positivepower’s BodyBlog

Well things are slowly getting better.  I actually got to the gym this weekend.  It was a rather pathetic workout but at least I got there.  I think workin on my website has helped divert a lot of my attention away from all the negative things goin on in my life, especially since it’s a funny site and gives me a little laugh here and there.  I thought I’d share it with you guys to hopefully give someone else a laugh and let them forget their troubles if only for a few moments.  The site address is http://www.RedneckLaughs.com.  I’ve been updating it daily with new funny redneck pictures, videos, and jokes so bookmark it if you like it.  And if you wanna leave me any feedback here or on the site, I’d love that!  Thanks

I’m feeling a little better about things today and I was just thinking of that saying "This Too Shall Pass" and instead of motivating me, it actually kinda depressed me more.  It basically says "this is just another crappy thing in life you’ll have to pick yourself up from and move on.  just think of all the many crappy things you had to go through and how you eventually got over it.  there will sure to be many other crappy things in the future too but you’ll get over those as well".  I mean seriously, why does there have to be so many crappy things in life??  I guess one argument is the bad things make the good things that much better.  I guess that’s true.  It kind of falls in line with No Pain No Gain.  To get that great physique you have to suffer but all that pain eventually pays off.  So I guess that’s how I’ll look at it.  This pain will make me stronger and I’m sure at some time in the future it will pay off somehow and I’ll be glad I got through another challenge.

So I haven’t been on here much at all lately.  The last 6 weeks or so I’ve really fallen off the wagon and now the last week has been completely mentally devastating and I don’t even feel like living right now let alone lifting.  I’ve been working 6 days a week at work and spending all my spare time trying to start a new website so I’ve had pretty much no life and I’ve only gotten to the gym maybe one or two days a week if that and I’ve been eating crap and I’ve lost nearly all my gains I worked so hard for.

I also broke up with the girl I was seeing a few weeks ago, or i should say she decided to start ignoring me.  Then this week I had a HUGE fight with my mom and vowed to never speak to her again in my life because she’s extremely mentally abusive and psychotic (just as a small sampling, while I was fighting with her she started going off on my sister telling my sister she’s worthless and should kill herself because her son would be better off, the family would be better off, and the whole world would be better off.  She also lied to me and said my father had a heart attack the week before and I didn’t even know about it cuz I’m such a horrible son.  She’s NUTSSS).  She consistently says horrible things, lies, steals, snoops, manipulates, and tries to turn everyone against each other.  My dad won’t talk to me cuz he always sides with her no matter what and despite the fact that all three of her kids think she’s a complete nut.
Then today I saw the ex that I mentioned in a previous blog at a coffee shop and she pretended like she didn’t even see me like she does every time I see her out (unfortunately she lives two blocks from me) so I wrote a really long letter finally telling her how much she has hurt me over the last couple years and how horrible I think she is to have treated me the way she has when i was never anything but incredibly nice to her, patient with her, and never once even said anything bad to her despite her doing so so many crappy things to me over the last 4 yrs and repeatedly hurting me and showing absolutely no concern or remorse EVER for ANYTHING and she wrote me back telling me she never even thinks about me and thinks I’m a big joke and will report me if i ever contact her again.  With this response I am 10000% convinced she is a sociopath with absolute zero empathy.  I obviously shouldn’t care knowing that but i don’t think I’ll ever get over the fact that the one and only girl I ever fell crazy in love with the moment i met her and felt a connection with turned out to be the absolute worst person I’ve ever encountered in my life and I’ll never be able to comprehend how someone can be so absolutely callous, cold hearted, and completely nasty.  At this point I really think she’s as horrible a person as Hitler.  She has absolute zero concern for anyone but herself and is completely nuts.  She’s so disgusting it makes me want to vomit.  The first several weeks I knew her she seemed like such a sweet, caring, intelligent, and fun girl who I found incredibly physically attractive and was my absolute dream girl and she turned out to be the Devil.  I mean if you do a search for her name on Google, the only thing that comes up is an Athiest meetup group she started, which is so fitting because she is absolutely Godless and completely morally reprehensible.  I’ve disliked plenty of people in my life but I never hated anyone till I met her.  I truly truly hate her with the passion of 1000 suns.  I hate her more than words could ever express.

It’s not helping that all my friends seemed to have disappear right now and I can’t even talk to my own parents.
So yah.  I’m having a very hard time finding motivation to go to the gym right now.  Especially since on top of all this I finally asked the girl at the front desk for her number after talkin to her every time I go in there the last few months and then she doesn’t even answer or call me back.  It really seems the whole world hates me and I’m completely alone right now.

I noticed that all my negative posts get way more views and comments than my positive posts.   Now I see why the nightly news is nothing but bad stories, why the tabloids do everything they can to capture celebrities doing bad things, and why the celebrities seem to go out of their way to do bad things…because they all know that’s what sells!  It’s pretty sad that people just aren’t nearly as interested in good stories or good deeds.  I guess it’s human nature to want to see a train wreck or someone doing something bad so we can feel better about ourselves and our own situation.  I think people much prefer negativity so they can either jump in on the complain train or be the hero and offer advice or comfort.  People just don’t want to hear about someone doing better than them or being a better person than them.  It’s kinda sad but it’s reality I guess.  I’ll take a positive spin on it and be thankful I recognize this human flaw because with recognizing it I can steer clear of it and hopefully overcome this natural tendency.  I hope anyone who reads this will too!

Well right now I’m feeling extremely discouraged about continuing to pursue bodybuilding as well as life in general.  I always try to maintain a positive attitude (hence my screenname) but my entire life I’ve had EXTREMELY bad luck to the point where its been a joke to everyone who’s known me throughout my entire life (even without me mentioning my bad luck because I don’t like to admit it and even try to deny it because I really don’t want things to keep happening).  Well honestly, the joke is BEYOND old at this point.  I really try to be a good person and try to always think positive but my life just continues to be one disaster after another.  So what am I talking about?

Well I JUST sent in my very last car payment the other day and bragged about it to a friend who joked "knowing your luck you’ll get in another car accident right after sending it in".   Sure enough, last night coming home from the gym, a guy T-boned my car!

Now of course with my luck its never just one thing.  You see earlier in the day, I got back my blood test results that showed despite the last 4 months of no drinking, eating healthy, and lifting almost every single day, my numbers are STILL screwed up.  Boy that really encourages me to keep eating bland food and busting my ass in the gym! 

Well I guess I could still keep lifting to keep a nice body for the girl I’m seeing….oh wait…she’s cheating on me!  Ok so I don’t have proof of that last one but she’s been extremely shady and all my intuition from my previous relationships tells me she’s screwing around with another guy.  I’ve been giving her the benefit of the doubt and ignoring a lot of things but it’s pretty obvious at this point.  Yah anyway, I guess I should get back to work before I get my pink slip, which will probably happen by the end of the day.

What is it with some guys at the gym who are so arrogant to just take the machine or bench you’re using and TELL you they NEED to jump in, rather than ASKING you if you MIND if they work in with you?   Not only that, but they tell you like its a secondary thought AFTER they already jump in and like they’re doing you a favor by making you aware that they need the bench much more than you.  "Oh I’m so sorry I was in your way your highness!’  This has happened to me several times now, including last night, and 2 out of the 3 times this has happened was from a guy who was no bigger than me and looked to be younger than me, but apparently they see themselves as the Incredible Hulk.  Not being a pushover, I’ve always let these guys know my displeasure with their rudeness but this shouldn’t even happen.  The one time I actually got into a yelling match with one idiot who came up out of nowhere and started yelling at me to get off "his" machine and that I must not know who he is.  Uhhh no sir, actually I do know who you are….you’re the King of the *******s!  This kind of blatant disrespect and rudeness makes me want to get so huge that no guy would even dare enter a 5ft buffer space around me when I’m working out, let alone steal my damn equipment.  So for all you cocky bastards out there, thank you for encouraging me to want to keep lifting!

Is it just me or does everyone in their contest poses, especially the women, look like they’re about to do the Robot dance?

I’ve been on here about a week or two now and after a lot of time browsing and making new friends I have to say that the 40’s club is really representing!  I’m kinda surprised to see that a lot of the hottest bods on here are women and men in their 40s and a lot of them have kids, side businesses, and all sorts of things going on to take up their time.  This really encourages me that if they can have all those responsibilities and look that amazing being 15 yrs older than me, then I really have no excuse not to keep workin hard and improving my body.  So for all you in your 40s (or even 50s) with bodies of a very in shape 20 yr old, kudos to you and thanks for the inspiration!

When you walk into your gym, what do you expect?  You expect them to greet you, take your key chain membership card and scan it, and then wish you a good workout.  That’s how it USED to work at my gym but apparently they couldn’t afford that kind of talent anymore so they replaced all the friendly front desk workers with a few new lazy idiots who are so freakin lazy they put the scanner up on the counter with a sign for you to scan your card yourself while they sit there blabbin away on their cellphone all night.  If this was a once in a while thing or just one of them doing it, it would be annoying enough but it’s ALL the new workers and ALL the time now.  This is ridiculous!  If I was the owner and walked in and saw that shit, I’d fire their lazy asses right on the spot!  Their literally getting paid to sit there and talk on their cellphone all night.  First of all, what the f*** could you be possibly talking about all damn night!  Second of all, you have the easiest freakin job in the world…say "hi", take card and scan it…and you can’t even do that!?  Do the world a favor and kill yourself NOW!