Little get together last night.
It was nice, but more than that, it was productive aiiiii. I’ve kind of unconsciously come to the conclusion that I need to be more open about my various weak spots. The first being women. The last couple of times I’ve talked about it, I’ve known that my feelings(not my opinions) weren’t going to be real popular, but I figure my actions will be even less popular if I keep having these…tendencies we’ll call them.
I find myself, as I’ve written about before, in the very stereotypical of being the kind of guy who is relatively, if not totally, uninterested in women who are my own age or a few years older, along with women in general that don’t match my definition of what "attractive" is. So anyway, I might have gotten a few people perturbed last night, but hopefully they’re all my friends and they understand…even if it was the first time hanging out with a few of them. Nonetheless, I got a lot of out it. It seems like when you’re open about these things, you learn at a rate that must be 10x the rate learn at when you keep things inside.
So already today I started feeling a bit different, allowing myself to be attracted to women whom I knew my body was definitely attracted to-see that’s the thing, it’s not like I find them unattractive, it’s more that when I think about it, I find IT unattractive…the whole situation-’oh crap, be with them, they’re going to start looking old, I’m going to desperately want out…’ Yup, that’s how it goes in my head.
The one thing I don’t think I will ‘get over’ though is this idea that I’m not 100% sure there is a whole lot of reason to have to be with the same person forever. That seems somewhat limiting to me. I understand that to others, it’s the opposite of limiting, but as of yet it’s not that for me. I’m not particularly attracted to meaningless sex and relationships, but being with one person forever might be letting the pendulum swing a little to far in the other direction.
In other news, I crushed some cross-fit yesterday. We did some "Cindy," and I came in last place. To my defense, that was because I was the only one using some semblance of good form, eller hur Matte, Joel? Eller Eller??!!
August 23, 2009 at 12:45 am
We live and we learn, it’s good that you’re figuring this all out.
BTW, looking thick in your new pictures. How tall are you and what are you weighing in those pics?
August 23, 2009 at 12:51 am
I feel embarrassed. I just noticed a few of your blogs back I asked you how tall you were and you answered. I guess I hadn’t checked back after I’d asked the question. I guess I ask because it doesn’t show up in your actual profile, though, all of your other measurements do.
August 26, 2009 at 1:49 pm
You sound like a single guy who’s not ready to settle down yet with a woman. Not unusual. One woman can be limiting, but a single woman can be deepening. Hope you figure out where on the meaningless sex - life-partner pendulum you like, though that changes over time.