Operation: Bikini Bombshell

greetings all. i am still training hard. i’m about a month in on stevep78’s psychotic fat destruction….and it seems i am back to square one. the worklout plan is great. as usual, i can feel myself getting stronger. but, my body is still working against me. after the 1st 2 weeks, i lost about 3% body fat. that’s about the norm for me on any program, then everything just stops.

i’ve been training seriously for about 2 years now…weights 3-5 times a week and cardio 4-5 times a week. i’ve tried many, many diets (including ones supervised by physicians). yet, nothing seems to work. i’m still…for lack of a better word…fat.  i haven’t been able to take metformin, which was prescribed to me for insulin resistance because it makes me so sick, i can barely function. and diet and exercise alone have not worked for me. it only maintains my current weight…and i need to cut. my body is still basically the same and i don’t understand how that can be so with all the work i’ve done.
i’m sooooo frustrated, but it’s doubtful that i will stop training. even as i write this, i’m getting ready to walk my dogs and go work out. it’s become part of my routine - the break that i need to focus on me and no one else.
but, i do need some answers. my doctors have not been able to help me so far…my blood results are always a bit off but close to normal so they didn’t think anything was wrong with me until i insisted they do further blood work. basically, i web md’ed myself. with the research that i’ve done, it seems that my body is still converting whatever i eat to fat…yes, back to my nemesis - body fat. there has to be some solution for this. but, what is it?

ok, i’m unsure if i will be doing this, but i know that lots of you guys might be interested (especially you  bloggers). tom venuto is sponsoring his own BFFM contest. check it out:

Last year, I alluded to the possibility of a Burn The Fat
body transformation competition.

That idea has now become reality.

Announcing…

The Burn The Fat, Feed The Muscle (BFFM) - Real Time Physique (RTP)
Transformation Contest

I’m thrilled to have joined forces with Australian Fitness blogger
Adam Waters in co-promoting this highly motivational event.

I have always wanted to host a fitness competition, but I’ve
noticed that ever since Body For Life, almost all of the contests
have  been more or less the same copy cats of BFL.

I’ve been waiting to do something original, and this BFFM / RTP
physique transformation challenge is so unique, I can say
without hesitation that it has never been done before.

The contest is similar to other “before and after” physique
competitions in that we will be looking to choose one male
and one female winner who make the most physical improvement,
as judged by the before and after photos.

The difference is, this is an ACCOUNTABILITY based competition.
To be eligible to be chosen as a finalist, you will be held
accountable for your training, nutrition and lifestyle for 84
days by having to blog your results every day, with at least
a 90% compliance score.

With this level of accountability, whether you are chosen as
the winner to join us for the amazing prize package weekend
with Adam and I in New York City and New Jersey in August, you
will still be a winner, because this system of fitness accountability
virtually assures that you will make the best transformation of
your life

Adam and I, and your fellow “burners” and “shredders” will be
holding you to it!  that’s what accountability is all about!
I personally believe that accountabiliy is the single most
important motivational force there is.

I invite you to learn more details about the BFFM- RTP physique
transformation challenge by visiting:

http://www.RTP-SYSTEM.com

There may be other fitness contests out there this year, but I have
a feeling that everyone will be talking about this as THE contest of 2009

And by the way, I’m using this as accountability for myself, since
we will be flying the winners of the contest to join us here in
New Jersey and New York City for an amazing prize weekend and part
of the prize package includes pro photographer photos (with
Manhattan skyline in the background).

I plan to be in PEAK shape for that, as I’m sure every contestant
who wants to win will also. Like I said, Accountability is powerful,
and it’s real.

learn more and sign up at

http://www.RTP-SYSTEM.com

yes, i am still alive.

yes, my progress has still been nil to super slow.

but yes, i am still @ it. i’m still being poked, prodded and tested to make sure i get a proper diagnosis this time around. i should have more info tomorrow but i was recently diagnosed as insulin resistant/glucose intolerant….which was making me crazy. i knew something had to be wrong with me. i was training hard, eating right and my flab was just staying put. any way, i am a busy little bee. i will have to write more on that later.

i’m exploring some options other than metformin/glucophage, which makes me a bit nauseated….bleh. maybe i need to time closer to my meals (or after or something). the pukiness and the flu threw me off schedule for a couple weeks. i was so weak, i could barely make it downstairs to walk my dog a few times a day….and he is soooooo sweet and cuddly, he didn’t even bother me til he absolutely had to go (as long as i let him sleep in bed with me).

i started my M-F schedule again (upper, lower, cardio, upper, lower)…mdrayne, don’t rain fire down upon me. i’m not a slacker, but damn, i like to use my saturdays for other stuff (the beach, bikram yoga, pilates) instead of just plain old cardio.

anyway, thanks to all for checking in on me. as soon as my dr gets my med’s on track, it should be easier for me to reach my goal.

if the game starts at 5, i’m late. if it starts at 6, i will not be as late as i usually am. i don’t understand football, but i am a former cheerleader and i’m looking forward to the soiree and the halftime show.

now, on to the point at hand, which has ZERO to do with football. i am still working out (4 days weight training, 5 days cardio) but my progress has been less than desirable. i feel stronger but body fat still plagues me. i changed my diet last month but it hasn’t really done much for me…yet. i must admit i have not had the transformation i envisioned (yet). i knew it would not be easy, but i had no idea my fluff would hold on like a non-swimmer to a boogie board that’s floated out to sea.

i did get my blood test results back and they were borderline (whatever that means), but i’m still having all the same symptoms. now, i have to do further blood tests and have an ultrasound completed on my thyroid. from some of my symptoms, my doctor said it "may" be hypothyroidism but she did not want to be hasty in her diagnosis until she had the lsh, fsh and ultrasound back…which means another week or so of waiting because i have all of this completed tomorrow.

but, on the bright side, it is what it is…and if it is what they think it is or what i suspected (yeah, i’m a web md’er), at least i will know what i’m working with. and i can figure out a plan of action from that point…if anything needs to be changed.

today was rest day for me….no activity except a nice long AM walk for matisse (my fierce little yorkie) and yoga at home. i got up too late to go to bikram, which i was really looking forward to caz i got a massage yesterday…and bikram today would have been like having another full body massage on top of that. well, except sweatier and with a room full of other sweaty people.

ciao for now.

but i did not shoot the deputy.

gotta luv bob marley. gotta stop watching "i am legend." this is the show de jour on hbo, showtime, etc for late nite non-sleepers. oddly enough, i taped it…dvr/tivo so i can watch it whenever i want, but i still have not seen the alternate ending that’s on dvd. has anyone? does will live? caz i’ve heard there’s a sequel being written as i type. the writer in me assumes it will be a pre-quel…detailing the events that happened before crazy took over and started injecting random people for the sake of medicine.

think gardisil, the shot offered for hpv for women. there was an article in the paper months ago that the governor of texas made it mandatory for women over 15 y/o to be vaccinated. if i lived in texas, i would be writing my senator and calling the governor to tell them to collectively kiss both mine and my daughter’s asses. not that i have anything against medicine, but things should be tested and people should be given a choice.

maybe it’s just the rebel in me. i don’t like people telling me what to do. well, unless i’ve researched it and think it makes sense for me.

anyway, someone should write a horror movie about that (horror isn’t my genre). here’s the scenario….women are given a shot to prevent certain female troubles….the shot seems to cure it at first, but they develop other symptoms. they become seductive. no man can resist them. but the man they take home….is dinner.

anyway, my saga continues. it is the same - eradicate body fat. develop some girly muscles. the body fat is an issue. i am still continuing my diet and workout plan. this, i assume (and have researched and been told) will build lean body mass and lower my body fat.

i’m researching other options to see if there’s anything wrong with me physically.  a few years ago, i had some borderline endocrine issues, but the med’s made me sick even when i was on the lowest possible doseage. even when my diet was on point and my workouts seemed endless (until the 60th minute), i still did not lose any weight. i am reluctant to see an endocrinologist again. from my last experience, they skewed the tests to get the results they wanted to put my on daily medication - they did not take fasting tests, but asked me to eat the fattiest food possible for up to 3 hours before i had blood drawn). i think (and i’m not a doctor) that anyone’s tests would be quite different with that amout of fat.

sooooooo, on to my point. has anyone had metabolic testing done? and woudl i need that and glucose testing? caz this shit is annoying. i am working way too hard to not have lost any weight. not that i’m stopping…i can see a baby gun under the flab on my arms dying to come out. i just want results.

ok, i think this is the 1st year since i’ve known what a resolution is that i have not made any. nada, not one single one. i have some goals that are already in progress, but no resolutions. i don’t know if i was too busy…i had some procrastination issues with one of my writing goals and ended up scrambling at the last minute…or if i was just over it (resolutions, not goals).

the only thing i could think of today was one of the resolutions i made last year…talk less, listen more. even though i consider myself a fairly quiet person (sometimes)…my BFF and her hubby (the other BFF) have informed me that i am quite the little chatterbox. and they may be right, but only with people that i like. if you’re not on that list and we’ve met in person, you’d probably think i was mute. and being who i am, i had to rationalize their little analysis…i think it’s because i don’t really watch tv (it’s mostly used for background noise and i tivo whatever i want to watch for my late nite insomnia episodes). and i always catch them in the middle of some show they like - hahaha, and talk all the way thru it. certain shows, i’ve been instructed that there’s no talking til commercials and i’m always like "how can you stand this (meaning the not talking)" after i’ve been shushed a few times.

anyway, i am still continuing the assault on body fat. christmas was no biggie, but new years….ahhh, the brunches, the champagne, the carbs, the champagne, and the mimosas. they all added up and smacked my ass on the scale. but, i am working it out.

<<<<<wants some girly muscles

like santa, it does exist…well, maybe only in your head (or your dreams).

i have slowly gotten over my fear of the gym. it may have been that i didn’t know what to do once i got there. but, my sessions with ava have come to an end and i have to start training alone…i’m buying a condo and my disposable funds are on lock down for the moment (i have to strike while it’s still a buyer’s market and rates are low….and i can actually afford to buy a place where i really want to live).

typically (this is just for background info only…i have to learn to live in the moment and plan for the future instead of clinging to the past), i have not been able to train alone. but, now i am armed with a wealth of knowledge from this site, all that i learned from ava, and pure determination.

now, i just need some tricks to blast off some body fat. i would swear that i am carb sensitive caz it seems that my diet (although it is clean with minimal cheats), is just maintaining my current weight. i still have not dropped any scale weight in over a month (thanksgiving and 2 cheats included). i think i need to tweak the oatmeal and rice intake. but if i do lower carb, i may need some supplements for energy.
i’ve increased my cardio to 5 days a week, though i am still aiming for 6 (and will add morning sessions at least 3 days a week in addition to that this week).

i feel stronger and i think my little muscles are just hidden under my fluff. in fact, i was looking at my old measurements from about 6 months ago and i’ve added 2 inches to my biceps (from 13" to 15"). but there’s a bunch of fluff covering it and covering my triceps. i am also plagued by belly fat

and the rest of your life to keep it up.

ok, so tomorrow (or is it tuesday…i started on 11/2) is the end of round 1 of my clean eating journey. it wasn’t as hard as i thought it would be. normally, i only last a week or so on any diet before i would cheat….and that one cheat would lead me back to my old ways of eating. it was never stuffing myself constantly….more like the opposite. i never ate breakfast (unless i was doing brunch with someone or eating with my man….and even then, i would mostly opt for coffee, maybe a croissant and conversation), lunch was a maybe…sometimes yes, sometimes a salad (though i loathe iceberg lettuce), sometimes a sandwich, but normally nothing at all. by dinner time, i was starving (of course) and too hungry to cook so i resorted to fast food on the drive home. i am pretty picky so it was almost always the same things - either fish and chips or tacos. mexican food is my my absolute fave.

working out was sporadic once i was over my goal weight. i never really used weights until i had a trainer. cardio was on either the treadmill or maybe a video tape…i can remember doing the 30 minute workouts with gilad on summer breaks when i was in high school and college (i thought i was was fit then…i was fairly small and all i wanted was a little muscle tone, not to lose any weight).
at any rate, this is not meant to reminisce on the loss of any particular food or old habits…just to say that sometimes it takes a little bit to move on (and keep moving). i am impatient and my results are a bit discouraging (snafus with me changing my diet and not including enough calories, aggravating my old injuries), but i am still determined. failure is not an option.
now, if only i could blast off excess body fat quickly….then, i would be a happy chica.

ok, eating clean is going well (though i did sneak a taco about a week or so ago, i hopped right back on the clean eating wheelbarrow the same evening for my last meal - a casein protein shake). i had already planned to have thanksgiving as my cheat day, but it ended up just being a cheat meal. honestly, i think i had more wine than food because all the things i thought i wanted to pig out on were not as appealing once they were in front of me.

i baked bread (rustic whole wheat and oatmeal), but i didn’t eat it. i was pining for dessert but only took a bite or two….i was really looking forward to some sweet potato pie, but there was sooooooo much sugar in it, it destroyed the taste of the sweet potato for me. when i got home, i still wanted some, so i just chopped up a sweet potato and baked myself some sweet potato faux fries.

i think the lesson that i have finally learned is that one mis-step does not have to derail you. oddly enough, i’ve always applied this in work, etc….but never while dieting. i guess you have to learn some lessons the hard way.

enjoy the holiday weekend, everyone…and let your goals be your guide.

if you can tell me what song this line is from, you will win a lame virtual prize.

at any rate, my session with ava today was all above evaluation - diet, body fat, etc…and regarding my diet, she told me i was doing it all WRONG - not enough calories and not enough carbs in the AM to sustain my workouts. now that i know, i fell better. but damn, i wish i had not put this off a few weeks ago. i could have already corrected my mistakes and have blasted off some fluff in the meantime. but, the past is the past and….moving right along. i plan to keep at it til i get what i want.