Goddamn, I would take it all back in a mother ****in second.
You learn from your mistakes; it’s hard to utter the words “I regret” simply because they don’t make that much sense-you wouldn’t have the understanding you have now if you took it all back and did it over, but maybe the ****ing knowledge and understanding doesn’t mean as much as the experience you missed.
I’m about to turn 27 and if I could go back and do it all over again, I would focus on relationships and pure life enjoyment about 100x more than I have thus far. Being dominant physically doesn’t make up for havin great friends, great memories, and a great girl.
I was sitting around, outside on the table outside my apartment , playin guitar last night in the perfect autumn evening and just wishin this girl, my neighbor, would come out, so I could play for her a bit. The whole time I was thinking to myself “why didn’t I do this like 10 fukin years ago when we were both kids when it would have been so perfect”
This lifting ****, it’s all just been a mask for what I really wanted-which was a certain degree of comfort, acceptance, and even love. I’m on the right path-I’m not going to get off by any means, but if I could do it all over again, I would do it differently, I really would. Now this is my project and it helps me explore life and give something back to society, but it wasn’t then…and it’s probably still some of the former, if I am to be totally honest. I’m actually happy that being big is relatively un-cool these days; it helps put things in perspective.
September 9, 2009 at 9:39 am
If you did it all over again would be you actually to happy with where you would be now?
You can still get "great friends, great memories, and a great girl", can’t you? Just have to wait longer for the memories
September 9, 2009 at 1:27 pm
That’s kind of what I was saying…you don’t really regret, but you think of how it could have been better. Definitely wouldn’t be where I am now.