ragexzero’s BodyBlog

I had an appointment with my nutritionist yesterday and it went ok considering I havent been exercising anymore and I thought she would scold me for it, but she didnt. She told me Im no longer in the "Obesity 2" category and now Im only in the "Overweight" category, so that was good news at least.

I completely lost all the lil motivation I had to exercise and now I cant bring myself to do it anymore. Cardio sucks and I hate it. I havent even thought about doing it anymore, but I know I need to. Losing weight without exercise is all fine and good but I would like to be in acceptable cardiopulmonary shape too.

I guess I have to take it one day at a time and hope for the best. I will try to keep losing weight without cardio, and as soon as I stall and stop losing, I will start it up again. Until then, Ill enjoy my laziness and ride it out. I know its not the best approach, but I never liked cardio anyway and doing it seems more than hard lately. I have lost the habit and starting again is just not happening.

It all went to crap when my sister was at the hospital and I couldnt exercise for a full two weeks. Thats when I fell out of the habit of doing it and I realized how much I hated it. Hopefully Ill get bit by the motivation bug again somehow and just do it, but until then, Im screwed.

Current weight: 192.4lbs

Starting weight: 222lbs

Goal weight: 175-180lbs

Alright, so my sister is out of the hospital, but now my dad has an infection and might need to be hospitalized. What the **** is going on damnit?

All things considered, today was a good day. My other sister got married and it was a happy occasion to say the least. Of course I found this to be a good excuse to break my diet even further, and I ate crap I shouldnt have eaten, but its not everyday that your sister gets married so its fine. Ill make up for it later I guess.
My birthday was a nice time too this past Thursday and of course it allowed me to pig out on THREE pieces of chocolate cake, which Ill be seeing the consequences of next monday when I weigh myself.

I havent exercised this past week either. Im always looking for some excuse not to do it and I usually am pretty good about finding one, so hopefully next week Ill get my shit together and just do it, like I did on the previous months. Obviously, next monday might be a bad day for weight loss after all this crappy eating Ive been doing lately, but next week might be better if I push myself enough. Its hard to push yourself when you are constantly exhausted (because of my meds).

Im still attempting to do pushups. I can manage to do three or four normal ones by now and 24 of the girly kind. I guess it will get better in time. As soon as I lose all the weight I am aiming for, Ill start lifting again and hopefully things will improve from then on. Cardio sucks tho, so I can see why its so hard for me to find the motivation to do it.

This past week has been awful. My sister has been in the hospital with a bunch of different problems that presented themselves at once and Ive had to help by watching my nephew and also visit my sister whenever possible. Needless to say, Ive found in this a great excuse not to exercise and I havent touched the treadmill or bike in a whole week. Of course this means that next Monday’s weigh-in will probably be disastrous, with a gain of at least 2 or 3 pounds.

Im planning to get back on track when my sister gets released from the hospital, but until then, its all gonna be messed up for a while longer. Being so worried about her and depressed about her being so sick hasnt helped either because I find myself even more unmotivated than normal.

Luckily, her condition is improving and she might get released next Monday or Tuesday. So hopefully next week should be better in every way for all of us.

On top of not exercising, Ive been cheating on my diet like theres no tomorrow. I ate FOUR slices of pizza last night and I wasnt proud of it but I could have eaten at least two or three more. I dont know how I managed to stop myself. At least I ate a good amount of salad along with it tho. Oh well.

To all of you who have family going through any sort of health problems, I know what youre going through now and good luck with everything.

Well, color me surprised. I just weighed myself, since its Monday, and I was very pleased to see that I had dropped 6.2lbs last week. I wasnt expecting this at all, and on the contrary, I was expecting a GAIN, because Ive cheated in my diet like crazy this week and also didnt exercise for two days in a row due to my sisters hospital stay.

So now, Im close to breaking the 200lbs line and venture into the 100s again for the first time in years.

Theres still much work to do with my body, but the weight loss is step one of my plan and its working out pretty well so far. After I reach an acceptable weight and level of bodyfat, Ill start lifting again and slowly start growing some much needed muscle.

The lil girly push-ups Ive been doing have helped, since now I can at least perform ONE well-made normal push-up. Im getting stronger somehow.

A few months from today, I will get that power cage Ive been wanting for so long, and then Ill finally be ready for some good, hardcore lifting. Luckily, I also have access to two different cardio machines that I use on a daily basis, and when I combine cardio with lifting, I hope it will make a huge difference in my body.

I dont know where Ill get the energy for both things tho, since just doing cardio nowadays kicks my ass and is so hard. But Ill be damned if I let the medication-induced exhaustion win! It sucks to have the motivation for exercising but your body doesnt respond because its in a permanent state of exhaustion from all the meds. I still fight it somehow and manage to exercise daily, but its very hard.

Anyway, you all have a great day and keep fighting to achieve those goals!

Starting weight: 222

Current weight: 200.2

Goal weight: 175-180

Its been a messed up couple of days. My sister had to be operated on because of gallbladder stones, so I havent even exercised in two days because Ive been at the hospital with her and when Im finally home, Ive been too unmotivated and tired to do it.

Diet-wise it has also sucked because Ive been eating irregularly lately too. So needless to say, next week, come monday, Im expecting a weight gain of at least 1.5lbs.

Last mondays weigh-in was just as I predicted. I gained a pound instead of continuing to lose weight as I had been doing the previous weeks. The extra food she "prescribed" was too much for me and Ive already switched to my previous diet, after calling the nutritionist and asking her for advice.

My sister is doing fine, but she has been through so much shit lately. I feel bad for her. She’ll be out of the hospital by Friday, so I expect two more days of not exercising and bad diets because of that.

Anyway, I guess Ill make up for the lost chances to exercise and the gained weight next week, when things are more stable.

Im still sore from the small "workout" I did on Sunday. My body always takes a LONG time to recover from the shock of the weights. (I only used bodyweight for the squats, but even then, my legs are what hurts most). My legs have been killing me. My arms and back have recovered faster.

Bodyweight exercises are my plan of action until I can lift weights properly again. Ill keep working on strengthening my legs and also work on finally getting more than just ONE poorly made normal push-up. Im stuck doing the girly/easy kind so far (with knees bent). Just goes to show how very weak and in what poor shape I am.

Im off to watch the latest Rambo movie. LoL.

Its been a crazy week. The nutritionist increased my calories a little, since apparently I was eating too little, and this is giving me the bad feeling that I wont lose any weight come Monday, and instead maybe Ill even gain some back. Not good. Lets wait and see what happens tomorrow.

Ive went out of my diet a fair bit this week and Im not expecting great things on the weight loss front for tomorrow.

I picked up my dumbells and did some easy-going lifting in my room today. Tried to do an almost full body workout with very light weights, since Im so out of shape and weak and I didnt want to shock my body too much. I got a medium sized pump and it was all good. Thats until I decided to do some dumbell squats.

I chose to warm-up with bodyweight only squatting. But even THAT made my legs struggle and after two sets were done I was cramping up badly. It hurt like hell. I couldnt finish the third and final set because I was trying to avoid cramping up further. I can take a cramp on a small muscle pretty well, but having my quads cramp more was not something I was ready to deal with.

So now my legs are sore. And not the good kind of sore. Its too early for DOMS to have apppeared, so Im pretty sure I might have caused a small injury or something. That should teach me to stay within my boundaries when it comes to exercising. What exactly did I expect? I havent lifted a single weight in over three years and I weigh over 200lbs with 27% bodyfat, cant do a single normal push-up, and Im weak as a newborn. So throwing myself headfirst into lifting again, even with just my bodyweight, was a bad idea. Next time Ill know better, specially when it comes to my legs.

Lets hope this soreness goes away soon and that I didnt damage anything major by being so stupid. I doubt I did. Some cramps are not the end of the world, but still. It had never happened to me.

Anyway, Im off to finish watching "Eastern Promises". Its bloody and interesting so far.

Well, last week was certainly a bad one when it came to weight loss. I didnt even lose a full pound, but at least I didnt gain either. I just slacked off on my cardio and diet, so of course I got mediocre results.

Next week will hopefully be better.

I had a great workout tonight and I think I owe it all to the music that was playing on my iPod. For some reason, I found a "Kool & The Gang" greatest hits album, really inspiring and it helped me crank up the treadmill a bit and give it my all. Who would have thought Kool & The Gang would fire me up so much. haha. I guess the funkyness helped.

I have the most eclectic and crazy taste in music, and my iPod always shows it. I dont stick to only one or a few genres of music, I listen to a bit of everything, and I like it that way.

Today was weigh-in day and Im pleased to report 4 more pounds lost. Its the most Ive dropped in a single week and I was certainly not expecting it, as I had cheated a fair bit on my diet.

So far, so good.

I also took my measurements again a few days ago and I was happy to see Ive dropped a few centimeters (or a couple inches) from my chest and stomach.

This is going better than I expected. The diet is not even that hard to follow but I admit the exercise is grueling and I hate it. Cardio sucks. Im just waiting for the day when Ill start lifting again and then hopefully the transformation will be even bigger.

I was a bit disappointed to learn I have only dropped 1.6lbs this past week. I guess the nutritionist was right when she said my weight loss will be slowing down in the following weeks.

I have had horrible things to deal with in my family life since last thursday too and I havent even felt like exercising or keeping my eating schedule. The weekends are also off all the time cuz I get up earlier and eat meals that arent in my diet plan.

Im debating whether I should keep doing this or not. I think I pretty much HAVE to, since giving up would be a terrible example to my family and thats the last thing they need right now. Keeping it up will show them that its possible to overcome and its possible to feel better after years of depression and illness.

Wish me luck.

Starting weight: 222

Current weight: 211.8

Goal weight: 170-180