rawlife’s BodyBlog

   a great lesson.  I had a cheat meal last night, went out for Indian with some friends.  It was not only the first bite of cooked food I’ve had in about a month and a half but also the first sustantial amount of sugar I’ve had in a month and a half.  I’ve never felt sicker from cooked food.  Almost immediately I noticed that I developed a kind of drunken feeling and it seemed to just skip over the happy, pleasant drunk feeling though and go straight to the end of a long night of heavy drinking drunk feeling-head swimming, body slow to respond type of feeling compounded with the I have a boulder in my stomach kind of feeling that I always get from eating cooked food.  Anyway, that’s over and has provided me some good neuro-conditioning.  It took a couple hours before I was feeling good again, and now this morning I am feeling slightly hungover, as is usually the case.  With raw, it really seems that I have to have either one cooked meal every couple weeks or basically never eat cooked if I don’t want to feel this way.  Once every couple of months is torture.  It has to be done, but it’s torture.  But I know two things: I learn best from action and the truth makes itself known.  These once every now and again cooked meals give not only my mind a better understanding but also my body.  The lesson diffuses into my whole being-and that is what I want.  The goal is not to only eat healthy food, the goal is to only want healthy food; and I don’t think the strict denial path is going to lead me there…nor will the path of indulgence.  The best way is one that is best-that’s kind of a weird way of saying it but that is exactly how I mean it: The narrowest path, the way, is the one that is best.

     Chemical addiction, I can already tell you, is the scourge of our generation.  I’m making you a promise right now, not because I am a prophet or have had any kind of vision, but because it’s plain as day, that liver cancer, chemical induced hepititis, and what would seem to be HIV-less AIDS are going to shoot sky high before our time is up here on Earth.  I’ve never ever seen so many unhealthy people in my life.  I’ve never seen so many alcoholics almost unconcious on the streets and on the trains in my life-I mean, they actually litter the streets on some days.  I’m telling you, people are waiting for these world ending disasters, waiting for WWIII, waiting for something outside of themselves to come and destroy them and the Earth in a big way…all the while, the real disaster is happening right under their noses.  I’ve been one of those aforementioned people as well, but i learned quick: we reap what we sow and what we are sowing right now is disease.  The real disaster, once again, is happening right under our noses while we are busy looking everywhere but here, while we are guarding ourselves from everyone but ourselves. 

    Healthy food is getting real expensive, so cheap food, which people are already addicted to, looks even better.  Drinking is an absolute must for socializing now, an absolute must, and quantities are going up-there was an article in the paper, just recently actually, about how bars are buying bigger mugs because of increased demand. I really don’t think it’s just a new perspective telling me this, I really think that I’ve not seen this many alcoholics here in Sweden, EVER.  And I know the world has never has so many well fed yet under nourished people before.  Now that’s a concept: lots of full stomachs, very little nourishment. 

    I see a shift, I know it’s happening, I feel real strongly that it’s going to end up alright, but I also see that there is going to be some discomfort along the way.  Of course, the discomfort is necessary for us to develop a new way of living-the adversity, as usual, promotes creation and understanding.  And the easiest way to get through it all is the best way.  Probably a very compassionate way mixed in with a few hard thumps.  My way has always been the anger way, brow beat’em and hard thump’em all way.  Life has made it clear to me that that is unacceptable.  The way for me right now seems to involve lots more compassion to build up people’s spirits, lots of denying myself by turning the other cheek-lots of denying my immediate responses and feelings of anger and swollen pride which are mostly just the summation of my past experiences and replacing them with doing what is actually going to get people back on track.  This is hard for me.

     I’m telling you, for a while there, life was all anger all the time.  It doesn’t work, I promise it doesn’t work.  It’s a reflection of what I said earlier, the plague of this generation is addiction-a lot of people are stuck in very hard cycle: bouncing back and forth between feeling uncomfortable and handling it with the same negative response over and over again-well, seeing these things, seeing injustice and getting spitting mad everytime you see it is the EXACT SAME THING: addiction.  When will you turn the other cheek?  When will I?  I have a feeling the answer to those two questions are very related. 

   Just a couple of thoughts for the day.  It’s time for me to get up and get moving.  I had a workout planned today, but given the situation, I’m going to push it to tomorrow.  I went kayaking yesterday, for about 3 hours, and my abs are so friggin sore I can barely sit up in bed…a day off isn’t a bad idea. 

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 24th, 2008 at 11:46 pm and is filed under Training. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.