Still lovin it!
Hello, here’s the update: I’m still crushin weights. I’m still pounding calories. I’m putting on size again. It’s pretty fun. It’s been so long, it’s been so arduous! Before he died, Mike Mentzer talked about having all kinds of psychological issues and depression and what not and said he remembered that when he was happiest in life was when he was bodybuilding; so, very simply, he went back to it. Of course, he died shortly after-although, for an entirely unrelated reason.
Well, I’ve done about the same thing. For so long I’ve been battling this bodybuilding thing. I’ve been going back and forth about whether it’s good for society, whether it can be environmentally friendly, whether it’s this, whether it’s that…bla bla bla-you can check my first blog post if you are interested. What I’ve totally ignored, or what my lower self has not let me accept is that what I am most drawn to, what’s in my life’s plan, is most likely the thing that is best for society, best for the environment, and best for everything else. Long term. I’ve started look at the whole picture a little bit better and realized that one thing is not the whole thing-meaning that I don’t just do bodybuilding. In my particular lifestyle, I offset a lot of the heavy consumption of food with dramatically less than normal consumption of other things in addition to actual work done to better the environmental situation rather than just not doing things to keep it from getting worse.
More than that though, I want to stress what I think the extreme importance of the life’s plan holds. The things we are most drawn towards in life, the ones that we feel are really ‘for us’ are the ones that I think we should pay most attention to. I think I’ve come to a pretty good understanding of how things seem to work around here and there definitely seems to be someone else behind an invisible curtain somewhere making sure everything goes roughly according to plan-not pulling too many strings, but definitely pulling the necessary ones. Stay on track. Do your duty, do it with love and courage.
That last part is the one that I find the most difficult. I’ve been somewhat antisocial now for so long that I find it difficult, even anxiety causing to talk to people. Even people in the gym, to tell them that what they are doing is incorrect and may hurt them. I find myself in a constant battle, one that I sometimes win and sometimes lose in regards to that. I have a very strong aversion to be yelled at, stood up to, or confronted. I’ve had that for several years now. It was what was necessary given that I had very little before and said things I should not have and did things I am embarassed to talk about now. It has given me a better understanding of how to talk to people and how to approach various different situations, but now it needs to start being put into action. It already has actually. I talk to many more people now than before-I think that all started on the bridge that night-but I still get nervous about it, I still have a very noticable aversion to it.
In other news, I did a deadlift the other day and the back felt the best it’s felt in months for days afterwards. Could be a one time thing, could be the real deal. Has a lot to do with the set up prior to. I’m out.
