rawlife’s BodyBlog

It was nice.  Great success! Started with DB lunges since I really can’t squat.  32kgs per hand, 15 reps per leg, 1 set.  Then went over to hyper extensions for the hams and low back since I can’t dead.  25kg x 20 reps, 1 set.  Then had myself a good’ole time on the latest technology to come out of Stockholm-the yo yo negative squat machine.  It works just like a yo yo.  Push as hard as you can going up and the wheel winds until the cord is totally wrapped around it, then it starts spinning the other way and you have equally as much negative resistance as you had positive for the negative portion-ie: the harder you push on the positive, the hard it pushes down on you on the negative.  It’s still got some kinks to work out but it’s kind of cool, especially for me because the load is distributed throughout the whole upper body rather than focused on the spine(you wear a kind of ‘vest’).  This would probably be a whole lot better with a pic…I’ll see if my gym will let me take one.  Then I did some lateral lunges with 10kg DBs and then I went and did another ham exercise which I don’t know the name for in English-funny because English is my mother tongue, but it has a strange name-four letters..IDLS…something like that, I don’t know.  Anyway, keep it tight ass.

1/3 kg of good raw seaman’s beef.  HAHA, I don’t know what that translates into in English.  I’ve been eating really really low sugar lately.  On a raw diet, you eat pretty low sugar to begin with unless you are crushing a ton fruit, but I’ve cut out pretty much all high sugar fruits as well for the time being.  Now, I feel good phsyically, but truly. sugar is such an addictive substance(more addictive than heroin), that a big part of me is still constantly uncomfortable from the withdrawls.  Basically my only carbohydrates come from tomatoes, peppers, and the little that are in raw eggs and un-pasteurized cheeses.  And the tomatoes and peppers, I eat very little of.  I know this diet isn’t sustainable, but for right now, it’s what I need to do to get this sugar addiction in check-when in front of a fruit/fat/protein smoothie, I still feel a very intense desire to just CONSUME, to just get it all inside me rather than enjoy it slowly and digest every last ounce.  I should note, though, that the dependancy I have is probably just a 10th of what I’ve had in the past and what other people on cooked diets(especially bbers) have currently; but imo, most people are not aware, just like I wasn’t, that they are actually very addicted to sugar-and consuming really outrageous amounts by way of rice potatoes…etc, not to mention actual table sugar from junk.  I read something interesting the other day…at the turn of the century, one hundred years ago, the average person comsumed something like 5lbs of sugar a year.  Now they are up to somthing like 125lbs a year.  Don’t quote me on those numbers, I’m just trying to remember correctly.  It’s no surprise mental and learning disorders are through the roof.  I mentored with a relatively well known dietition about three years ago when I was in college and the first thing she would was get people off sugar-especially the kids with mental problems.  And, of course, they got dramatically better in just a matter of days.  I would venture to say that most people’s problems, physical or mental, could be made dramatically better-so much so that they might not be labeled a ‘problem’ any longer, rather an annoyance, with the cessation of sugar.  I can’t even begin to describe how much easier my life became when I went raw-Goodbye OCD, goodbye colds, goodbye allergies…goodbye physical and mental anguish and annoyances. 

    Tonight, since I was working all day at the gym and then at home making probiotics, I’m going to eat as much as I can.  Lot’s of cold pressed coconut butter and maybe another 1/3kg of raw beef.  Good stuff. 

Tomorrow I am going to work to train one client and then myself, possibly the girl I’m seeing as well.  She’s a bit hesitant because of some emotional issues, so I won’t push her.  I’ve learned that I have pushed way too hard in the past.  I have expected the world out of pretty much everyone; and this just hasn’t been very successful.  Even though I’ve always known he was right, I’ve gotten a better understanding of Gandhi’s ‘Be the change you want to see in this world’ quote in the last few months than I’ve had since I heard it for the first time a couple years back.  The time is long overdue that I stop pushing people into things as hard as I have in the past and start letting them make their own decisions.  The problem with that has always been that I don’t trust anyone else to make the right decision.  I have this kind of false sense of confidence that I am the only one out there that is actually capable of getting anything done and doing it right.  That’s got to go, and it’s on it’s way out. 

   So tomorrow is Back and Biceps.  For the first time in a while, I am training in a manner that is somewhat like what I did when I was kid-several different exercises per workout and plenty of rest inbetween; whereas I normally giant set the whole thing and finish it in just a couple of minutes.  This is part of my new goal actually: to have fun while training instead of just going in there and beating the shit out of my body for a few brief moments before I return to my cave to eat raw food. 

   In other news, the beard is growing.  I’ve had a long one before and always felt like i wanted it back.  Now I really feel like that and I’m not nearly as obcessed about what women think of my looks any longer to care whether or not they like it.  Now the job, that’s a different story, but for now…it’s growing.

No workout today or tomorrow.  The one thing I really miss from back when I started is daily workouts.  I used to seriously LOVE and yearn for those workouts.  Anything wrong in my life would be somehow solved by those workouts, because getting bigger and being in better shape was the answer to everything.  I miss that simplicity.  Now everything is solved by deep introspection and quietly planned actions, like moves on a chess board.  When did everything become so complicated?  It really happened when I went raw and got a whole new perspective on life.  Everything changed then.  It was then that I started thinking of myself as one with everyone else; but from a physical standpoint, I had never been so separate-everything I did and thought was contrary to everything that everyone else did and thought.  Before, I was similar by way of lifestyle and physicality-things that you can see and hold and measure.  After, all of those things went away and I was similar by way of, what I call, spirit.  My whole life and physical nature became different from pretty much everyone elses overnight; but for the first time ever, I actually became aware of the real oneness of life-the reason the great masters always told people to do unto others as you would have done unto you.  This all happened when I went raw and got a different perspective on disease and bacteria and parasites and viruses and things like that.  I ate raw chicken daily(skin, organs, and bones too), drank raw milk, at old raw meat, drank raw colostrum with an inch of visible blood in the bottom of the gallon…not only did it not bother me, but I loved it.  I still do!

   Now I need to understand that the goal in life isn’t to be raw.  The goal in life isn’t being in the best physical shape either.  The goal in life is loving and learning.  That simple.  This has to pervade my very conciousness.  When it does, I have a feeling that everything will fall into place even more than it already has.

Worked out well this week.  I’ve never been a great bench presser, but I did 100kg(225lbs) pause bench for a smooth 5 in a row, piston style, and then a 6th after about a 2 second rest in the locked out position.  I was pretty happy with that.  Funny though, when I weighed 250lbs, I did 154kgs or so(335lbs) for an easy 6, not pause bench style.  My, how the mighty have fallen.  What I really want back is my strength and the ability to deadlift. I don’t need to be 120 fat ass kgs. 

    A herniated disc(s) has paralyzed part of my glute and calf, caused me to tear my ham and gastroc, and left me with no feeling in the side of my leg for several months.  I have the feeling back, but otherwise, I still have a deformed calf and one glute that is slightly smaller than the other.  I would LOVE to be able to deadlift again.  I don’t care at all about squatting.  Something seems not very right to me about directly loading the spine with hundreds of kgs.  Front loading is a different story, especially with a heavy sandbag or something, but BB back squats aren’t my cup of kombucha tea.   But man!, I miss deadlifting.  There’s nothing quite as cool to me as picking up a heavy bar off the ground, and then just setting it back down again.  Simple, primal, cool.  

   Most of my workouts these days are Heavy duty/HIT style. I haven’t seen any reason to do volume for a good long time.  In fact, volume to me now is 2 sets per exercise instead of one.  And 2 exercises per muscle function instead of one.  I almost never do that.  That’s crazy!  I do train intensely though.  I know, everyone says that.  I guess there’s only one way to find out.  Record a session.  Unfortunately, I don’t know where you people work out, but pretty much no gym I have ever been to would let me tape a session there.  I’m convinced there are sexual favors involved.  Well, nothin doin! 

Hi, my name’s Paul and I have been crap at keeping a blog in the past.  I can’t guarantee that I’ll be any better this time.  Having said that, let me tell you a little about myself: I’ve gone back and forth with bodybuilding and fitness.  Definitely don’t love it like I used to.  Mainly because I don’t always see any reason to improve.  I already have a good physique and I’m not particularly interested in having the best physique anymore-although, that thought hasn’t totally left my conciousness.  I don’t know what will happen in the future. 

      Another reason I am not sure about this whole thing is because, for the most part, I don’t like bodybuilders all that much, or fitness athletes, for that matter.  That’s a big generalization, I know, you don’t even have to tell me; but we all make generalizations based off patterns and commonalities we see amongst groups of people or groups of whatever, and the patterns and commonalities I see amongst bbers and fitness athletes are not that attractive to me.  So all that is left for me to do is be myself and create my own path.  In the months to come, if I keep this up, unless I decide to compete, you’ll notice that I am not going to shave my body, I’m not going to use a tanning bed or any self tanner, and I’m definitely not going to take any ‘non-whole food’ supplements or drugs.  As far as I’m concerned, most male bodybuilders out there have more female qualities than they do male-and I think they get off on it.  And most female bodybuilders are about the same in their own way.  I know there are at least some people who feel similarly to myself.  If you don’t, that’s fine, feel free to make your opinion known-I am open to it.  Everyone can feel and do the things they want to feel and do, and everyone should feel free to be the people they want to be.  Just because I don’t like it doesn’t mean I would ever deny someone their right.

   I am a holistic bodybuilder.  I eat pretty much all raw food, but I’m no longer a nazi about it.  When the time comes that I want or need to eat something cooked, I eat it.  It usually happens anywhere from once a week to once a month and most often it’s just for social reasons.  I’ve discovered that I’m actually not an island and that I do enjoy being around and having fun with others.  Most of the time that involves junk food and drinking, and most of the time I politely decline, but sometimes it’s better to not decline(when it comes to drinking, I pretty much always decline). 

   I don’t really know if I even want to continue bodybuilding.  Sometimes I feel like I am passed it; sometimes I feel like I have some unfinished business.  The latter is what I am feeling now and that is why I have created this page.  My main interests are healthy living, having adventures, the environment, and music.  Bodybuilding goes in and out of there.  If I’m going to be totally honest though, everytime I stop, I do get a kind of addict like urge to get back into it.  I don’t actually think that’s a good sign, but for the moment I am going to indulge that urge.  I know for sure that I can’t base my happiness off of whether I am bodybuilding or not. 

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