Body Project

Yesterday sucked.  I thought getting our dog put down would kill my wife and i would be fine.  LOL.  Boy was i wrong.  He was 14, a black cocker named Shadow, and a good dog.  He had many health issues and the crapping in the house was the tipping point and even the vet recommended against allowing that with small kids in the house, mainly due to worry of worms.  Either way, it was Niagra Falls for me as soon as his eyes started to close when he got the injection at the vet.  he vet stayed for a few minutes to check his heart and then left.  I sat with Shadow and just petted his old head and cried like a baby for about 15 mins.  And i did this on and off untill i went to bed last night.  It is amazing how much you can miss a dog.  My wife is holding up great by comparison, and my 2 little girls just know he went to be an angel and live with God because he was sick.  I told my mother I hope to God there is a God and heaven and all these people and our pets will be there one day.  My mom got kind of pissed like i doubted there is a God, i told her I don’t, just had a heavy heart, and hurt likes the company of fear and doubt, so just all hit me.  Anyway, i know he is better off.  But I will always remember the last moment with him, and will remember the good times we had with him.  Rest easy my little baby gorilla, other wise known as Shadow the dog.

I am now stuck at 205.  I have a small layer of fat left that seems to be clinging to me like, let’s see, what was the line Jesse Ventura used in "Predator", I think it was "dug in like a Alabama tick on a dog" or something like that, lol.  Speaking of dogs, i am getting ours out down today due to multiple factors, so not having a good day already.

I am carbing for a few days and adding more back in as i think my body is revolting against the low carbs I am doing but not giving up the fat.  I also think the low fat, low carbs has slowed my natural test and that has slowed fat loss as well.  I am going to skip cardio for a few days and letmy body rest, then get back to 2 a day cardio next week, and see if i can tighten the diet up a little more.  i am not tryingto get ready for a contest this year, but wantmy abs for my 39th b-day.

My diet consist of 2-3 shakes a day made with liquid egg whites and my other meals being chicken and pasta.  The pasta is whole wheat pasta plain, and gives me about 45 grams of carbs per serving.  So on a standard day i may get 150 grams of carbs, and 300 grams of protein.  Diet is a hard thing to dial in and takes a lot of trial and error, so I should not be so hard on myself.  Hellm i went from 245 fat ass, to 205 and in pretty good shape over the last 5-6 months.  i guess I had more fat than i thought.  I am not so dense that i don’t realize that just like when i got stuck at 213 for 3 weeks, that the less fat i have the harder it will be to lose as the body tries to hold on to it.  Hard to fight the natural processes of the body.

That is it for now.  Hoping to get past the dog issue today, and hopingmy wife will be OK since he has been with her since puppy hood, 14 years, and with me for 10 years as of June 28.  Wish us luck.  Glad the kids are little, 3 and 5.  Will tell them he wentto live with God cause he was sick.  Well, time to get ready for work. 

Unusual compliments today from my buddy at GNC.  We have developed a little bit of dialogue over the last 3-4 months as I have stopped in to buy items.  He said out of all the folks that come in to buy magic pillls for weight loss and muscle gain claiming to be working towards a weight goal, he could see the most changes in me.  Considering he is a young guy, early 20’s, and sees a lot of older folks like me at almost 39 trying to get in shape, it made me feel pretty good.  He asks me a lot of questions since he works out and does not want to let himself go once he is married one of these days.  I laughed and said sometimes life gets in the way, and you make excuses for the food you eat, and not exercising, then your wife tells you you look like a manatee, and you decide to make a change!!  Very nice kid and I hope he takes some of what I have told him to heart.

Really cool thing happened tonight.  Took my kids up to the neighborhood pool for a bit.  I was not afraid to take off my shirt or wear my cool Polo board shorts for trunks.  I have also been hitting the tanning bed a few times a week to get some color.  It was cool to see a few moms with small children checking me out when I took off my shirt.  They were obviously trying to be discreet, but you know when you are being checked out.  It made me feel good.  There were a few other dads at the pool, but they had their shirts on, or were way out of shape.  One aspect is being shaved so the muscles i have gotten show up better.  Anyway, it just felt good to know that i did not feel like a tub of whale sh*# when I got in the pool.  Can’t wait until the six pack is in place, don’t know if I will ever wear a shirt outside again!