pixiglittrpants’s BodyBlog

First off - I can’t believe how much I’ve missed during my… sabbatical… from this site!!  Whether it’s ILC just a few weeks from her next show or VTD/TLC/SpinCycler (if I missed someone, sorry!) still competing in the Inner/Outer Challenge or GJ with her activism (please check her blog out and get informed) or Ninja Bill and Bryan Gee giving us the motivational kick in the rear (and BG getting hugely deserved props for it) and SOOOO many others… I’ve just missed so much!!  I’m glad to hear that things are going awesome for everyone it seems, I’m very happy for everyone!!

I’ve been doing well, still sticking with my 3 day cycle a few blogs back and my delts are greatly improving from it (though I think I’m the only one that notices lol).  I find myself doing more reps rather than increasing the weights (though after Curt’s blog, I’m reconsidering!) these days, and people have commented that my arms look leaner, so yay!  I’m keeping at 20-25 miles a week running fairly consistently, and supplement it with cycling.  I *have* been a bit indulgent the past couple of weeks with chocolates (darn pre-Halloween goodness going on around me everywhere!), but since I’m going on a trip with this one guy in a few weeks, that’s definitely keeping me focused to eat cleaner these days!

Which, yeah, brings me to the next point… just when I was tired of all the drama-guys (okay, okay, I played a part too since it takes two…) and just trying to ’stand still’, all of a sudden three totally awesome, sincere, kind guys entered my life (plus all of them are super athletic, mostly through this one dating site for fitness freaks, though one i met at the gym (oh, I’ve talked about him I think - the guy I was suppose to run with!  Yeah, we finally started hanging out…).  Anyway, I’m thinking one is more of a friend, but the other two I’m having trouble… eh… picking… I guess.  So for now, I’m taking it super slow and just getting to know them.  Anyway, one of the guys unfortunately lives in another state, but he booked a flight for me to meet him in a few weeks!  I’m excited, but nervous as hell (and yes, I’m leaving his info. to all my friends just in case, plus he lives a half hour away from my parents (which was his idea since he was initially going to visit me but said, "well why don’t I just fly you here so you can visit with your parents, too?"  AWWWW *insert girly gush here hee hee*)!

And my ex - he’s texted/emailed a few times, and I haven’t responded to any!!!  GO ME (this is huge, since I hate being mean and/or ignoring people…)

Other than that, I’m really enjoying the autumn season (not too hot, not too cold except at night) and camping a lot these days over the weekend!  Totally fun and I love sleeping under the stars and fishing/hiking/mountain biking/enjoying nature during the day!

Anyway, I’m off to my next camping excursion, so have a fantabulous weekend and I’ll definitely be keeping in touch more often… it’s just such a shame that I’ve missed so much and I’m SO happy for all the progress each of you have made!!  Much love and wet sloppy kisses!

i had to write this because i saw tlc’s blog and got all teary… i know… i’m a jerk-ette!!  sorry i haven’t been on here for awhile, it’s been crazy.  believe it or not, i’ve already gone through 3 funky, drama-esque quasi-relationships, and it was kind of taxing on me.  each guy had their own fun and cool qualities (and there were a couple of others that were super cool but i just wasn’t attracted to them), but what i’m learning is that i need to stop filling that ‘void’ and learn to stand still with myself.  ironic, because i’m a chick who LOVES her alone time (or do things on my own), and most friends would agree that i’m the most independent person they know.  dating was such a whirlwind that it all became quite dizzying, but i think i was doing it ("keep busy") to not deal with the pain of the break-up, to put a band-aid over it.  and, meanwhile, it just festered, pussed out, and i was playing "hot and cold" games with the new ones, which is SO not my style because… that’s just cruel.  that’s not what i am, or what i want to be about.  it’s cold, heartless… just wrong.  a huge no-no in pixi code of ethics!

i think a lot of it had to do with my parents and friends, albeit well-meaning and loving.  but they just made me feel like i was ‘weird’ or ‘wrong’ if i wasn’t dating someone, that i HAD to get out there when sometimes… as much as i want to make them happy, i just want some downtime for just me!  so i’m learning to stand up for myself and telling them to back off.  i swear, i really hate it that they make me feel being 30 and single is heading towards spinster-dom… now i know what bridget jones was talking about!

so, i’m learning to stand still.  not cry over the past or feel sorry for myself, because what’s done is done… but fill that void by myself and fill it with myself, not with ‘guy of moment’ or looking for ‘the next one’.  it’s hard, and lonely at times, but i really think that once i achieve this, that i’ll be in a better position (and more open and not play games) to handle relationship-type situations in a mature and healthy manner.

good news is that i’m still working out tons… running lots, weight-training consistently, eating better.  i do feel leaner and i’ll take pics when i can.  i really feel it’s what’s keeping me grounded, especially running with its meditative qualities, and lifting with its need to stay focused and in constant good form.

i’ll be completely honest and say that i don’t think i can catch up with all your blogs… i WILL catch up on the most recent ones this weekend, but i’m really sorry if i can’t read all of them (because i honestly, truly LOVE reading them and get so happy when you’ve made progress!).  i TRULY hope y’all are doing well and taking care of yourselves, though!!  i love you guys and WILL be back soon and will most definitely catch up this weekend!  hope y’all understand and again, i’m really sorry.

*Tugs your shirt and looks up at you* Excuse me, have you seen my mother?

Hi everyone!  Sorry times ten (plus two) on being so MIA lately… the latter half of September kicked my arse in a major way in all realms of my life - work, friends/family, health, past drama, dating, etc.  I was definitely tested on many occasions, and though I do feel "stronger" in a sense of overcoming some things (reinforced by continually listening to U2’s "Stuck in a Moment" - I LOVE that song!), that sadly meant sacrificing time away from this awesome site with all you beautiful people… sorry.

The fantastic part is that my workouts were consistent and strong (same schedule as prior blog and has worked well for me), and were pretty much my lifeline because, for a couple of hours a day, I could just block everything out and focus and work on me that was truly, only for me.  As much as I love helping and reaching out to others… it can get exhausting sometimes!  But, I’m always glad to do it, I just had to learn to balance it all out a bit so I was still able to take care of myself.  My diet has faltered, though, so while I had amazing energy for my runs, spin classes, weights sessions, and biking excursions thanks to pizza, sammiches, and sushi - aesthetically there have been no improvements.

But!  Even though we’re already a couple of days in, I’m positive that October will see better days and 2008 will close out amazingly!  Plus, I’ve officially signed up for the Carlsbad Half Marathon in January 2009, and shooting for the Triple Crown next year (you get a cool gigantor medal for running Carlsbad half, La Jolla Half (in April), and America’s Finest (in August)!!  So Wendy, Suzy, GJ, and any others that are interested - sign up, sign up, sign up!   You know you have a tour guide here!

Thanks to all you loving folks who left messages and pm’s to me lately… I will respond as soon as possible!  I will also catch up with all you wonderful people this weekend when I *finally* have some free time (save for a date with a triathlete on Saturday!), but I hope everyone is doing fantastic and just know I greatly missed you!