Sunday (8/10): 1 (lower bod weights) + 1 (ran 3 mi/biked 15 mi) = 2
Monday (8/11): 1 (bicep/chest/shoulders) + 2 (abs) - 3 (sweets) = 0 (boo!)
Tuesday (8/12): 2 (Treadmill HIIT, 50 min, 5+ mi) + 1 (biked 10 mi) - 2 (mojito with cutie-guy) = 1
Wednesday (8/13): 1 (tricep/back/shoulders) + 2 (abs) + 1 (biked 10 mi) - 3 (sweets) = 1

TOTAL THUS FAR = 4

So essentially - D’OH!  The thing with the sweets issues, is that I totally do it without thinking!  I’ll stress out at work and gobble up a piece of candy and then - bam!  3 points off… But, when I look back at it, I guess it’s indicative how this lifestyle is, eh?  No matter how many workouts I put in, diet is 70%, if not more.  I kinda-sorta kept with the Savage plan, but obviously with the sweets not to a tee.  Oh, flighty Pixi… I’ll learn to have discipline one of these days!

Okay, diesel ones, I’m off for some camping and off-roading fun!  Knowing my hedonistic friends, I’m going to lose major points (and quite possibly brain cells) on this adventure, but hopefully we’ll get some cool hikes in (hey VTD, how many points for long hikes AND sneezing like a storm because of my dorky allergies?? j/k)!  Lift hard and eat clean whilst I’m away! xo

Second, before I get down to bidness, I went on a date on Friday and kind of excited about it, though I was totally nervous and most likely did my nervous hyena laugh twice or thrice!  He’s really cute, likes the outdoors, and pretty mellow (kinda good for a hyper chick like me, I guess?).  He said we should hang out again, so hopefully he’ll call.   There’s another one that’s *super* funny, too, so we’ll see how that goes!  And another one that is pretty witty but I don’t really know him all that well yet.  Yay

Okay, so after those Hawaii pics (I know, I’m too hard on myself… thank you for your wonderful comments!) and gaining 2-3 pounds of ‘woe-is-me-break-up’ weight (at least I still had a net loss of -228 since it ended, though! ), I’ve decided I need to get back on track and tried to figure out my next challenge.  Since I’m 0 for 3 on the challenges I’ve started since joining bb.com (C3, Cathy Savage, Fight the Fluff… probably more but my memory’s selective like that), I figured I need to be responsible and finish the Cathy Savage Challenge.  So, as of today, I’m starting from scratch and completing the whole thing in the next 8 weeks.  Starting today (1st week), it’s 1700 calories, 30/20/20 breakdown (edit: 40/30/30… see comments below ), and her exercises (though I’m going to up each cardio to an hour).  I *will*, though, allow myself 1-2 cheats (in the form of alcohol mainly, since it’s kind of hard to avoid at first when dating), but everything else will be clean and what was on the plan.

But wait, there’s more!  Because VTD, *curls one end of handlebar moustache and lightly slaps VTD on the cheek with a white glove* - I challenge you to a du-el!   He concocted a new 36 Point Challenge where we compete to see who will reach 36 points first (full details here.  If anyone wants to join, we just started so go for it!

Anyway, I can’t let no stinky boy beat me , so it’s time to hit the gyzzm and enjoy this wonderful Sunday!  I hope everyone has a strong, wonderful weekend/week and training hard!

And no… I don’t have a handlebar moustache… just in case that needed clarification!

I didn’t take pictures at the wedding since I knew there were going to be a bazillion cameras there, but here’s some favorite ones I took (once I get more pics from others, I can pm anyone who wants to see the rest):

Front view of our 5-bedroom cottage… it was HUGE on the inside and we picked rooms like we were on “The Real World”

COOLEST tree ever!!  The branches drop down and then form roots, forming a conglomerate of trunks that form one huge tree!

Our backyard!  Such a beautiful array of trees and not too far off is a beach!

Chickens and roosters were everywhere!!  On the plantation, at the beach, just everywhere, I took a ridiculous amount of chicken pictures lol!!

Awesome view of a hike we did… lots of cool waterfalls and greenery

Where ocean meets sky - this picture doesn’t do the view justice!  You literally can’t tell where the horizon is when looking afar!

Cool snorkel area where we saw tons of colorful fishes, sea turtle, eels, etc.!  My friend had an underwater camera so I’m going to get copies of his pictures.

As promised - me laying like a worthless lump!   I’m actually not very pleased with how the bod looks on here, thus spurring my next challenge…

Getting ready for another day at the beach

I just really love my girly friends… husband/boyfriends/guys came, too, but I just LOVE my chickies

Overall - SUCH a blast, and the best memories were just hanging out with my friends again since a lot moved away from San Diego!!  Total treasured times, jokes and laughter all throughout the vacation, witty banter everywhere, dodging mosquito bites, and just pure and fun energy and love!!  I’m SO incredibly blessed to have such amazing, loving, caring friends, and I miss them already so much!!

Now… it is time to do some serious detox and figure out my new goals since my pants are just a LEETLE to tight these days, and today’s 3-miler at the gyzzm was uber-difficult!!  I have missed you guys tons, and can’t wait to read your updates throughout the week!!  I hope everyone is doing well and training hard!! xoxo

Oh right - focus!  So I’m off to beautimous Hawaii for my friend’s wedding, and I’m so stoked!!  20 college friends and I rented a couple cottages there, and we hope to go on some fun hikes, zip lining (pending on time/fundage), and of course, getting our tan on and enjoying a drop or two at the open bar at the reception.   I’m hoping to sneak in some fun runs in the morn, but we’ll see depending on humidity.

I’ve been working super hard since I’m pretty sure I’m not going to the gym while I’m there (cold is gone - thank you, Zicam!), and was so stoked when I used 75 lbs. for the supine grip tricep pushdowns (12 reps!  only for one set, though, and it was my first exercise lol)!  There’s this one new chick at the gym that said I have great potential (she’s super lean and buff, she’s done a couple competitions), to which I replied I have enough trouble walking on flat shoes, let alone 4 inch heels and, knowing me, I’d probably blind myself with the sparklies on my suit and trip.  She laughed and her laughing at my joke obviously made her one of the cool kids , so I hope to get to know her better and hopefully she can give me some training tips!

I also told my marathon friend/"coach" about my Triple Crown goal for next year (Carlsbad half in January, La Jolla half in April, and America’s Finest in August), to which he smugly replied, "well, those goals are alright, but they’re half’s (halves?) and I know you can run more…"  So of course this has me thinking - hrm, I have a free flight voucher to anywhere in the U.S., why not do a marathon with Wendy or VTD or my other fellow runners on this site??  So, I’m marinating on that…

Anyway, I will write as soon as I get back, but until then - I’ll send you motivating training vibes as I play ‘worthless lump’ at the beach, especially to all the Last Man Standing and Baby Got Back contenders!!   Oh!  And D and all the drama - done, f’ing done.  Love your guts!

I’ve unfortunately been a smidge sick, which is no bueno because Hawaii is coming up!  I’ve managed to do my workouts, though I’m way sweatier than usual.  The logical side in me says I should probably fully rest a day or so to fully kick this stuff outta my system, but then the a.d.d. hyper side forgets and says, "yay, time for the gym!" when the alarm goes off.  I will try my best to stay still one of the weekend days!

Personal life, so much drama in the LBC with D and that chick!  D is sweet talking me back and man he knows how to push my buttons (both in the good and bad way), and the chick emails me.  I won’t lie - I still love him so much, but I just gotta get over the situation.  Online dating stuff is still proving to be amusing, and I think I might meet a couple before Hawaii (pending on me feeling better).  I’m not expecting to meet ‘the one’ anytime soon, but I do want to socialize a bit more.  Let those dating adventures and debacles begin!

I have to earn my dollar and work and stuff today, but I will catch up with you love bunnies this weekend!  I  hope everyone has a sick-free and phenomenal weekend, and all the Bash attendees - PICS!!  LOTS AND LOTS O’ PICS!!!  Please

Other than that, not much going on lately… ups and downs with the break-up, but online dating is proving to be amusing.  The best was this guy who wrote this super long email about how beautiful I am, how we have this and that in common, etc.  I told him that he seemed sweet, but I’m not really interested and good luck with his search, to which he replied "thanks for emailing, but I’m not interested."  WTF?!  I also had a date with a guy today, but I’m kind of partied out for the weekend so I asked for a rain check.  I still think it’s too soon to date for me, but it’s a good distraction, at least, and hey… girl’s gotta eat! j/k

My friend at the gym (super fast marathoner, 3 hours in the Boston, I think) hasn’t taken a break from working out since 1984, and suggested I follow his streak to take my mind off the break up!  He was even hospitalized at some points after a marathon and STILL managed to work out, so I thought that was super impressive… we’ll see!  I am itching to sign up for a half-marathon in January, so perhaps that will be my next goal (I like to have at least one day off a week from working out!).  Whatever keeps me off the streets.

Hope everyone’s training hard and keeping outta trouble!

So I’m not going to lie - this week was nothing but waterworks at the most awkward moments!  And I’m not going to lie to myself and say that last week was the end of said waterworks because I’m sure it will be like this for awhile.  But as the saying goes, time heals all wounds, and I can confidently say I feel worlds better this weekend than the very traumatic last weekend, and am more hopeful and confident that I have nowhere to go but up… him constantly trying to contact me helps - what a jerk!  

A few things have helped with that, mostly in the form of self-help books, signing up for therapy sessions, journalling, my unbelievably strong network of family/gym buds/coworkers/friends/Y’ALL, weight lifting, running, and music.  Music in the car, during my workouts, at home while journalling - it’s amazing how musicians evoke such emotions and thoughts that make you realize that all the feelings you’re going through - they’re a normal part of the process, and it can be overcome.  My latest is Fergie’s "Big Girls Don’t Cry"… deep down, this had to do with my dependency issues, my unresolved past and my clinging to guys despite being against my best interests.  It’s a pretty touching song, and it’s just really stuck with me…. along with Britney’s "Stronger" (that’s right, I said it! ).  "Yellow Ledbetter" by Pearl Jam, "Lost Cause" by Beck, and "Too Late" by OneRepublic also resonated with me.

Despite me being somewhat on "cruise control" at work (luckily it’s the slow season and my coworkers/boss are amazingly understanding), I didn’t slack off on my workouts and, actually, that was probably my salvation, reason to wake up and get up every morning.  My gym buds are amazing and I actually lifted harder and ran faster this week!  Plus the triathlete I’ve been ogling/salivating over for the past three years actually smiled at me (he’s actually tried before, but I always get all geisha and look down… so this time I smiled back and he smiled bigger and then I looked down geisha-style ), plus told me about this article on ultrarunning, so yay!

But, despite me trying to be less awkward around hot men, and my parents’ insistence that I try online dating (where they met)… my heart’s just not in it.  I’ve signed up and stuff, but I think it will be awhile before I’m interested in dating again.  I think, for now, I just need to do a lot of soul-searching and internal renovation, figuring out why I do the things I do, catching it quicker, and trying to do things solely for my best interest (meaning - no more bad boys! ).  I have to learn to love being by myself, and moreover love myself, so that’s going to be my project for awhile.  

Anyway - I’ve missed you guys and gals!  Time to catch up

i’m not going to lie, from thursday to yesterday was pure pain and agony, and total fu/cking hell.  the good was that comedy central had a marathon of stand-up comics (my absolute favorite) to quasi-distract me and that i read a couple self-help books that were very enlightening.  the bad were the emotions - cascading and swirling all around were anxiety, sadness, rage, hopefulness, shattering - going so fast and changing so quickly that i felt so dizzy from it.  jealousy was mixed in, wondering what they were doing, if he was treating her like he treats me, them getting physical and all other blechy thoughts.  the cries were the worst - i honestly don’t even know if i cried that hard when my dad died (though i’m guessing some of the tears dealt with those unresolved issues with him).  just the most painful cries coming out and with each painful sob, i tried to squeeze as much as i could inside as if i was wringing out my heart, trying to purge the pain away and hoping that that was the worst it was going to feel.  it never was - every time i woke up that sadness and loneliness were felt over again, and i would repeat the process, curling and sobbing so loudly and outright gut-wrenchingly grieving… it just sucked so bad and i wouldn’t wish that on  my worst enemy.

going out was a double-edged sword - wanting to go to the gym but as soon as i did, friends would instantly know something was wrong and tears ensued (only on saturday, i was better today).  i do feel so incredibly lucky, though, to have so many people on my side… talking about the other person and what they’re up to usually helped, and i’m lucky that friends have lined up breakfast outings and after work activities to help me talk it out.

i have to see him how he truly is - conniving, cold hearted, twisting the situation to martyr himself and make me look like an idiot. it worked before, and so many times i logically knew he was wrong yet i was the one apologizing.  it’s hard… i still love and miss him so much it hurts… but how he can turn off his feelings for me to pursue something that he alleges ‘was a random encounter and they were not flirting/being romantic (LIAR, I READ IT MYSELF), claiming he never meant to hurt me and he loves me… fu/cking LIAR.  if it isn’t her, then it will eventually be another one.  and i just can’t do that anymore.  i want someone that wants me for me, just me, and wouldn’t want to share or be shared.  someone to respect me, be proud of me, support me as much as i support them.

and i think - that’s what i learned from this (though obviously, i still have a lot to learn).  i learned that i was his helper for far too long - if we only had 2 hours to talk, it would be 90% about him, his job, his motorcycle, and 10% about me (if that, because by then the tequila would set in and all he would want to do was fu/ck).  i’m learning that being a pleaser and a supporter isn’t enough - i want a partner, to be considered a partner.  that in its very self is daunting, because i think it states responsibility, meeting someone halfway, taking action.  but, i think with living on my own now - it’s all starting to gel that i CAN do it.  and will do it.  probably should’ve done it all along but hey… i was always a late bloomer.

i don’t blame just him - obviously my fear of going out there in all of my awkwardness and insecurities trying to meet people and my complacency had something to do with it… and yeah, i loved that he liked the outdoors, was athletic, and we were pretty funny together… plus the sex was pretty damn kickarse.  but all the cons that went with it… sacrificing my morals, my values, my self-respect and dignity… i have to fu/cking wake up and realize that they far outweigh the pros.

i promise i will get to your blogs as soon as i can… i’m sorry for being so selfish right now, just blogging and not being an active community member.  but i promise, promise, i will be back and give you all the love and support you have given to me, in all of its overwhelming vastness.  i’m definitely thinking of you and hope you’re training hard and reaching your goals!  i just had to say this while i’m on this "i think i’ll be okay" mode.  i have faith it will get better , eventually… i’m very hopeful in believing so.

and hey, if ever - best diet ever since i’m rockin’ 117!  sure, it’ll come back, but hey… gotta see the silver lining whenever possible, right?  gotta keep optimistic and keep the faith…

So here’s a play-by-play of what happened during her workout:

50 situps - full situps…not crunches
“This is nothing, I can do this in my sleep!  I’ll even hold a 10 pound plate across my chest as I lift up!” (famous last words…)

50 box jumps
“Never really liked these, but I can do them… 50, eh… well, okay, I can do them…”

50 situps
“Hrm, these are getting harder… (drops plate circa 20 sit-ups)… my stomach’s cramping…”

50 walking lunges
“I can do these, and with 12 pound dumbbells in each hand… hrm, it sure is taking long to walk diagonally from one corner to the other” (in the gym’s aerobic room, mostly because this one guy who I know from spin completes the same distance with one lunge as I do with 3 since he’s 6′3… but I’m not bitter)… circa 40 walking lunges, the legs are a-wobblay!!

50 situps
“Yeah, these pretty much suck now… I’ll add some bicycles so I don’t neglect my obliques” (did about 10 of them before I realized it’s better to just go with the sit-ups lol

50 burpees
First 10 burpees - “Hey, these are kinda fun, and a full-body workout!”
Next 10 burpees - “Okay, these are getting harder, and my jumps up aren’t that enthusiastic anymore…”
Next 10 burpees - “My arms are killing me, I would curse at Storm right now but I don’t want to lose count…”
Next 10 burpees - “F- the push-up part…” This is also where the jumps became more like toe-ups, and where 1 burpee took the same amount of time as two burpees in the beginning
Last 10 burpees - “Freakin a, I’m gonna feel this in the morning…”  This is also where I was SO psyched about finishing up, that I kinda bumped my chin with my knee… luckily, I didn’t bite my tongue or something, though that wouldn’t have been a surprise if it did happen!!

50 Situps
"Almost done… almost done… YAY, DONE!!  F’ the run (planned a 4-miler afterwards), I’ll just quasi-bike for a bit."

I was totally all sweaty from it and my heart was pounding especially with the burpees since they were in spurts!!  I was totally nauseous, too, especially after going to the next one, but I kinda like that feeling… I don’t know, it makes it feel like I worked hard!  Super fun, and this weekend, I vow to complete all burpees AND push-ups, goshdarnit!!  But many thanks to Stormi for something different and totally fun… well, now that I can laugh without wincing!!