rawlife’s BodyBlog

 anywhere from 10-12,000 SEK per month on food.  That’s 1,300-1800$ per month on food.  That’s what it costs me to eat organic and raw and still put on size.  I need about 4k calories per day just to sustain my weight; so that’s a bit of food.  I could take the cut costs approach, but I’d rather take the make more money approach.  This is something that’s important to me and I’d like to be able to keep doing it. 

   In other news, I think it’s this parasite cleanse from humaworm that’s giving me the upset stomach.  Infact, I’m pretty sure it is.  I don’t know why I didn’t think of that earlier when I had the obstruction-at least, what I thought was an obstruction.  For the time being though, I’m going to keep doing it as planned as I feel like I’ve gotten some good results, but it’s starting to get real uncomfortable to be honest.  I don’t know if I’ll keep doing it-at this time in my life I need a little bit less discomfort.  It’s keeping me from sleeping as well, which is something I really don’t love.  We’ll see though. I just read a bunch of testimonials from people experiencing the same thing, so maybe I’ll just tough this one out.  Funny thing though, I feel like I am always toughing things out.  I’m starting to wonder how productive that is.  In fact, I got the idea today that it could very well be counter productive.  I’m going to let that idea marinate for a bit and we’ll see what comes of it.  Could turn out that I change my approach to life a little bit here.  I think the huge changes are behind me for the most part, but you never know…

  That’s alright, moving on:  workouts are still going great.  Been doing a lot of workouts with friends lately, which is always fun.  Today’s going to be back.  Don’t know what we’ll do, but I’m sure it will be pretty fast paced-that’s how the last few workouts have been with this particular buddy I’ve been working out with.  He goes, I go.  Then a break after 2 or 3 sets. 

  I’m going to drink a nice big fat shake right now and do some reading on exercise science.  Got to stay on top of my game, you know. 

    Well, I apologize for the long wait inbetween blogs.  I’m afraid I’ve been a busy pojke.  I actually did a short stint in the hospital a couple days back.  Chew your food, guys.  I got a slightly less than complete intestinal blockage due to fast, mindless eating.  Almost as funny is that it’s actually happened to me two times now.  This time is was almonds and raisins that did the trick.  I had a bad feeling even before I bought them that I shouldn’t get them.  Didn’t listen to it.  Had a bad feeling at work when I was rushed and had little time to eat that I shouldn’t eat them.  Didn’t listen.  Hurried through them, barely chewed then swallowed.  Little later that evening, drinking my smoothie, I realize something is very wrong.  I start experiencing some very bad pain.  I assumed it was gas actually and just kept drinking my 8 egg, 2 boxes of frozen berries, 1/8lb raw butter smoothie.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t just gas.  I went to bed after I drank the smoothie and woke up 2 hours later with an awful pain which I recognized almost immediately-knew I had an obstruction.  The first time it happened to me was back in the days of cooked food, protein shakes, and prohormones in highschool.  Anyway, about 12 hours later, I made myself throw-up and the entire smoothie was still in my stomach.  Generally intestinal obstructions occur right at the beginning of the small intestine-so the food doesn’t have anywhere to go really.  So, given my doctors instructions the last time I around, I waited.  Waited another 12 hours and no go.  Had to go to the hospital.  The first obstruction went over in about 5 hours, now it had been 24.  Anyway, I was REALLY not looking forward to going to the hospital, I’d been talking myself out of going all day.  Getting that thing surgically removed was not what I had in mind for that evening; but Kristina(she’s back!) insisted and she was probably right.  Anyway, we went to the doc and he said that although intestinal sounds were sparse, they were still there and the intestines would likely clear the obstruction themselves.  Which they did, thankfully, after about 40hrs.  No big loss, I had meant to do a fast anyway.  So I threw in an extra day for good measure.

    I am still kickin ass in the gym.  Got a lot of my old size back.  What I really love about being raw is my not so new found density(it’s been 4yrs now).  No one would ever be able to tell I’m am a serious trainee in clothes.  I basically look totally normal in clothes, but when it comes time to pump up, then it comes out.  It’s pretty nice, it’s another way to keep me part of the crowd.  I have so many things that set me apart already, I can do without too many more.   

   I had hamstring/core workout today with a buddy, Richy.  The most fun part was getting together with an old friend again, but the workout was great as well.  We crushed some deads-if you can call the weight that I use ‘crushing them’.  Then hit some Yo Yo leg curls and some swiss ball leg curls.  Then we moved onto the core, did some planks, a Bosu sit, some hip rolls, a cable crunch on the swiss ball, some side planks, and some trunk rotations.  Gonna have some mean soreness tomorrow.  That’ll be nice.  Anyway, Richy’s an engineer; he thinks very practically, very logically and systematically-those are the perfect traits for a great trainee.  That last one especially is good, it’s something I’ve found irreplaceable in the gym.  Everywhere and everywhen actually, but in the gym it works particularly well.  Do this, do it well, and move onto that.  I think people really have to start trying to connect the process with the results-which is what they ultimately want.  If the results make them feel really good, the process should also make them feel really good.  Every burning muscle fiber…feels good.  Every gasp for breath…feels good.  Every ounce of energy spent…feels good.  All of it feels good because it’s all giving you what you want, which is good, which feels good.  The pain is still just a sensation, and that can be reprogrammed.  I think we all do this without knowing it in regards to ordinary things pretty often.  We create associations, we condition ourselves, and we experience life in the way in which we have conditioned ourselves to experience it.  It’s a never ending, constantly evolving process.

   In other news, I’ve got to get off my butt and order some trees for new apartment.  I’m moving on Jan 1st and I want it to be a high energy heaven.  Lots of trees, organic everything(especially bed sheets and mattress), recycling bins, full spectrum lighting, compost, nice pictures, maybe a painting or two(I’ve come to the conclusion that the best paintings are the ones that you or your friends do)..etc.  I still have the one remaining stoic sequoia tree.  He’s about an inch and a half tall and already has slightly brown tipped needles.  Not so good.  They just don’t like Sweden so much.  Going to have to keep going with the Buddha trees, the Ficus Religiosas.  Good stuff.  I actually had a lot more to say in this blog; I’ve been thinking about it for days, but as is usually the case, I digress.  I am at a loss for words.  Well, one last thing…been doing a lot of mackerel lately-north atlantic mackerel, VERY high in powerhouse immune system building omega 3s, low in ocean pollution-only the north atlantic kind. 

    Well, I apologize for the long wait inbetween blogs.  I’m afraid I’ve been a busy pojke.  I actually did a short stint in the hospital a couple days back.  Chew your food, guys.  I got a slightly less than complete intestinal obstruction due to fast mindless eating.  Almost funny that it’s actually happened to me two times.  This time is was almonds and raisins that did the trick.  I had a bad feeling even before I bought them that I shouldn’t get them.  Didn’t listen to it.  Had a bad feeling at work when I was late and had little time to eat that I shouldn’t eat them.  Didn’t listen.  Hurried through them, barely chewed then swallowed.  Little later that evening, drinking my smoothie, I realize something is very wrong.  I start experiencing some very bad pain.  I assumed it was gas actually and just kept drinking my 8 egg, 2 boxes of frozen berries, 1/8lb raw butter smoothie.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t just gas.  I went to bed after I drank the smoothie and woke up 2 hours later with an awful pain which I regognized almost immediately-knew I had an obstruction.  The first time it happened to me were back in the days of cooked food, protein shakes, and prohormones in highschool.  Anyway, about 12 hours later, I made myself throw-up and the entire smoothie was still in my stomach.  Generally intestinal obstructions occur right at the beginning of the small intestine-so the food doesn’t have anywhere to go really.  So, given my doctors instructions the last time I around, I waited.  Waited another 12 hours and no go.  Had to go to the hospital.  The first obstruction went over in about 5 hours, now it had been 24.  Anyway, I was REALLY not looking forward to going to the hospital, I’d been talking myself out of going all day.  Getting that thing surgically removed was not what I had in mind for that evening; but Kristina(she’s back!) insisted and she was probably right.  Anyway, we went to the doc and he said that although intestinal sounds were sparse, they were still there and the intestines would likely clear the obstruction themselves.  Which they did, thankfully, after about 40hrs.  No bit loss, I had meant to do a fast anyway.  So I threw in an extra day for good measure.

    I am still kickin ass in the gym.  Got a lot of my old size back.  What I really love about being raw is my no so new found density(it’s been 4yrs now).  No one would ever be able to tell I’m am a serious trainee in clothes.  I basically totally normal in clothes, but when it comes time to pump up, then it comes out.  That’s pretty nice, it’s another way to keep me part of the crowd.  I have so many things that set me apart already, I can do without too many more.   

   I had hamstring/core workout today with a buddy, Richy.  The most fun part was getting together with the old friend again, but the workout was good too.  We crushed some deads-if you can call the weight I do crushing them.  Then hit some Yo Yo leg curls and some swiss ball leg curls.  Then we moved onto the core, did some planks, a Bosu sit, some hip rolls, a cable crunch on the swiss ball, some side planks, and some trunk rotations.  Gonna have some mean soreness tomorrow.  That’ll be nice.  Anyway, Richy’s an engineer; he thinks very practically, very logically and systematically-those are the perfect traits for a great trainee.  That last one especially is good, it’s something I’ve found irreplaceable in the gym.  Everywhere and everywhen actually, but in the gym it works particularly well.  Do this, do it well, and move onto that.  I think people really have to start trying to connect the process with the results-which is what they ultimately want.  If the results make them feel really good, the process should also make them feel really good.  Every burning muscle fiber…feels good.  Every gasp for breath…feels good.  Every ounce of energy spent…feels good.  All of it feels good because it’s all giving you what you want, which is good, which feels good.  The pain is still just a sensation, and I believe it can be reprogrammed.  I think we all do this without knowing it in regards to very ordinary things.  We create associations, we condition ourselves, and we experience life in the way in which we have conditioned ourselves to experience it.  It’s a never ending, constantly evolving process.  There’s a whole lot more to it than that, but I’m going to leave it there. 

   In other news, I’ve got to get off my butt and order some trees.  I’m moving into a new apartment on Jan 1st and I want it to be a high energy heaven.  Lots of trees, organic everything(especially bed sheets and mattress), recycling bins, full spectrum lighting, compost, nice pictures, maybe a painting or two..etc.  I still have the one remaining stoic sequoia tree.  He’s about an inch and a half tall and he already has slightly brown tipped needles.  Not so good.  They just don’t like Sweden so much.  Going to have to keep going with the Buddha trees, the Ficus Religiosas.  Good stuff.  I actually had a lot more to say in this blog, I’ve been thinking about it for days, but as is usually the case, I digress.  I am at a loss for words. 

  Hello, here’s the update: I’m still crushin weights.  I’m still pounding calories.  I’m putting on size again.  It’s pretty fun.   It’s been so long, it’s been so arduous!  Before he died, Mike Mentzer talked about having all kinds of psychological issues and depression and what not and said he remembered that when he was happiest in life was when he was bodybuilding; so, very simply, he went back to it.  Of course, he died shortly after-although, for an entirely unrelated reason. 

   Well, I’ve done about the same thing.  For so long I’ve been battling this bodybuilding thing. I’ve been going back and forth about whether it’s good for society, whether it can be environmentally friendly, whether it’s this, whether it’s that…bla bla bla-you can check my first blog post if you are interested.  What I’ve totally ignored, or what my lower self has not let me accept is that what I am most drawn to, what’s in my life’s plan, is most likely the thing that is best for society, best for the environment, and best for everything else.  Long term.  I’ve started look at the whole picture a little bit better and realized that one thing is not the whole thing-meaning that I don’t just do bodybuilding.  In my particular lifestyle, I offset a lot of the heavy consumption of food with dramatically less than normal consumption of other things in addition to actual work done to better the environmental situation rather than just not doing things to keep it from getting worse. 

   More than that though, I want to stress what I think the extreme importance of the life’s plan holds.  The things we are most drawn towards in life, the ones that we feel are really ‘for us’ are the ones that I think we should pay most attention to.  I think I’ve come to a pretty good understanding of how things seem to work around here and there definitely seems to be someone else behind an invisible curtain somewhere making sure everything goes roughly according to plan-not pulling too many strings, but definitely pulling the necessary ones.  Stay on track.  Do your duty, do it with love and courage. 

   That last part is the one that I find the most difficult.  I’ve been somewhat antisocial now for so long that I find it difficult, even anxiety causing to talk to people.  Even people in the gym, to tell them that what they are doing is incorrect and may hurt them.  I find myself in a constant battle, one that I sometimes win and sometimes lose in regards to that.  I have a very strong aversion to be yelled at, stood up to, or confronted.  I’ve had that for several years now.  It was what was necessary given that I had very little before and said things I should not have and did things I am embarassed to talk about now.  It has given me a better understanding of how to talk to people and how to approach various different situations, but now it needs to start being put into action.  It already has actually.  I talk to many more people now than before-I think that all started on the bridge that night-but I still get nervous about it, I still have a very noticable aversion to it. 

   In other news, I did a deadlift the other day and the back felt the best it’s felt in months for days afterwards.  Could be a one time thing, could be the real deal.  Has a lot to do with the set up prior to.  I’m out.

  Had another great workout yesterday, arms and shoulders.  Did overhead BB preses, lateral raises, and external cable rotations for the delts.  I was pretty hesitant about the overhead presses, thinking they were going to harm the back but I kept the abs tight and all was well.  Then I crushed some bis and tris with EZ bar curls supersetted with skullcrushers and some reverse cable curls supersetted with pressdowns.  I can’t tell you how fun it is for me, even just to write about it, just using the old language.  It’s been so long since I did.  It’s so easy to get stuck in a line of thinking, dogma, or a rut, if you will, and breaking free is a wonderfully liberating feeling.  I’m real sore though, real sore all over.  I’m not sure if I’ll be able to keep this up for long, but I do think I’ll incorporate it a bit more often than I have been doing.  I really think it’s fun to just relax a bit and pump iron like I did in the old days instead of absolutely demolish and destroy the iron like I’ve been doing the last few years….although, that’s definitely fun too when I’m in the mood. 

   I’m spending this morning going over the things that are really important in my life, the ones I don’t want to live without and the ones that I can do without.  This morning we’re just talking about physical things and their costs.  My nutrition costs are through the roof, but I’m not willing to give them up or even skimp really.  My physical therapy costs are also quite high.  Especially high considering I’m living in a semi-socialist country where this stuff is all supposed to be free and yet I pay for it out of pocket anyway given that the government hasn’t accepted my various forms of therapy as such and refuses to cover them.  That’s alright, I can take care of it just fine.  I think I’m being well looked after and have faith that everything’s gonna be alright.  I’m running low on money now, but I’ve come to a pretty good understanding that if I keep spending liberally on the things that I need to spend on and converservatively on the things that I don’t need to spend on, that life will take care of the rest.  I’ve already put it out there that I’m going to need some help, so I feel good about that.

   I’m happy to report that my single surviving sequoia tree has now been accompanied by another in a pot section on the other side of planter.  This guy is quite a bit taller but not nearly as bushy.  We’ll see if they live.  I’m just going by the ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it principle’-basically not doing anything at all to them except watering when dry. 

   Today is going to be a high calorie day.  Actually I started the day with my 2 parasite cleansing pills that I got from humaworm.com, then I made a 8 egg fat shake, which I, as I write this, am just now remembering that I didn’t put any butter in!!!  I knew that thing felt unfilling.  That really aggrivates me! Anyway, about to have some sailors beef in a couple of minutes; then I’ll go to the gym and hit up some hams and do some core work. 

  The back is about as usual.  Not real bad and hasn’t really been on the verge of majorly bulging for a while now, but it’s still uncomfortable almost all the time.  I got a massage last night and this morning it feels great.  I’m going to keep that up for sure.  I’m also going to see if I can get an MRI done; that would hopefully shed some more light on this situation and if it comes down to it that I need to have surgery, then I’ll do it.  I really don’t want to though.  Anyway, gonna get a move on now.  Hope all is well with you, feel free to drop me a line whenever you want.