A short one
So, I was on my way home yesterday for a four hour break in the middle of my work day. It’s not that often one of those comes along. I was tired from not sleeping the best the night before and really looking forward to just chilling and surfing some internet at home. Funny, one of the things I’ve been telling myself for weeks now is that I am so sick of sitting at home surfing the internet and I even feel like the computer is making me sick to an extent. Anyway, I’m in the elevator and I reach into my pocket to, once again, NOT find my house key. Literally the ten millionth time I’ve been locked out of my house. This has been happening since I was a little boy-I’m talking constantly. It’s like I am genetically wired to lose my friggin keys. But alas, after a brief moment of intense anger(as is usually the case with me when basically anything perceivably negative happens in my life), I realized that this is just another situation. Neither good nor bad. Make it what you want it to be. That, to me, felt much better than being intensely angry-I’m getting real tired of that emotion. So I thought to myself, ‘you know, just yesterday you blogged about how you are going to try to spend some time outdoors and in the sun everyday. Now’s your chance-life’s just nudging you a bit.’
So I’m walkin down the street and probably not more than 20 meters from my apartment building I run across a big beach blanket folded and sitting nicely on some meter device on the sidewalk. Not even thinking twice, I grab it up and keep walking. That’s very unusual for me. Afterwards, I of course, worried that I was stealing someone’s blanket but I reasoned it away given the flow of events. Funny thing though, I automatically assumed the blanket was for me to give to this homeless guy I have been watching for the last two days in the park 5 minutes from my house. He has been spending his nights there on a bench or under a tree if it rains. He actually looks pretty well equipped but when I saw him the other night, I thought that he could definitely use one more blanket. And, of course, lo and behold, there was one more blanket. It wasn’t until I went to the park and couldn’t find that homeless guy that it dawned on me’…Oh…this is for me.’ Haha, so I turned around after a little more searching and went to this old folk’s home, outside of which I like to lay and sunbathe.
It wasn’t the greatest day in the whole wide world for sunbathing, but it did the trick. I rolled out the blanket and basked for a while. The sun gave me some of her energy, as is evidenced by the tan, and I felt better afterwards. I did the same today, although with a buddy-went on a walk through the forest and chilled in the sun for a while, while we talked life. I noticed something the other day though. Something that I couldn’t quite ever grasp before. I realized that I always do like ten things at once. If I’m doing one thing, I’m thinking about another as well. Right now, in fact, I have two windows open as I write this. Usually, I have like five. It dawned on me that it might be smarter to just be in the moment. Do this now, or in other words, be here now. I could never grasp that phrase before-be here now-it always seemed too far out for me. But I think I get it now. I think it’s a lot more logical and practical than I might have thought before. It might just mean ‘do this now, so you can do that then; that way you can do them both well.’ It’s something I’ve been telling people forever-work on you now so you can actually help people properly in the future. Strange to think I hadn’t really understood it before. It seems to me that I might not be in such a rush as I have always felt that I’m in. Death could come knocking tomorrow, but it probably won’t. I don’t necessarily have to take care of everything now-espcially given the fact that I’m able to! If we concentrate on doing one thing, even though it may not immediately provide us or anyone else a measurably great service, maybe we can provide ourselves and everyone else a much greater service in the future, given that we won’t have this old thing nagging us and taking up our thoughts. What do you think about that internet world!?
In other news, my triceps are destroyed from my workout the other day. Same with my glutes. I started doing 45 degree leg presses again for the first time in forever, basically just because I can’t squat with the back issue. You know what a pain in the arse those are! Literally. Quads and hams barely even feel it. Lookin forward to a new day tomorrow. Take it easy.
Love, Paul
ps. I put the blanket back where I found it when I was done with it.
