Been a little disoriented lately.
Everything has been going pretty well, but it’s been a bit much lately-and I think it’s showing in my blogs and even my personality. I’ve been a little more aggressive than I feel like I really am lately. That’s usually a sign of some kind of disomfort. On the other hand, I’ve really been making a conscious effort to not ’put people in their place’ when a disagreement arises. Lately, coming out a loser doesn’t bother me all that much. In fact, it’s really what I’ve been longing for, for a while. Throughout my life, I’ve put a lot of pressure on myself to win and be the best and to come out on top(especially in arguments) but even more than that, to impress people. I need a break from that, at least from it’s intensity. People don’t like it and I don’t either. It’s a little difficult though to swallow your knee jerk reactions and do something that you think is theoretically better though. Even more difficult is doing it if you are pretty sure that you are in the right, but think that in this situation what’s best is to just avoid the negativity of the argument. I’ve been particularly bad at this my whole life. Most of the time I’ve been in the wrong though-so that makes this quality of mine even worse.
In other news, I was late to a client the other day and a ruined my whole 1 minute at a time running program. I ran all the way to work which took roughly 10 min and my back was through for the rest of the week. I’m still feelin it. As is usually the case, it worked out for the best because I ended up finding a major leak as a result of it, but it was still damn uncomfortable. You know, I always kind of thought these people were full of it, but I’ve had two dreams now that, upon awakening, immediately gave me the answer I was looking for in regards to my back. I went right to the gym after waking up, did what I needed to do and it felt awesome afterwards and now I also have a fuller understanding of the problem. Pretty cool. Anyways, I’ll talk to you guys later, hope everyone is well. My brother is living at my place for the next two weeks or so and I’d like to get some cuddling time in before we go to bed, you know how it is.
May 31, 2009 at 2:12 pm
Someone said they would rather be happy thean right. It took me a long time to get it. After all - I like being right. I also believe when we listen to others and really listen to ourselves (our bodies and our minds, subconsious etc) we find better direction than trying to make our own plan and then expect the universe to follow our lead. At least - my life has been better when I step back, take a breath, and go with what I have and the direction I have been given. Hope it keeps working out for you that way too! Thanks for sharing!