psytrak

Ok, I know that it’s been long time since my last post–why does this feel like confession? How would I know what that feels like when I’m not even Catholic? Anyway, I’ve been going through a lot of that life stuff… Just as I was getting into the swing of things I lost my job, so, yeah, that sucks, but at least I get a months worth of pay out of the deal, some extra sleep, and a tad more stress with the whole looking for a new job thing. With all that said getting on here has been the last thing on my mind until today. I guess that the people at BB knew that we are some lazy folks, and given the opportunity we’d slack, being the good spot that they are they sent me an email; which is goos because I haven’t been on here in a while other then checking to see if I have mail. That’s the long a the short of it, my goal of six pack by June got side lined, and my clean eating has been fighting to stay with me, all and all I have to start from square one again! Didn’t gain any weight, but lost a lot of discipline…

This week has been really trying for the training. Tonight is K-bell night, and the first training that I’ve done since Sunday. Monday night I got paged, and was feeling mentally out of it, so I used that as my excuse not to go to class that night. I’m sure the issue could have waited, but the recent loss of energy took a toll Monday on top of the at work bullship. So, I didn’t train, didn’t workout, just vegged; Tuesday was more of the same, plus some bad eating; well that was the whole weekend too. I wasn’t eating unhealthy, just wasn’t eating. I completely killed my 2-3hr rule. Sigh…. Crazy week, that continued into the weekend.
My wife had her wisdom teeth pulled on Friday, and I felt guilty eating around her because she cannot chew–poor girl… Tuesday I had to leave work early to get my son from school, then log back into work to finish the day off. Somewhere in there he decided that mash potatoes  would be the perfect food, so I agreed to "help" him cook them…. Yeah that didn’t last long I think the most he did was get the potatoes, then he saw his friend, and didn’t come back until I called him to eat. Can you believe the little thunder thief tried to say he cooked dinner…. The nerve… lol Since my wife was watching my cousins store all day I told her I’d stay home and take care of the kids so she could relax… Little did she know my version of taking care of the kids is wrestling and yelling… I think she had fun watching me throw my son off my back while tickling my daughter….

That was the last two nights, and I wouldn’t really consider Sunday a workout. I teach at my sons karate school and always tell the adults "Bring your Gi top" Four people showed up without them, so, I saw kettlebells laying on the side, guess what they had to do? Yeah, I loved it…. Well that’s until the ones that weren’t being punished wanted to do it.. LAME! I looked at that as an opening to get these guy really tired. I set up five stations that where only 30seconds a piece, and they where beat after that. I think I spent more time explaining and reshowing then they did working out. After that I was upset enough to let them spar with minimal input.

After all is said and done I think that I’ve been slacking sine Saturday. Friday I was pretty pissed off so I worked out extra hard, and that felt awesome! I’d like to do the same today, so, that’s the plan! The 16kg kettlebell I currently have is getting really light so I think it’s about time to move to the next setup, we’ll see, I may just slow everything down and force the muscle to work throughout the entire range….

Well lately I’ve been extremely stressed, mainly work, and the other day I came home from a particularly bad day when I got into it over the phone with my father. Parents…. Even when you’re a parent yourself they still boss you around. So, not noticing I got wise with him and I could tell in his voice he was upset. As soon as I tried to apologize it was already too late, he said, I’ll talk to you later and hung up. Needless to say I felt worse, so as not to take it out on the wife and kids, I did as I always to and separated myself to calm down.

My wife is pimp. She came up and said, what’s wrong, to seem upset. I told her what happened; she kissed my head, and told me come down when you are ready. I stared at the computer; angry for about a minute or so, then told myself, either you can do something about it or continue to sit here like a lump on a log. So, a few updates to the resume and I’m posting away. That doesn’t help, well, no wonder; I’m still focused on what’s got me upset; so after 30 minutes or so I decided to work out. I must have done about tow hours of kettlebell workouts, then decided to stop. The combination of adrenaline, fatigue, music, and my wife & son popping there heads in really helped. After I was done, took a shower, grabbed the boy and sat down with the family to watch TV.

The thing that bothers me a lot is when I’ve got a lot of BS on the brain, training suffers. I’d like to say that it doesn’t but it does. Being upset all take takes a lot of energy, lets not even start with the loss of appetite. I know that throughout the day I’m going to have my moments that cheer me up, but, I’m worried that my performance is going to suffer. Jiu-Jitsu is like chess with the ability to break bones, the last thing you want it to be off your game. The chances of you getting hurt as not as high as the chances of you hurting someone, so it’s a concern, but at the same time, it’s days like this where I sometimes focus more. All and all, the rain, and the ****ed vibe at work aren’t making the hours tick faster.

Well that’s my pitty party for the day. Training is going to be just what the doctor ordered…

I don’t know what it is, but lately I cannot get enough sleep! My body is not tired, I just want to sleep. I don’t know if this has to do with calorie intake or boredom, but it’s annoying the pants off of me.  The only change that I’ve made is no more BCAA’s, but that should make me as tired as I’ve been, so I’m at a loss. The food intake is still good, and when I’m not at work I’m a ball of energy, except last night in class. I could have fallen asleep sitting on the floor and been perfectly ok with that. Maybe one of those weeks.

Other then that tonight is K-Bell night, so that’s going to be fun. Still trying to figure out how to work the lower abs without hanging off of something… Any suggestions?

Ok the day is about 22 minutes from over and I still want to read the blogs, but damn if my mental capacity for reading is not there….. Sucks because I get like 1/2 in to it and wooooooooooooooooooooooonder… Hey mind get back her….. yep, it’s Tuesday…

I know that my stats say one thing, but those are off. I started those stats about three weeks or so after I started cutting weight. Before I started the weight cut I was walking around at 180-185. I cannot say 100% which of the two I was at when I started wanting to lose weight to compete, but I was heavier, and eating everything & anything I wanted at whatever time I wanted to. I would eat lunch, then not eat again for almost 10 to 12 hrs later, wow! I knew I was hungry, but I didn’t think it was as unhealthy as I’ve learned it is.

I think that if I can ever point to one moment in my life and clearly say, that is the moment that’s changed my life, getting ready for that competition is one of them. Without knowing about clean eating I started basically eating like a vegetarian, and eating when I felt hungry; oddly enough that was about 4-6 times a day. The energy went through the roof until the protein needs started eating away at the muscle, but up till that point I was good. It was that point when I started reading more. One of my teammates sent me an article on the need to rest–because I wasn’t. That’s how I found bodyspace.

I caught the be healthy bug, and loved it! It didn’t help that I’m very passionate about health, and Jiu-Jitsu. Once I read some blogs I joined, and started reading article after article about eating clean. Not to mention the montra in here, "Diet is 80% of your physical fitness." That made me really think. How the hell is could that be?. Thinking lead to reading, and reading lead to knowing, which then lead applying, and here I am, 10-15lbs lighter.

I stepped on the scale this morning and took the first readout as wrong, 171…. yeah right, after the third time on and still 171.0 I was shocked. Wow, I’m making it, the stomach is flatter, and the abs are starting to show with just with breathing. This can, no will happen! Six pack by June! Now I just have to start working them more then twice a week…

So, I’m at least 10lbs richer, because that 10lbs came with a lot of learning, a lot of eating, and so much more healthy energy it’s hard to put it in perspective. The arrogant person in me wants to say I have no one to thank, but that’s such a lie! I have a lot of people to thank, first off my teammate for sending my that article, then all of you. Thanks! You’ve given my great insight on how to calculate the portions (still learning more about that) crossfit, and how to target. More then that you’ve showed me through how you make your body, so it’s not just words, it’s what work, and peer pressure… Thanks for keeping the e-contact, and making it an exciting thing to get on here and talk about progress!

Today is the K-Bell night, and date night with the wife… That’s a tuff one… Do I pop a quicky with the weights while she gets ready, or do I just wait till tomorrow and bust out a quality one… Oh, and c’mon!!!! If it sounds like sex, quess what, it is! Perv, you’re just like me…. The body, and time in the gym is like sex, because the better your gym cardio the better your domestic cardio… (Pix you rock for putting that one out there) All and all, I’m excited about getting to the house, no matter how you look at it I’ve got something to do.

You know what’s crazy ever since I started eating clean my RSL (Restless Leg Shit) has gotten worse. I’m a ball of energy. Last night I was training with one of the highest skilled guys in my school and he had to stop because he had no more energy, mean while I’m like off the wall. I felt like hammy from over the hedge… There is a down side to all this energy… I’m even more Psytrak then ever. My instructor called and politely told me that I have to bring it down a notch, well more like seven notches. I’m a distraction in class… Sucks! I don’t want to be, and I don’t notice when I am, but I’m an attention whore I guess. I live in deep left field, and I always find ways to get company if you know what I mean.

So today is Friday, and I’m out of work for two days, my personal challenge is going to be staying focused… Eating clean on the weekends is so hard for me to do, this is very new to me, but as each week passes it gets easier, not to mention, staying on this site, chatting with all of you. You’re all great! Thanks for joining, and letting people like me use you for our personal goals of what we would like to look like, eat like, and in some cases be more morally like.

PSYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYTRAK!!!!!!