The Journey

I’ve come so far in my own personal goals of fitness that there is no turning back.  I have put so much time and passion into these goals that it seems wrong of me to let go.  I don’t think I ever could anymore.  Before it was easy, before I knew anything about diet, cardio, and the proper way to weight train.  It was easy because I felt like there was nothing to it.  Just eat whatever and lift whatever and get big.  How wrong I was!  When I finally realized that the path is so hard and so brutal, that’s when I actually started enjoying it more.  The sacrifice involved with becoming a bodybuilder is so intense that it consumes your life.  I am far from any of the goals I wish to attain, but I know that the journey thus far has been so enlightening that it has revealed a whole other side of myself.  A confidence that I never knew was there.  Not because I think my body looks better, but because I understand what "sacrifice" really is.  The life is hard and it continually challenges me, but I am one of those that rises to challenges as I have found.  There is nothing we cannot do if we truly set our hearts upon it.  I will attain my goals, whether it takes a year, 2 years, 3 years…I am patient.  Now that I truly know how much cost the journey takes, it is time to pay my dues.  Nothing stops me.

I wonder if anyone else has this fear.  The fear of walking into the gym at your normal time and it’s absolutely packed.  I am fearing that after the 1st of the year people will make their resolutions to lose weight and the gym will be so freaking crowded that I will have to start going at 430 am in the morning.  I hate this because I have trained my body to work out the best at my own certain time.  What’s worse is the amount of time you have to spend waiting for each machine.  Ugh…from my past experience it usually only lasts a month, but for this month it bugs the crap out of me.  If there is one pet peeve that irks me the most it is having to interrupt my intense workouts to weight for a bench/machine/squat rack/dumbbells.  Anyone else feel this way?

When you’re bulking it’s quite easy to be tempted by all the holiday goodies to eat somewhat unclean.  I’ve kept very good will power against the foods my body really doesn’t need.  This week will be a week off from creatine, almost kinda like cycling so I’ll probably get my abs back, but there is so much food here that it’s hard not to "want."  The journey is hard, and I have so much further to go, so why give in now?  I’ve stayed steady for so long.  It shouldn’t be that hard to stay steady some more.  I’m pretty much calculating calories in my head as I eat them.  Making sure that I eat 6-8 times a day and never over 3100 calories.  I’ll be hitting the spa/resort’s gym today, which is fairly decent, so I’ll get a nice hard Bi’s/Tri’s/Forearms workout in.  I’ll basically have access to a gym the whole time I’m here, so that’s pretty awesome.  I can’t back down!!! So far to go!!!

So I always wondered what 3100 calories would feel like.  Well, now I know.  It feels freaking fantastic, but still….no weight gain.  Holy mother of god!  How much do I have to eat!!?!?!?

I guess there are a few factors that hinder my weight gain:

1. I do a 30 minute run EVERYDAY.  This is the most hindering factor, but I am not will to give it up!  After a good run after lifting, I feel like I conquer the world.  The endorphins released make me feel amazing.

2. I eat completely clean.  3100 calories there is only about 63-65 grams TOTAL fat, 11.1 grams saturated fat.  I don’t want to change this either.

3. I eat every 2-3 hours…WITHOUT FAIL!  I will never stop doing this.  Ever.

4. I don’t "technically" take a rest day.  My 1 day of rest I still run for 30 minutes and do calves/abs.  OK OK OK…some may think this is overtraining, but my body lets me do it without any hiccups or cramps.  This is also just my "current" routine.  I try to switch things up every 4-6 weeks.  So I’ll probably go back to a 4-5 day routine with 2 days off a week, soon.

Well, there you have it.  Honestly, I would prefer just to be able to eat a whole assload of food (i.e. 3500 calories) than change the way I work out.  I’m stubborn, I know.  So SUE ME!

I know what most of you are thinking.  Just cut down on the cardio!  It’s weird like that.  I have started to love running after my workout.  Nothing makes me feel more relaxed and calm then a good freaking run.  I run everyday for about 30 minutes.

It would seem that I am not consuming enough calories to gain weight, though.  This isn’t a problem, but I just wish I could gain without having to eat as much…haha.  That sounds stupid.  Most people would LOVE to be able to eat more, but eating more requires more planning and such.  I usually calculate my calories for the next day the day before.  I’ve been progressively raising my calories eaten per day.  Even at 143 lbs. eating 2400 calories that isn’t enough.  I’ve been progessively upping my calories for the past 2-3 weeks.  Looks like I might need to get up to about 2600-2800.  Not a problem really, I’ll just eat bigger portions.  I eat in a very very clean way, I just need to eat more.  I’m going to raise my calories to about 2500 for the next few days and see how that works.  Then, if I’m still not gaining, it’s 2600.  I refuse to stop running!!!!  I love it too much!

I’ve been tracking my workouts on the workout tracker for awhile now.  A little achievement for me!  I hit 100 workouts!!! I’ve been lifting for longer than that, but it’s kinda cool to see that number…hehe.

When I first started back into lifting after about a 6-8 month break I was primarly concerned with trimming the fat/while adding lean muscle.  It is interesting to note that I got to where I wanted to be and did it with a considerable amount of patience and determination.  Now that the worst is over and I can look in the mirror and say…."ok…I am even less happy."  I notice that the overall size of my appearance has diminished greatly.  This is mostly in part to losing a shit ton of bodyfat in the 11 weeks that I was cutting.

I know that my strength in general is 10 times better than it used to be when I weighed more lbs.  I have hit new milestones in my training as far as reps/weight is concerned, but I want more.  My main goal now is size.  When it comes down to it, size matters. (refering to overall muscle density of course .  This is what we all strive for.  Work our whole lives towards.  That extra pound of lean muscle that razor sharp line down the middle of our chest defined, by huge pectorals etc. etc.  This is the goal for the next 2 months of my life.  Size.  Time to EAT again!!!

I read a lot about bodybuilding and lifting online.  I have found that the most complete and thorough resource for scientific and cumulative data (besides bodybuilding.com) is www.exrx.net.  I’ve navigated through the target weight calculators and everything else on that page and they continually add information that gives so much insight into the life.  Pages and pages on form, and muscle groups and exercises.  It’s crazy.  I love that page.  There’s a page on there that has a girl doing power cleans with 135 lbs.  I was like holy crapola, that’s killer!

So ever since I got back on creatine (Green Magnitude) I have noticed a few things good and not so good.  Here’s my list of Pros followed by my list of Cons:

Pros:

1. Recovery time is cut down tremendously.  I can workout harder and longer and go everyday (which I do).
2. Heavier lifts.  As long as the calories in my food intake are on par my lifts are astounding.  According to strength standards for my weight at the advanced level I should only be able to get about 220-225.  I maxed the other day at 238 (12 reps of 165)
3. Density in muscles.  With more water going to my muscles I have found that they look fuller and have more mass.
4. Hardly any fatigue.  This goes along with #1, but I felt like I should put this seperate because after a hard workout the next day I still feel great.

Cons

1. The most immediate thing I see on myself is the water bloating in my abdominal area.  As soon as I started taking creatine I saw my ab muscles fade rather quickly.  Over the thanksgiving break I didn’t have my creatine and within 4-5 days my abs were hard as rock.  Fortunately, we are in winter time now and I won’t really be taking my clothes off outside (unless I was a crazy bastard).  The only way to counteract this is not to drink just 1 gallon of water, but more like 2 gallons of water a day.  When I do that most of the bloat dissappears.  Most days I rarely can get that much water in me.  So for cutting purposes (when I start to cut again) it’s going to be bye, bye creatine.  Unless I can figure out a way to get 2 gallons every single day.  Ugh…
2. Tracking your weight because just a little bit more difficult.  Since there is a couple pounds of water, you have to account for that.

Other than that, there are no cons.  Honestly, I can deal with those cons.  Especially when bulking.  I just hate how much water I have to take in to be able to see my abs.  That’s a pain in the freaking ass.  Oh well, worth it though because I can train like a freaking mad man.

On a side note I’ve gained my first 1 1/2 pounds.  I hope to get to about 148-150.  I’m still doing a 30 minute jog at speed 5.2 everyday so when I start cutting again I won’t need to worry about getting used to the cardio thing.  Plus after a nice run I always feel great!

Well, it’s about that time to start my clean bulk.  I’ve set my new goals and am going to try real damn hard to hit them.  It seems that what I put my mind to, I can most certainly achieve as I have noticed.  Through this bulk I am really going to go for size and depth in my muscles.  Fortunately, I gained some strength and power through my cut because I didn’t go TOO low on calories.

I’m going to do a gradual calorie increase so as to not put too much "bad" weight on too soon.  I think my goal weight is going to be about 148 and still be about 7-8% bodyfat.  This will be tough because I’ll have to keep the cardio pretty diligent, but my body has become so used to cardio that running is actually FUN for me and easy.
I want to really add some size to my body especially my arms and legs.  They seem to be the two bodyparts that always lack with me.  Legs usually are very slow because I do so much cardio, which I don’t mind at all because slow progress is STILL progress and arms, well…who knows…I’m aiming for 14 inch arms (unflexed).  I’ve updated my lifting goals too.  For a guy that’s only 142lbs, I can actually bench/squat/deadlift pretty damn good weight with strict form, but I want more.  Always wanting more!!!

With strict attention to form, I will be rotating strength and conditioning weeks.  My rep ranges for my strength week will be 6-8 on all compound exercises, and for general conditioning they will be in the 8-12 range.  I will be mostly rotating between a 4 day split and a 5 day split.  This seems to work with me quite nicely and I make consistent gains this way.  I will also be rotating the volume in my workouts.  On strength days I will reduce the volume greatly to just 3-4 exercises for 1 bodypart with maximum 3 sets per exercises.  On conditioning days I will do about 5-6 exercises.
Any suggestions on adding good size/mass/density to my muscles are greatly appreciated.  I will keep my progress updated all the time.  Wish me luck!!