find those are the most important times to take a step back and draw new conclusions and create new paths to follow.  To me, becoming the best version of myself is outlining who/what I want to become and following through with that plan.  Never giving in to the masses, the ones that would tell you that what you seek is impossible to find.  "Impossible" is completely out of my dictionary now.  Now the days and weeks mean something more to me the a mess of hours and minutes.  Time is the source of making the impossible possible for me.  Time spent training, eating, recovering, and learning.

Consequently,  I am drawn to the path of the solitary lifestyle.  Life, to me, is not about surrounding yourself with people that give you joy, it is about you creating joy within yourself so that those around you are filled with joy.  Thus, I am better, stronger, more powerful, than before and because of this those around me are as well.  Where do we find this joy within ourselves?  Well, I propose that everyone has their calling and people know themselves much better than I can make a generalization about.  So I don’t assume to know at all.  What I do know is that the strong-willed will always carry the heavy weight of the world upon their shoulders looking down at shadows of iron between their feet.