ragexzero’s BodyBlog

Alright, so my sister is out of the hospital, but now my dad has an infection and might need to be hospitalized. What the **** is going on damnit?

All things considered, today was a good day. My other sister got married and it was a happy occasion to say the least. Of course I found this to be a good excuse to break my diet even further, and I ate crap I shouldnt have eaten, but its not everyday that your sister gets married so its fine. Ill make up for it later I guess.
My birthday was a nice time too this past Thursday and of course it allowed me to pig out on THREE pieces of chocolate cake, which Ill be seeing the consequences of next monday when I weigh myself.

I havent exercised this past week either. Im always looking for some excuse not to do it and I usually am pretty good about finding one, so hopefully next week Ill get my shit together and just do it, like I did on the previous months. Obviously, next monday might be a bad day for weight loss after all this crappy eating Ive been doing lately, but next week might be better if I push myself enough. Its hard to push yourself when you are constantly exhausted (because of my meds).

Im still attempting to do pushups. I can manage to do three or four normal ones by now and 24 of the girly kind. I guess it will get better in time. As soon as I lose all the weight I am aiming for, Ill start lifting again and hopefully things will improve from then on. Cardio sucks tho, so I can see why its so hard for me to find the motivation to do it.

This past week has been awful. My sister has been in the hospital with a bunch of different problems that presented themselves at once and Ive had to help by watching my nephew and also visit my sister whenever possible. Needless to say, Ive found in this a great excuse not to exercise and I havent touched the treadmill or bike in a whole week. Of course this means that next Monday’s weigh-in will probably be disastrous, with a gain of at least 2 or 3 pounds.

Im planning to get back on track when my sister gets released from the hospital, but until then, its all gonna be messed up for a while longer. Being so worried about her and depressed about her being so sick hasnt helped either because I find myself even more unmotivated than normal.

Luckily, her condition is improving and she might get released next Monday or Tuesday. So hopefully next week should be better in every way for all of us.

On top of not exercising, Ive been cheating on my diet like theres no tomorrow. I ate FOUR slices of pizza last night and I wasnt proud of it but I could have eaten at least two or three more. I dont know how I managed to stop myself. At least I ate a good amount of salad along with it tho. Oh well.

To all of you who have family going through any sort of health problems, I know what youre going through now and good luck with everything.

Well, color me surprised. I just weighed myself, since its Monday, and I was very pleased to see that I had dropped 6.2lbs last week. I wasnt expecting this at all, and on the contrary, I was expecting a GAIN, because Ive cheated in my diet like crazy this week and also didnt exercise for two days in a row due to my sisters hospital stay.

So now, Im close to breaking the 200lbs line and venture into the 100s again for the first time in years.

Theres still much work to do with my body, but the weight loss is step one of my plan and its working out pretty well so far. After I reach an acceptable weight and level of bodyfat, Ill start lifting again and slowly start growing some much needed muscle.

The lil girly push-ups Ive been doing have helped, since now I can at least perform ONE well-made normal push-up. Im getting stronger somehow.

A few months from today, I will get that power cage Ive been wanting for so long, and then Ill finally be ready for some good, hardcore lifting. Luckily, I also have access to two different cardio machines that I use on a daily basis, and when I combine cardio with lifting, I hope it will make a huge difference in my body.

I dont know where Ill get the energy for both things tho, since just doing cardio nowadays kicks my ass and is so hard. But Ill be damned if I let the medication-induced exhaustion win! It sucks to have the motivation for exercising but your body doesnt respond because its in a permanent state of exhaustion from all the meds. I still fight it somehow and manage to exercise daily, but its very hard.

Anyway, you all have a great day and keep fighting to achieve those goals!

Starting weight: 222

Current weight: 200.2

Goal weight: 175-180