prettyface’s BodyBlog

Just checkin in so you guys would know I haven’t fallen off the wagon again. Haven’t been up to much, though. I can sum it all up in two words - "Swine Flu"

Anywho, hang in, keep on those goals, talk to ya’ll when I rejoin the "land of the living" hahaha. (Seriously, I’m really feeling better.)

Love. Smiles.

Well… I got good news over the weekend. All of the "fat" I thought I had gained was indeed "fluid."
The bad news is - there’s a pill for that! Now my blood pressure is wacky. It’s been everywhere between 90/60 to 148/101 today. Grrr… My blood pressure has always been near perfect. But "fluid" pills are also blood pressure pills. I’m just not sure why it’s going up?
Don’t get me wrong - I am very glad to get rid of the fluid. I’ve lost 14 pounds since Sat., which I had thought was all weight gain. My extremities were in serious pain and are better now, and I actually FEEL like working out. I’m very proud of those things.
It’s just frustrating that everything seems to help one thing and make another worse.
Anyways… that is enough pouting.

I’ve done pretty good on watching my food, but I haven’t worked up to an actual "diet" yet. I may start that tomorrow, though.
My smoking resolution is wavering, but I’m going to try and rally myself back up tonight.
With all of this excess fluid leaving my body, I actually feel like working out. That’s definitely a step in the right direction.

I guess we’ll see what tomorrow brings…

.. in a sense, I guess.

My dad always said that, and I thought "How weird?" But I think he was right. On not smoking, it is definately the only way I’m going to pull through. Each mistake is a mistake in and of its own, and not a reason to quit. (Wow, that’s a lot like following a diet or workout plan, huh?) Slow and easy… until it becomes a habit. Then, you move on to the next step. Then, the next. Before you know it you’re totally aggressive. I think that’s how it works. Hmmm…

Anyways - today has been good. Calm. Peaceful. After work, I am going shopping for some nice "clean" groceries.

I’m not sure that I’ll be starting an exact diet, until I quit smoking completely. Right now, I’m still having one or two a day, and still wanting one ALL day! LOL! That leads to a lot of eating, and chewing gum. (On a lighter note, I have rediscovered the joys of spearmint and blowing bubbles when no one’s looking, lol.)

Anyway, that’s not at all related to bodybuilding, and completely related to bodybuilding depending on how you look at it. The point is, right now I’m not sure if I have enough discipline to eat my meals in exact proportions and at exact time intervals. I’ve got a lot "on my plate" already.

I do think it is time, though, to kick that junk food back out of my kitchen. Why am I even buying white bread, when whole grain breads are so much tastier and healthier? Why are there 2 liters of Mt. Dew in the fridge, if I am so concerned with my obesity? (the words lazy and self-indulgent come to mind.)

So, tonight I’m shopping. I’m just wondering when I’ll be able to truly maintain a balanced diet, and where to start.
My old diet worked. It worked well, in fact. But I spent two hours every night preparing food. It’s worth it in the end, but right now I need an "entry level diet", in a manner of speaking.

Anyway, I’m a total scatter-brain today. They’re still some thoughts to ponder, though…

Okay, I fell off the wagon. Actually, I’ve been sitting in the road watching the wagon disappear in a cloud of dust. But, I’m about to catch up to the darn thing and get on again.

I know it sounds cliché - I don’t care.

How many times will I "get back on the wagon"?
AS MANY TIMES AS IT TAKES!

I can do this, I know I can, and I am never going to let myself off of the hook because of laziness. I will succeed. Everytime I fail, I will learn from it, I will pick myself up, and I will try again.

So, here goes -
I’ve gotten off of all of my depression medications. (Yes, the friendly little guys who helped me pack on the pounds.) I weaned myself off of them, on my own. That has been difficult and painful, but worth it. That was just too many sedatives - I didn’t feel strongly about anything at all, good or bad.
I am now quitting smoking, which is also difficult and painful. Also worth it.
What’ll happen to my body in the next few weeks, who knows? But when all is said and done my body will be free of chemicals. I’ll be "clean" so to speak.
Then, it’s time for the next difficult undertaking - weaning myself back off of the junk food and Mt. Dew.

I’ve got to face the fact that the only person I can blame for the shape that I am in is me.